“I missed it. Not enough to move back into my parents’ house after college, but enough to settle down in Miami.”
My fingers trail over lace as I ponder his words. Diego knows what this world is like. He’s found a way to make peace with it, a way to be himself and still have a relationship with his family on his own terms.
Maybe he can teach me how.
“Are you going back to New York after this?” His tone is hesitant.
“I don’t know anymore,” I murmur. “When I got here, I had every intention of leaving after the wedding was done. But now, I don’t know.”
“Why?”
I shift my shoulders, the conversation making me feel restless. “I went to New York to hide. To heal from burnout. But it took coming back to Isla Bruja to begin healing. And I think I’m done hiding.”
“Because your magic is back?”
“Actually, I don’t think it ever really went away.”
“No?”
I touch my chest. “It was protecting me.”
“How so?” He sounds genuinely curious.
“You know, the very first time I enchanted an outfit, it was for Caro to wear to a school dance. I did it because it was fun, a challenging way to stretch my powers.”
“I remember. You have an incredible skill, Cat.”
“Thanks. But the attention she got flowed over onto me, and I threw myself into designing more looks for my mom and my sisters. The orders came pouring in.”
“It’s a heady feeling. Hard to give up.”
“It was.” I’d reveled in it. Until the cost became too high.
“In school, I was focused on being number one,” I explain. “But after we graduated, I needed a new goal. I was already seeing my family’s status rise through my design work, so that became my focus. To help my family get to the top.”
He nods. “I understand the impulse. Our society is all about family reputation and collective power.”
“Exactly. It became like an obsession. With every creation, I was trying to outdo the one I’d made before. It wasn’t healthy, though. And I think my magic cut me off to protect me, to force me to reevaluate what’s truly important.”
“And what’s that?”
“Me. My own health and happiness. I felt a lot of pressure, and while some came from my family and some from the people speculating about what I’d come up with next, a lot of that pressure came from me.”
“Why do you think that was?”
“It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out. I just...never felt good enough. I thought, if I could be the best at what I did, then I could finally relax. But how could I do that when I kept moving the goal posts?”
“Cat.” He holds my gaze with those soulful brown eyes. “Please believe me when I say you are and have always been enough.”
“I...I think I’m starting to realize that now. It’s going to take more time to sink in, though.”
“Take all the time you need. It took me a while to figure out how to have both, to do what I wanted, but still navigate my place within my family.”
“It helps to know you’ve done it.”
“We can work on it together.” He’s quiet for a moment. “And New York? I’ll be honest, I’ve been following your career and it doesn’t look like you slowed down.”
“I didn’t. It’s hard to admit that, but I just found a new area to excel in. So what if I didn’t have my magic? I’d find my place in the human fashion industry and do my best to reach the top there.” I pause and shake my head. “I went there to heal, but I never stopped working. I was still hiding. From myself. You know, these last few days have been the longest vacation I’ve had in two years.”
