AllFreeNovel
Share Us
"In front of you, no. In public, no. That's just not how your father and I operate. We prefer to keep our . . . passion for each other private."
She could tell how uncomfortable this conversation was for her mother. "I appreciate your honesty. And I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable."
"Profoundly uncomfortable. But it's important for you to understand that just because we don't show emotion doesn't mean we don't feel it. Your father and I love you very much, Amber. We always have."
Amber felt a swell of emotion. "Thank you. I love you, too, Mom. But I need you to know that skating isn't my entire life. I love it. But I don't know that I want to become a professional skater. And I'm not sure about the dance thing. And I think I have to fire you as my manager."
Her mother blinked. "Oh . . . okay. Why?"
"Because it's high time you and I have a mother-daughter relationship. I think I've reached a point in my life where I really need a mom."
Her mother's eyes welled with tears. "Very well, then. I can accept that and I will switch my focus in the future to giving motherly advice only."
Amber smiled. "Thank you."
"So tell me what happened between you and Will."
Now they were getting somewhere. For the first time, Amber had hope. Not that she thought her mother would give her good advice, but they were talking, and it wasn't all about skating, so they had a start.
They talked for a couple of hours, and then her mother left. They'd even hugged, and it was a genuine hug.
But she still had no answers for her misery about Will.
Maybe getting outside would help. It was cold, but it wasn't raining or snowing, so some fresh air might clear her head. She put on her coat and hat and grabbed her gloves and her purse, then took the elevator downstairs and went outside, joining the hum of humanity.
She walked briskly, keeping up with the flow of people going to and from--wherever they were going. They all walked with a sense of purpose and confidence, something she was decidedly lacking in.
These past couple of weeks had been utterly miserable. She was utterly miserable.
Even with the gold medal, she didn't enjoy skating anymore.
And, worse, she missed Will.
She lacked that sense of purpose, and her heart hurt. She'd had several conversations with Lisa since she'd gotten home. Lisa had invited her back to Vancouver, had told Amber she could come to her house and just chill and chat.
She'd been tempted, but that would be hiding. She couldn't hide from what she'd done. She had to face it.
She walked for a while until she ended up in Times Square, a bustling activity center for tourists. She found a place out of the way of pedestrian traffic and looked up at the video screens.
Something immediately caught her eye and she turned back to look at the news and sports screen, waiting for it to repeat. It took several minutes, but when it did, her heart leaped.
The St. Louis Ice were in town to play the New York Travelers tonight. Which meant Will was here.
She pulled out her phone.
Don't do it. You already hurt him.
What would it accomplish to see him? To hurt him even more? Or could she repair the damage she'd done?
She walked for over an hour before sending the text message, knowing she had to do it. Because she'd made a huge mistake in Vancouver.
And she had to make it right.
THIRTY-THREE
WILL STARED AT THE TEXT MESSAGE, UNABLE TO BELIEVE he and Amber had found themselves in the same city at the same time.
She was performing at Madison Square Garden tonight. She asked if he'd be willing to see her. She wanted to talk.
What the hell did they have left to talk about? She'd made her feelings clear in Vancouver. She didn't feel it with him.
But, God, he missed her. You didn't fall out of love with someone you were in love with overnight. Those feelings were still there, and his heart jumped when her name came up on the message.
Meeting with her would be stupid. He could get over her faster if he just cut ties.
But maybe he needed to say good-bye. He'd been so shocked by what she said in Vancouver that all he could think to do was walk away.
He shouldn't do it. More good-byes would only hurt more.
Yeah, but he was an adult, and this wasn't his first breakup. The only way to get through saying good-bye to someone you loved was to actually say good-bye, to close that door for good.
He could handle it. And then he could move on.
He texted her back letting her know he'd be at Madison Square Garden tonight, and he'd meet with her after her performance.
He got in touch with the ticket center and reserved a ticket.
Then he sucked in a breath.
Okay, man. Time to say good-bye.
THIRTY-FOUR
WILL SAT IN THE CROWD AND WATCHED AS ALL THE skaters--some of them his friends--performed.
Telisa and Robbie made an incredible pair, on and off the ice. They were amazing and the love they had for each other showed in their skating.
Brandon put on a hell of a show, too. So did Rory and Tia, and hell, he liked all of these people. It was great to see them all again.
When Amber came out, he couldn't help but feel that squeeze of pain in his chest. But hell if she didn't look like the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Her hair was up tonight, and she looked like a mermaid in her multicolored skating outfit, all blue and green and purple. Like a siren, she called to the audience, mesmerizing everyone with the way she moved, her jumps so damn perfect he wondered how she did them.
But something was different tonight, something that wasn't there the night she won the medal. She lacked that passion, that love and energy he'd felt when he'd watched her in Vancouver.
Obviously no one else noticed it because the audience cheered like crazy for her, which was good.
But there had definitely been something lacking.
After it was over, he went backstage and gave his name. Amber had texted him and told him she'd have a backstage pass for him. Security gave him the pass and he strung it around his neck, then followed the guard's instructions and made his way down the hall and to the right to Amber's dressing room.
He sucked in a breath and knocked on the door.
She opened the door, her face scrubbed clean from all the glitter and eyeliner and lipstick she wore when she performed. She wore a flowered robe that showcased her legs.
"Hi, Will."
He nodded. "Amber."
"Come on in."
He walked in and she closed the door.
"Thanks for coming."
He turned to face her. "You looked good tonight."
"Thanks."
This was so awkward, but he was here, so . . . "Your performance was off."
She cocked her head to the side. "It was? How so?"
"It lacked passion. It's like you didn't put all of yourself into it or something. It wasn't anything like your skate that night in Vancouver."
She sank onto the chair. "You're right. I don't feel it anymore. I haven't since the night you and I--"
He went over and sat next to her. "Why?"
"Why what? Why don't I feel it anymore?"
"I guess."
He heard her sigh. "I don't know, Will. I guess that night in Vancouver I was inspired. You'd told me you loved me. I skated with my heart filled with love. And now it's not there anymore."
He let out a short laugh. "You ended things with me, Amber."
"I know. And I need to be honest with you about that. It wasn't because I didn't have feelings for you. I did--I do. I still do. I was just afraid that we'd end up like your last relationship."
"What do you mean?"
"We were talking about doing the long distance thing. And that's what blew up your relationship before, because it didn't work out."
It finally dawned on him. "Oh. So you thought we'd end up the same way."
"Yes. I'm so sorry. I didn't want to hurt you. I thought if I ended things with you then, I could spare you being hurt again down the road."
"You know you and I aren't like my last relationship."
"I know that. But I was afraid and I thought you'd end up hurt. That we'd end up hurting each other, and I didn't want that." She shuddered out a sigh and he saw the tears in her eyes. "I made a mess of everything. I hurt you, I hurt myself. God, I've missed you so much. I love you, Will. I just don't know how we could have made this work."
He should be pissed. But how could he be when all she'd done was try to avoid hurting him. "Okay, a couple of things. First, don't ever lie to me about how you feel ever again."
"Okay."
"Second, the reason my last relationship ended was because neither of us was that heavily invested in making it work. That's what love is all about, Amber. When you find that person you want to be with, you'll move mountains to make it work."
"Oh."
"And third, you never gave us a chance to try."
He saw how hard she was fighting to hold the tears back.
"I'm so sorry. You're right. I totally screwed this up and all I ask is for you to forgive me. I don't expect you to want to be with me. I just want you to understand why I did it. It wasn't out of malice, and God, I did love you. I do love you."
