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All right, then. It was clear she wasn’t wanted here. She gripped the coffee cup like a vise, not wanting to immediately jump up from the table and run off, but his abrupt dismissal sure made it difficult.
“I’m sorry. I’m preoccupied with a few business matters that’ll keep me busy today. I didn’t mean to come off sounding like such a prick.”
That made her feel a little bit better. “Oh, it’s no problem. We can do it another time.”
“No, Kaitlyn. We can’t.”
“What do you mean?”
He stood and poured himself another cup of coffee, then refilled hers. When he sat down, he took her hands in his. “I had a great time last night.”
“Me too.” She knew there was a “but” coming and felt it stab her middle like the quick jab of a sharp blade. She wrapped her arms around her stomach as if covering it would prevent him from saying the words.
“But, I’m not in the market for a relationship. I had one and it ended tragically.”
There it was. And despite her instincts to protect herself, she’d felt every word with a burning pain that pierced her skin. Pushing back the hurt, she wanted to blurt out that not every woman he fell in love with would die so terribly, but held her tongue. Instead, she said, “You can’t let the past dictate your future, Brett.”
He jammed his fingers through his hair. “It’s more than just what happened with Amanda. In fact, one doesn’t have anything to do with the other. I’m just not cut out to have a woman in my life.”
“You seemed to enjoy having a woman in your life last night.” She sounded bitter, but dammit she felt bitter. This wasn’t fair!
“I like sex. Hell, I loved the sex we had last night. It was the hottest fucking I’ve had in a very long time. But that’s all it could ever be. I’m sorry if you were looking for more than that.”
Pain lanced her chest and she wanted to rub the spot that ached near her breast.
She had no one to blame but herself for this. She’d asked for this by assuming that making love with him meant as much to him as it had meant to her. And she’d been the one who’d pushed for it. He had tried to talk her out of it.
Maybe she should have listened.
Okay, so he was only in the market for casual sex. If that was all she could get, she could live with it. Because she wasn’t buying for one second his spiel about just being in it for the physical aspect. That was his pain talking, and his fear of losing someone else he loved. She was patient and was willing to wait it out.
“There’s nothing wrong with a little casual sex between two people who have great chemistry, Brett. I’m not…looking for a relationship, either.”
Liar. She wanted forever with him.
He arched a brow. “You’re not exactly the type of girl who fucks just for fun. I’ll bet you haven’t had more than a handful of lovers in your lifetime.”
He hit that right on the mark. She shrugged. “I’m just not ready to settle down. I enjoy sex, and yeah, I am discriminating when it comes to choosing partners. But after last night, I wouldn’t mind a repeat performance now and then.”
It cost her dearly to adopt such a carefree attitude when she was breaking inside. But she stood and put her cup in the sink, then approached him. He stared at her, frowning, as if he couldn’t quite believe what she’d said. Good. Let him stew on it for a while. She leaned in and pressed a soft, lingering kiss to his lips, winding her fingers down his naked chest to cup his balls and palm his already hardening cock. When she pulled back, his eyes had gone smoky dark.
She grinned and said, “I gotta go. Let me know when you want to schedule another session for…painting.” With a wink she turned and left the kitchen, gathered her things and hurried out the door before she did something stupid, like burst into tears.
Brett sat frozen, unable to move after Kaitlyn’s warm kiss and questing hands had him hard and shaking with the need to take her right on the table.
Ah, hell. The idea of having casual sex with Kaitlyn made him feel like a prick. He’d take and she’d give and then what? He’d still want more, and he’d end up hating her and hurting her for forcing him to acknowledge his own desires.
That he refused to do. He was never going to subject her to the darkness that hovered just inside him, threatening to return him to the days of alcohol oblivion.
His alcoholism had caused the death of his wife. God, he’d been really drunk that night. And Amanda had called him on it, demanded that he seek help for his addiction. She’d even tried to take the keys away from him. But oh no, he was perfectly in control and didn’t need his wife to drive him home.
Yeah, he was in control all right. He’d controlled the car right down that embankment and hit the tree head-on. And Amanda had suffered irreparable internal injuries that had taken her life, while he’d walked away with a concussion that he’d been too drunk to even feel and a broken leg. He’d deserved much more than that. He’d deserved to be the one to die, not Amanda. He’d deserved to go to prison, and probably would have if the hospital had done a blood alcohol on him. For some reason they never even checked. Of course he’d been stone cold sober by the time they pulled Amanda out of the wreckage. And it had been raining that night so the streets were slick. He told the police he’d lost control of the vehicle on a slippery curve and they’d bought it.
The last words spoken with Amanda had been words of anger. Yeah, he remembered that part all too clearly. “You’re going to kill us both, Brett,” she’d said, right before he’d lost it.
Closing his eyes and forcing back the gut-wrenching memories, he wished for the millionth time that he’d never touched that first can of beer. Hell, he wished a lot of things. Blamed everyone else for what had been his problem all along.
But he couldn’t go back, and he couldn’t change what he’d done.
And no matter how long he’d been sober, he’d never take the chance that he could harm someone he cared about.
He’d never hurt someone he loved like he’d hurt Amanda. And despite the fact he hadn’t touched alcohol since that black day six years ago, he knew the temptation that lived inside him, knew at any moment he could reach for a bottle and take one giant step back into the days of hell.
If and when that ever happened, he’d make sure he was the only one stepping into that void. Kaitlyn would not be accompanying him on the journey. He’d just have to work harder to push her away.
The sound of the phone ringing jerked him out of his self-torment.
“Hello?”
“Brett McGregor, are you avoiding me?”
Oh, God. Kaitlyn’s mother, Angelina. “Now how could I avoid the most beautiful woman in Louisiana?”
“Quit sweet-talking me, you scoundrel. You’re as bad as Aidan and I’m immune to the both of you. We haven’t seen you around here in months. It’s Sunday and we’re having the entire family over for dinner. Get your butt over here at fi
ve o’clock.”
Shit! The last thing he needed to do was see Kaitlyn again. Not until he could put his mind around what he had to do to keep her at a distance. But one never turned down a request from Angelina Storm. She was the closest thing to a real parent that he’d ever had, and she was right. He’d been so immersed in his work that several months had gone by and he hadn’t seen the rest of the family. Turning her down would only make her more determined. In fact, he wouldn’t put it past her to drag dinner and her entire family to his doorstep. “Yes, ma’am. Five o’clock it is.”
“Excellent! I’ll see you then.”
He hung up and wondered at the sudden invitation. Knowing the Storms and their incredible magic, he wouldn’t put it past Angelina to know that something was going on between him and Kaitlyn. He groaned at the thought of a family inquisition, and decided he’d better be mentally ready to handle a barrage of questions.
This wasn’t going to be a fun night.
“You invited Brett for dinner?”
Kaitlyn cast wide eyes toward her mother, who blinked back at her with an innocent look that Kait wasn’t buying.
“Yes I invited Brett for dinner. Any reason not to?”
Yeah, about a hundred, the least of which was the oh-so sweet soreness that still lingered between her legs. She’d barely gotten out of his house with her dignity intact this morning. Add last night’s sexcapades into the mix and this was going to be one uncomfortable evening.
She thought she’d have at least a day or two before she’d have to face him again, so she could figure out her battle plan.
Right now she had no plan, other than hoping like hell her family didn’t find out what was going on between them. The last thing she needed was them sticking their noses into her business.
Oh, God, this was not good!
