“Time?” I say, my voice rising slightly. “It’s been four months. And I’ve been out of work for four months.”
I sigh, my shoulders sagging with the weight of my thoughts. “I get it. Most women, especially the way the world works outside of Wintermoon, would be overly grateful for the position I’m in.”
He grips my hips and sits up so his face is inches from mine. “There’s nothing wrong with longing for what you had before, Jackie.” His eyes bore into mine. “If I could give you back what you left behind for me, all of it, I would. And I’m trying. I just need a little more?—“
“Time,” I finish for him, resigned.
He presses his forehead to mine, and I close my eyes at the contact.
“I was lost before I found you,” he murmurs. “Your scent, your sweet honey scent gave me hope, gave my bear hope.” His hands slide up to cup my face. “I’m sorry that I’ve been overbearing. If you could understand how much it means to have you. You are everything to me.”
“I do know that,” I whisper.
“Then let me hold you,” he says. “I want to feel your warmth.”
He lies back on the bed and I shift, draping myself across his chest with my head tucked under his chin. His arms wrap around me, holding me close, and I feel like the luckiest woman in the world, having a shifter who loves me no matter what.
But as I listen to the steady beat of his heart, that nagging emptiness still persists. Four months into clan life, and I still feel like I’m searching for something. The women of the clan have welcomed me with open arms, but I can’t relate to their contentment with being homemakers. They seem completely fulfilled by their roles as mates and future mothers.
Even Jewel, despite understanding my need for more, doesn’t fully grasp my drive. She’s happy with her pregnancy,with taking care of the clan, with supporting Silas. She’s found her purpose.
I’m still looking for mine in Wintermoon.
I wonder what Jabari’s been working on. He won’t tell me, and the secrecy bothers me, but I trust him. I have to. He’s given me no reason not to.
So I’ll wait. A few more months, he said.
But this time, I’m holding him to it.
20
JABARI
The Spa—One Week Later
Jackie slaps my chest playfully as we approach the entrance to the spa, but I catch her hand mid-motion as her lips part, taking me in.
I’ve made an effort with my appearance today—my beard is trimmed and shaped, my hair neat, clothes clean and actually fitting my frame properly.
The dark green henley she picked out for me brings out the color of my eyes, and the jeans are a far cry from the baggy, worn ones I used to prefer.
The morning air is cool and refreshing, with a faint scent of pine. Around us, Wintermoon is gradually stirring—other shifters acknowledging each other as they go about their day, some heading to the market, others to their various tasks within the community.
I’ve come to understand that my personal presentation carries weight, not just with Jackie, but with everyone in Wintermoon. My growing respect from the community has boosted my confidence, a change I hadn’t noticed until recently.
My bear stirs with pride when Jackie’s eyes linger on me, her approval evident in the slight catch of her breath. It’s a small thing, but these moments feel like miracles—the way she looks at me, touches me, chooses me every day.
“Let me try this,” she says, gesturing toward the spa entrance.
“I will not fight with you about this,” I tell her, keeping my voice gentle. “I know you need this, for your independence.”
I lean down and steal a kiss from her lips, savoring the taste of her—honey and warmth and home. My bear rumbles with displeasure inside me at the thought of being separated from our mate, especially in a place we’re forbidden to enter. The spa is meant to give the women space from us shifters, a respite where they can relax without our hovering presence. My bear hates every aspect of it, clawing at my insides with growing agitation.
I smile when I spot Silas standing nearby, looking as lost as I feel. Jewel has just casually walked into the spa, and my brother’s expression is one of pure abandonment. His shoulders are slightly slumped, hands shoved deep in his pockets as if he doesn’t know what to do with them now that they’re not holding his mate.
He hates being separated from her too, especially now that she’s carrying his cub. The protective instincts in male shifters grow stronger when our mates are pregnant, making the separation even more difficult.
Jackie reaches up to gently stroke my cheek, her touch sending warmth through me. Then she looks over to Silas.
