“Lyro, please,” I beg. I grab the back of his sash and pull him backward toward the door before this devolves into a physical fight. He doesn’t even seem to feel me yanking on him, though.
“You would do the same to us now,” Oljin snarls. “You’d take Lena away. We need her here for the Hatching. She leaves, and thousands die. I know what it feels like to have an Alara, greenling. Don’t pretend you wouldn’t start a war for her.”
Lyro goes absolutely still. “I would kill her first,” he says, biting off each word like a full sentence. “I’d do it myself, as you should have.”
Rose turns her stunned face toward me, but I can’t look her in the eye. All I can think is that he’sright. Not that Oljin should have killed Rose, but that Lyro should sacrifice me if it means stopping a war. It’s horrible to think about, but it’s moral. It’s right.
“Let’s go,” I say again, pulling at him. This time, thankfully, he notices me. Turning, he cups my jaw, lifting my face so he can see it better. Checking to see the effect of his words, I think. I give him a tiny nod of understanding, and his shoulders relax.
“Stay with us, Lena,” Rose blurts out as we start for the door. “You’re not safe with him.”
“I know,” I tell her over my shoulder. “It’s okay. There’s no such thing, anyway.”
On the way to the hatchery, Lyro frowns at the floor, still looking rattled by the argument. I poke him. “You okay?”
“You should probably stay with them,” he says tightly.
“They’ll lock you up unless we stay together.”
He shrugs. “It’s a prison of one kind or another.”
I angle in front of him, planting my feet and forcing him to stop. “Are you serious right now? Are you really saying that being with me is like aprison?”
“Isn’t it? Doesn’t it trap me in every way? Burden me with choices I don’t want to make?”
My insides feel like one big bruise. This is my worst fear, a repeat of all the worst parts of my life, being stuck with someone who doesn’t really want me.
It’s my dad who left when I was too young to remember. He’d rather sell shoes in Montana than be a father to me and Ada. It’s my extended family after my mom’s accident, none of whom would take in two orphans. It’s the foster families who resented every bite of food I swallowed. It’s my sister giving up on having her own life, throwing away her own scholarships and working herself into the ground for tips soIcould get a college degree.
“I just want to be wanted.” The words, embarrassing and revealing, tumble out before I can stop them. “I thought if I stood by you, you’d change your mind about wanting an Alara.”
“Why would Iwantthis?!” Lyro flares, colors crackling over his skin like lightning bolts. He flexes his fingers like he’s thinking about strangling me right now. Instinctively, I take a step back from him, and his eyes shutter. “Rose was right. Stay with them. They want you. I don’t.”
He’s lying. He’slying. He does want me. I gave him a button to press, and he pressed it hard. But he didn’t mean it.
Warmth spreads through me, even though I’m still aching from his well-aimed emotional blow. “I’m staying with you.”
He shrugs like he doesn’t care one way or the other. “It’s a prison for you, too.”
“Stop it,” I say, digging my nails into my palms to distract myself from the panicky feelings that keep rising every time he rejects our connection or tries to twist it into something ugly. “I can’t take any more today. I need you to be nice to me right now. Please, can you pretend you like me for one minute?”
“Idon’tlike you.” Lightning-fast, he grabs my throat, pulling me close with a scary look on his face. He squeezes, cutting off my air. Is this how I die? “I’mobsessedwith you.Addictedto you. Unable tobreathewhen I think of losing you. Sick about what I might have todoto you. Isn’t thatenough?”
His nostrils flare as he pulls in a deep breath, his fingers loosening slightly so I can take one of my own. Then he dips his head down and kisses me. I’m so shocked, I almost push him away. But his lips are soft and warm, the comforting antidote to his cold words. It’s like he knew it’s just what I needed.
I wrap my arms around his neck, pushing up on tiptoes and leaning in so my breasts are pressed against him. I slip my tongue along the seam of his lips, daring him to take it further.Pushing him to let down his guard, to go wild. Giving him access to anything he wants.
He growls against my mouth, a sharp warning. Then his hand slides from my throat to the back of my neck, fingers tangling in my hair. He uses the leverage to control every aspect of our contact, guiding my movements.
Tension coils inside me, bracing for him to devour me. My pussy tingles in anticipation of what’s next. But he only lets me have a little of him at a time. A taste of his tongue, flavored with smoke and herbal tea. A scrape of his teeth against my bottom lip. A nudge of his forehead against mine.
It doesn’t feel like obligation, even though I had to beg for it. It doesn’t feel like lust, even though his cock digs into my stomach through our clothes.
It feels like love.
He pulls away, breathing roughly. “I hope you enjoyed that, terrakin, because it will never happen again.”
“Okay.” I hide my smile. It’s definitely happening again. I don’t know when, but I know it will. Kisses like that are never one and done. They’re the beginning of something big.
