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He’d seen me naked before, but somehow standing in a shower and lying in a bed might as well have been two different planets because the embarrassment and uncertainty and rush of dizziness I was feeling couldn’t all have been from hitting my head.
I covered my breasts with my arms and shut my eyes tightly as if I couldn’t see him looking at my naked body then it wasn’t happening.
“Are you covering up because you’re embarrassed or because you don’t think I’ll like what I see?” Finn asked. He wasn’t teasing. He wasn’t mocking. And
when I opened my eyes to meet his, all I saw was sincerity and concern etched on his face.
“Both,” I admitted, feeling my entire body turn red.
Finn gently pushed against my shoulders so I’d lay back down against the pillow. It smelled like him. Clean and woodsy.
He unbuttoned my shorts and hooked his fingers in the elastic of my panties. “Don’t be embarrassed,” he said, which had the opposite effect, making me squirm inside my skin. “Because you’re beautiful.” He wriggled the material over my hips and butt and tossed the wet garments on top of my shirt. “All of you is beautiful.” I glanced up at him to find Finn’s gaze was between my legs. “And I can assure you that I like what I see. Very much.” He cleared his throat. “Too much.”
Finn’s words seemed to help me feel slightly more at ease. Well, his words and the blanket he covered me with. I turned to my side and he was quiet. So quiet I’d thought he’d left the room until the mattress dipped and cool air hit my backside from the blanket being lifted.
“What are you doing?” I croaked, feeling panicked yet again. I glanced over to find Finn tossing his wet shorts to the floor.
“Making sure you don’t fall asleep.”
“You can’t do that from the other side of the room?” I asked, scooting as far over to the edge of the bed as I could. “With clothes on?”
“Of course, I can,” Finn said; reaching out and grabbing me by the waist he dragged me backward across the bed until I was flush against his hard body. I don’t know if it was because it felt so good and I’d been so cold, or because of my head injury, but I found myself closing my eyes and momentarily enjoying the feeling of his warm skin. “But isn’t this better?”
His hard body against my softer one.
Yes, yes it was.
Finn snaked his hand around my hips, resting it on my lower stomach. A thought flashed through my muddled brain. My eyes sprang open.
“You’re not…” I started.
“Calm yourself. Unwilling girls aren’t really my thing,” Finn said, sounding offended.
“It’s not like I would know that you weren’t trying to…” I stopped, not sure which word to use or even if I wanted to use one at all.
“FUCK you,” he finished for me. “It’s not like you would know that I wasn’t trying to FUCK you.”
“Yes. THAT.”
“You wouldn’t have a single doubt in your mind if I really was trying to fuck you tonight.”
“Oh,” I said, both relieved and disappointed. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure,” Finn said, his breath warm against my neck.
My nipples were hardened due to the curious sensations coursing through my body.
“Is there a difference between beautiful and attractive?”
Finn didn’t answer at first. I’d finally resolved that he’d decided to stop talking to me when he spoke. “Yes. But it can also be the same.”
“How is that?” I asked, feeling his heartbeat speed up against my back.
“There are two kinds of beauty. At least to me there are. The other day I saw an old woman on the side of the road selling mangos. She had silver hair and no teeth, but the biggest smile on her face. Her eyes were bright blue and lit up any time a customer stopped to buy a mango. I thought she was beautiful.”
He traced slow lazy circles on my lower stomach and I shivered.
Fin pulled the blanket up higher. “Better?” he asked.
“Yes,” I replied, although my shiver wasn’t from being cold.
“So what’s the second kind of beauty?”
“The kind you can’t stop looking at no matter how hard you try.” Finn lowered his mouth so his lips moved against the tip of my ear when he spoke. “The kind you want to fuck.”
I swallowed. “What does that kind of beauty look like?” I asked, breathlessly.
Finn’s hand rose on my stomach until his fingers lightly grazed the underside of one of my breasts. “Right now it looks like freckled skin and gold flecked eyes.”
I gasped.
“Now it’s my turn to ask you a question,” Finn started. “How old are you?”
“Twenty-one.”
“Where did you…”
A bolt of lightning chose that moment to light up the window followed by thunder so loud it might as well have come from inside. I flinched and started to shake all over again.
“I’m…I’m afraid of storms,” I admitted. “I guess after what happened tonight I should be.”
Finn held me tighter. “It’s called Astraphobia,” he said, out of nowhere.
“Wha…what?” I asked, opening my eyes and blinking rapidly when I realized he was shaking me. I must have drifted off.
“Stay with me,” Finn said, his voice smoothing over my body like a healing salve. “Astraphobia is the fear of thunder and lightning. That’s what it’s called.”
“How do you know that?”
“Someone I used to know had it pretty bad,” Finn’s breath tickled my neck. “I used to tease her about it relentlessly, thinking she was just being a baby until I looked it up at the library and realized it was a real thing.”
Another particularly brutal series of lightning strikes flashed like machine gun fire. Possessed by fear, I tried to leap from the bed, but Finn pulled me down and pinned me to the mattress.
With a grunt, Finn flipped me around so I was facing him, and when I tried to pull away again he did the last thing I ever expected him to do.
He kissed me.
Chapter Nineteen
Finn
I am so fucked.
Chapter Twenty
Sawyer
