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Like she was doing now. Her mother's voice still lingered in her head, and she knew her mother would never approve of what she'd done with Will, certain that it would somehow affect her skating performance.
Instead, as she went through her practice routine, she felt invigorated and alive in ways she hadn't felt before. Her music infused her and her jumps hit the mark. Even Yegor commented that she looked good out there.
Of course, she looked good out there. Because she felt good.
She felt damn good. And not because she was swooning over some guy.
But because she'd made a decision she felt good about. Because she'd made her own choice for once in her life.
And that was the part that felt really damn great.
After practice, she went back to her apartment. She grabbed a tall glass of water and sipped on that while she checked messages on her phone.
There was a text from Lisa.
What's up? Watch skiing with me today!
That did sound like fun. It had snowed overnight and the fresh powder should make for a great day on the slopes. She sent a text back to Lisa letting her know she wanted to go.
She had another message, this time from Will.
Practice at eleven, then I'm free. What are you up to?
She let him know she had plans to watch skiing with Lisa and invited him along.
He texted back a short time later. I'm in.
She also had a missed call and a voice mail from her mother. She sighed. Why couldn't her mom just text her?
She punched the voice mail button and listened.
"Hi, Amber, honey. I just wanted to check in with you and make sure you were settled in. I watched you in the opening ceremonies. Your face looked a little full. You're not eating too much, are you? Are you getting to bed at a reasonable hour? I hope you're practicing a lot. Call me. Love you."
Amber rolled her eyes and deleted the message, then slid her phone across the kitchen counter, glaring at the phone as if it were the evil representation of her mother.
She got up and wandered into the bathroom, inspecting herself in the mirror.
"My face looked full. Thanks a lot, Mom."
Her face looked like it always did. She always thought she had a cute face. Heart shaped, with prominent cheeks and full lips. She pressed on her cheeks to see if they appeared any fuller. She pressed in again.
She looked okay, but then again--
"What the hell are you doing?"
She jerked, her heart pumping full blast as she turned around to see Lisa leaning against the door frame.
"Nothing."
"Didn't look like nothing."
She sighed. "My mother left me a voice mail and told me that during the opening ceremonies my face looked full."
Lisa rolled her eyes. "Your mother is a hypercritical bitch and she's full of shit. You're beautiful."
Amber laughed, leaning her butt against the bathroom counter. "Don't hold back, Lisa. Tell me how you really feel about my mother."
"I've already told you how I feel about your mother. I think she picks on you unnecessarily about every invisible flaw--that you don't have by the way. And she goes out of her way to make you feel bad about yourself. Don't let her do that to you, Amber. You have a banging body, and your face is perfect."
"I wasn't fishing for compliments, but that sure felt good and I needed it. So thank you."
"You're welcome. Feel free to return the favor."
"You're tall, blond, blue-eyed and breathtaking. And you're a stud on a snowboard."
Lisa grinned. "Too bad we're not gay, honey. We'd be perfect together."
Amber laughed. "We would, wouldn't we?"
"Yes. But alas, I like dick."
"So do I."
Lisa cast a critical look her way. "How would you know unless you tried one out?"
"Well, as it happens . . ."
"No. You didn't." Lisa's eyes widened. "You did? With Will?"
Amber nodded.
"Oh. My. God." Lisa grabbed her hands and dragged her out of the bathroom. "I want to know everything. Come on."
They went into the kitchen and pulled up the chairs at the kitchen island. Lisa fixed them glasses of iced tea, then slid one across to Amber.
"Okay, spill. Was it last night?"
Amber nodded.
"The party at Claude's was so crowded and I sorta got--uh--distracted with Blake."
"You? Distracted with a guy? That's so unlike you."
Lisa laughed. "Shut up. Anyway, I did go looking for you and figured you had left. But I thought you'd come back here. I didn't come back to the apartment last night."
Lisa was actually blushing. She never blushed when she hooked up with a guy. That was interesting.
"I didn't come back here, either."
"Ohh, so you stayed at his place. The plot thickens. So was it good?"
"It was very good. Like all-night-long good."
Lisa grabbed her hand. "Oh, honey I'm so glad. I was hoping the first time you hooked up it would be great for you."
"Thank you. It . . . exceeded all my expectations about sex."
"So even better than great, huh?"
"Well, I have no basis for comparison, but it was pretty mind-blowing."
"Awesome."
"Now about you. What was that blush on your cheeks when you were talking about Blake?"
"Oh, that? Nothing. You know, just another dick in a long line of dicks. They're all pretty much the same. As long as I get off, it's good."
Amber wasn't buying Lisa's casual brush-off. She knew her friend. Last time she really had brushed off guys. This time was different. "Uh-huh. This is me, Lisa. You know you can tell me anything."
Lisa hesitated and took a couple of sips of her iced tea. "Okay, fine. So I've been kind of hanging out with Blake."
"Obviously."
"He's from Vancouver like me, and he's on the ski team. And he's adorable and sweet and we've been kind of seeing each other."
Now it was Amber's turn to be shocked. "You mean seeing each other before th
e games?"
Lisa nodded. "Yes. For almost six months now."
This was a new side to her friend. "Wow. You never date."
"I know." Lisa slid off the barstool and slid her fingers through her hair. "It's bizarre. We met through someone on my half-pipe team. There was a get-together one night after a competition and we were all hanging out at a lodge. Blake and I just talked. I mean . . . we just talked, Amber. All night long."
"So what you're saying is you didn't hook up?"
"No. Not for like two weeks. He said he never wanted me to think he wanted me only for sex. He said he liked me and he thought we should get to know each other first. Which, you know, is so unlike most guys I've been with."
"Wow."
"Right? So anyway, we've kind of been together ever since."
Amber understood. "You like this guy, Lisa."
"Of course I do."
"No, I mean you really like this guy."
Lisa climbed back onto the barstool. "I don't know. He's so nice and, oh my God, so incredible looking. And he takes me out to dinner and we ski and snowboard together. He's like . . . perfect. Almost too perfect."
"So you're waiting for something awful because you don't think it can be this good?"
"Yes. I haven't had the best luck with relationships in the past. Which was why I decided to just use guys for sex."
Amber shrugged. "I'm the last person who would know anything about relationships, but maybe Blake's a nice, great-looking guy who likes you. Would that be so bad?"
"It wouldn't be bad at all. But you know me, Amber. I'm a free spirit who doesn't want to settle down."
"Except?"
Lisa laid her elbows on the table, then rested her face in her hands. "Except I might be in love with Blake. Which would be the worst thing ever."
Amber's heart squeezed. "Oh, honey. Would that be the worst thing that could happen to you?"
"What if he breaks my heart?"
She read the uncertainty and anguish on Lisa's face. They'd done a lot of talking four years ago, so she knew Lisa had gone through some bad relationships and equally rough breakups in the past. Trust was a big issue for her. "What if he doesn't? What if he makes you incredibly happy?"
Lisa opened her mouth to speak, then shut it again and stared at her. "I don't believe that'll happen."
"Maybe you should think about changing your belief system."
"It scares me. I've never felt this way about someone. I've never truly been in love before, Amber."
"Neither have I, but I can't imagine I'd run away from it if it happened."
"I just don't know. It might be the stress and pressure from the games, but the flight-or-fight syndrome feels like it's kicking in at the moment, and my first instinct is flight."
