I paused midway toward her mouth, my attention narrowing to the small white pill now resting on her covered thigh.
Fuck.
“What the hell”—she plucked it between her index finger and thumb, then brought it closer for inspection—“isthis? I thought you said you didn’t do drugs?”
I scrambled off of her to sit on the bed. “I don’t. Not anymore.” It was true. I’d flushed away the bag the night before. How had I forgotten to get rid of the loose pills I’d stuffed into my pocket?
Maybe I didn’t forget, not truly.Knowing I still had some to tide me over until I saw Jay again might’ve been my crutch.
Terri waved the pill under my nose, gripping the sheet around her torso and sitting up. “Then what the fuck is this?”
“It’s a prescription.”
“Oh yeah? Then where’s the bottle? And why do you keep pills in your pocket?” Her eyes narrowed and her lips flattened into a thin line.
I backed myself off the bad and stood, splaying my hands out, inwardly begging her to understand. “Jay gets them for me. But I flushed them last night. I don’t feel nervous or overwhelmed when I’m with you, and I decided I didn’t need them anymore.”
“So, let me get this straight.” She flung the covers away, revealing her very naked, very beautiful dark skin as she sat on the edge of the mattress with her back turned to me. First her shirt went on, then she wiggled into her leggings. “You let that douchebag give you pills that he says are prescribed?”
“Yeah.” I paced around to the end of the bed. “It’s how we’ve always done it. Dr. Benchon is one of the docs contracted by the label. Everything’s legal.”
“Paxton.” She slid her shoes on, then propped a hand on a hip. “You’re an idiot if you believe he’s a real doctor. Have you ever even made an appointment to see him?”
I gave a slight shrug and stared at the flat, beige carpet.I hate how impersonal and generic hotel rooms are.For the first time in many years, I craved having a place of my own. Somewhere I could prop my guitar and sprawl onto a large couch. Somewhere I could store my meager positions securely. Somewhere I could call home.
“Paxton, I can’t do this.” She pointed to the bed, where not just one pill had fallen, but several, each tiny circle like a period at the end of a sentence telling me our relationship had come to a full stop before it had barely begun.
“Please, CC.” I faced her, my chest still bare as I moved in front of her. “Just give me a chance.”
“I already did. And maybe you’re the guy I fell in love with, maybe not, but I can’t—andwon’t—put up with a junkie, Pax. This isn’t what I signed up for.” She slipped beside me, toward her purse, but I gripped her upper arm.
“Just wait a damn minute.” Fear and anger warred inside my heart at the thought of losing her once again because I knew if she walked out that door, there’d be no coming back.
“Release me right now.” Her eyes gleamed with anger. “Or I will knock your ass onto the floor.”
Raising my hands, I took a step away, giving her space. “Wait. Please wait, CC. Don’t do this. Maybe I’ve made a few mistakes, but I’m trying to do better. Doesn’t that count for something?”
She dashed to the foyer, and I followed like some sick, lost puppy, the desperation of the situation churning in my stomach. Slipping the strap over her shoulder, she whirled to face me, her chest rising and falling with each breath.
I wanted to sprint to the door and block it, beg her to stay and hear me out.
But really, what is there to say? I ruin everything I touch.
“Paxton.” She shook her head, the heat in her furious glance softening. “I can’t do this. You broke my heart once. I can’t watch you destroy yourself and have those barely healed cracks split open again. I just can’t.”
One step forward. “What if I promise to do whatever you want me to do? Rehab, a sponsor, whatever? Besides, it’s not like I take them all the time.”Liar.
Turning to the door, she flipped the deadbolt and grasped the handle, her shoulders lifting with a deep breath.
“It’s not enough.”
“But—” I reached a hand to her shoulder, ready to pull her back, to finish our discussion, but froze when I saw who stood in the doorway, her hand upraised as if she were about to knock.
Jay stepped around Katrina. “Yo, dude. Come back to the house with us. You’ve been at this hotel for like, three days already. We miss you.” His eyes skimmed CC in obvious appreciation.
He doesn’t have a clue who she is.
“You can bring your new flavor, too.”
