“You chalk it up to living the dream life, you know? He’s just an athlete enjoying his time in the limelight. But I knew something was wrong when I’d find him drinking alone, in the quiet of his sprawling house.”
I close my eyes. “Coach…”
“It was a deeper problem. There was something eating at him and he used alcohol to numb it. It ended up ruining his career and shattered the relationships he had with his family and friends. We offered him help and support, tried to get him involved in AA. Nothing took. And then the drinking spiraled to drug use.”
“Coach, I swear to you…”
“Jeremy, I’m not trying to tell you I think you’re suicidal or need to be watched like a hawk, okay?” He lets out an exhausted breath. “I just want to make sure you have someone tell younow, while it’s still early on, that you can find healthier alternatives to dealing with whatever is eating you alive.”
I don’t know what to say. So I don’t say anything and just fixate my eyes on the wall behind him, my hands resting on my hips.
“We care about you here, Jeremy. I know things with your sister and dad have been rough for a while.” My eyes shoot to his. “Your agent called to let me know in case you missed any practices. Which would have been understandable. But you didn’t miss a single one. Some people would call that dedication. And at some point in my career, I might have agreed with them. But I know what’s important in life now, much more than I did when I was in the sunrise of my pro career.”
I see his eyes briefly lock onto the lone photo of his daughter that sits on his small conference table.
“It doesn’t make you less dedicated or weak to take time to focus on something that is more important than soccer,” he says. “The truth is – and if you repeat this to anyone, I’ll deny every word – there should be a lot in your life that is more important than what happens on that field.”
That ball in my chest is growing, the pressure enough to make me feel slightly sick. I’ve been an emotional mess over the past six weeks, ever since Charlie picked me up from the station and tried to get me to open up.
I clear my throat. Then clear it again.
“Thanks, Coach. I really do appreciate it. And I know it sounds like I’m bullshitting you, but I really do have things under control.”
He plops a hand on my shoulder and gives me a sad smile, then takes a step back and turns towards his desk.
“I’ll have more info for you later today about the sports league. Make sure to check your email.”
I say my thanks one more time, then hightail it out of the office before he can add anything else.
* * * * *
As horrible as this may sound, there are some perks to having to hire a driver to get around. I should have considered this a long time ago, but always thought it was a bit too self-indulgent. I mean, I’m not David Beckham.
Malory is sitting inside of the already air conditioned SUV when I walk out front. Once I’ve gotten settled in the back, he begins the 45-minute traffic-congested drive to my house. I take the time to flick through my phone and answer a few emails. I’ve lived in SoCal my entire life and I have to say, having a driver handle this traffic while I mess around on my phone is definitely not the worst.
Once we pull into my spot in the underground lot beneath my building, he stays with the car, and I head upstairs. Part of me feels like a prick for essentially hiring someone to sit around and wait for me. But, what am I gonna do? Take the bus?
I chuckle to myself at the thought.
Once I make it inside, I change into my workout gear and hit the building gym for a much-needed chance to get rid of some excess energy. When I get back to my apartment an hour later, tired in the best way, I find a new email alert.
To: Jeremy Jameson <[emailprotected]>
From: Robert Kilzer <[emailprotected]>
Subject: Community Service
Jameson,
Patrick Gary is the guy organizing the at-risk youth sports league in Burbank. He’s thrilled to have you help. He asked if you know anyone who can be your second. I figure you could ask one of the guys, but you might have a friend or something you’d rather ask?
Regardless, make sure to contact him in the next day or so. He can give you more info that you can share with your lawyer to make sure it all clears the community service requirements.
And think about what I said. Let me know if I can do anything for you.
Coach
At the bottom is Patrick’s contact info. I immediately give him a call as I grab a water bottle from the fridge.
