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Josh made a move to leave, but spun back around and narrowed her eyes at Miller. “And YOU. You’ve had nothing BUT time. Ten goddamn years to be exact. And all you’ve managed to do in over a decade is occasionally break my fucking heart. I’m done.”
“Josh, stop. Please,” Miller begged, reaching out for her again.
She shook him off. “No! Not this time. I tossed my heart away when I fell in love with you when we were kids. I’m not going to make that mistake again. I can’t wait for you to grow up anymore.”
Josh took off in her truck, spinning mud high into the air as she left.
Miller stood on the porch like he was in a daze, gaping after her.
It was the first time I’d seen him stand still. “I think I fucked up,” Miller said to no one in particular, staring off at the trees as if he were still looking at Josh’s truck which was long gone.
“It sure seems that way,” Finn said, shifting me so he could close his jeans and pulling down his shirt to cover the wetness. I stood up and adjusted my dress while Finn went over to Miller and clapped him on the shoulder. “What did you do?”
“It’s more like what didn’t I do.” Miller flashed me the saddest smile. “I can’t lose her.” His voice was broken and cracked.
“So, don’t,” Finn said. “Fight for her.”
“I will. I have to get her back.” Miller’s eyes widened with his epiphany. His shoulders squared, his spine straightened.
“Did you ever really have her?” Finn asked. “Because I know I’ve been out of the loop for a while, but I’ll be honest. I’m confused as fuck right now.”
Miller sighed. “Dude, we’ve been fucking for over a decade. She’s my GIRL,” he said, defensively.
I leaned against his shoulder. “But does Josh know that?”
Miller scoffed. “Of course, she…” He paused and ran both hands through his hair, lacing his fingers together on the top of his head. “Shit,” he cursed.
Suddenly he was airborne, hopping over the porch rail. “She’s about to find the fuck out!” he called back with newfound determination.
“See you guys later. It really was a great dinner, Sawyer!” Miller drove off, fishtailing through the mud.
“You think whatever he’s planning is going to work?” I asked Finn.
He wrapped his arms around my waist from behind, resting his chin on my shoulder. “I’d bet on him taking a bullet before I’d bet on their happily ever after. But what the hell do I know?”
“I hope you’re wrong.” I leaned back into him.
Finn sighed and kissed my temple. “I hope I am too.”
Chapter Thirty-Five
Sawyer
Mist rose like steam off the damp ground like it was making an offering to the sky. A prayer for night to become morning once again. The sun answered by rising slowly until its rays burst from behind the tallest of trees, bathing everything in its blessing of light and warmth.
Turning the dark into light once again.
It was while looking at that kind of beauty, that kind of wondrous creation when I couldn’t NOT believe in something or someone more of a higher power.
Church wasn’t something I had any plans on stepping foot in again, but I would kneel at the altar of the sound of the birds singing their early morning song, the splash of fish in the water of the swamp behind Finn’s house, the smell of the moss dripping from the trees.
I shifted the box I was carrying and took a deep breath, absorbing all that an early morning in Outskirts had to offer.
“What kind of festival is this?” I asked Josh who seemed lost in her own thoughts as well.
“You’ll see. But does it even matter?” Josh was practically skipping. “I don’t have to wear my uniform today and the sun’s out. That’s a win for today. I’ll take it.”
“What about Mill…”
Josh stopped abruptly. “No. We will not talk about him today. I’m not going to let him ruin it for me.” She started walking again and I followed. “Is Finn coming?”
I shook my head. “I don’t think so. When I mentioned the festival, he kissed me.”
Josh raised an eyebrow.
“It’s his way of distracting me or changing the subject,” I clarified. “But he seems off. He’s been protective. More than before. He doesn’t want me being alone.”
“Maybe he just wants you with him?”
I shook my head. “I don’t think that’s it. It’s okay if I’m with you or Critter or even Miller but he gets that pained look in his eye whenever I say I’m doing something alone.”
“Maybe he’s afraid you’re going to run off,” Josh pointed out. “You came into town like a leaf on the wind. Maybe he’s just afraid you’re going to leave that way too.”
“Maybe…” I said, thinking that there had to be more to it than that.
“Soooo…have you two…” Josh trailed off, pressing her lips together.
“What?” I asked.
“Have you two had…”
I waited for her to finish, but she continued to stare at me expectantly. Finally, she took the box from my hand and looked me in the eye. She spoke clearly and matter-of-factly. “Have you and Finn had sexual intercourse?”
My ears and neck burned. “Uh…” I shifted from foot to foot looking anywhere but at Josh.
“I’ll take that as a no.” Josh started walking again. She dropped off the box in front of one of the many vendor tents lining Main Street. “I wasn’t asking to embarrass you,” she paused. “Listen, I’ve never had a sister and my mom’s version of sexual advice was ‘keep your pants on.’” She chuckled. “I just wanted to let you know that if you have any questions about sex or about anything that I’m here for you, kind of like the sister you never had and probably never wanted.”
“Thanks,” I said, laughing with her. I felt lighter. Josh had become more than just a person who was kind to me. “I already think of you as family.”
“Ditto,” Josh smiled, hooking her arm through mine. “Now let’s hurry up and help Bebe set up so we can have ourselves some fun.”
Vendor tents and tables lined Main Street for a quarter mile in both directions. A banner was being hoisted over the street. When it fully unfolded I laughed at what it said.
“Outskirts Festival of the Swamp Yeti?” I asked, glancing to Josh.
“Yep,” Josh shrugged. “It’s a tradition. People come from all over the state. The food is great. The beer is cold and the music usually isn’t horrible either.” She pointed to a simple stage blocking the end of the road. The street in front was left open. An elderly couple was already sitting in folding chairs watching the men set up instruments and lighting on the stage.
The festival wasn’t set to start for at least another hour but Josh had promised Bebe she’d help set up her stand so I tagged along. Bebe looked relieved when we showed up to help and she quickly put us to work setting up a miniature version of her store, complete with clothes alongside her homemade soaps and jams.
Josh turned to sli
p an empty box under the table of Bebe’s booth and knocked right into someone dressed from head to toe in dark brown fur. “I see you came to my festival today young lady. Are you ready to worship your swamp Yeti god?”
