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"Empress, tell him about Richter's other ally! Ol' Jackie boy will get a kick out of this. And by kick, I mean stroke."
As I reluctantly relayed the highlights of my partnership with Sol, the muscle in Jack's jaw ticked overtime. "Lemme get this straight: he made Baggers dine on you?"
"He also saved our lives from Zara and Richter."
Joules said, "We were in Death's truck, running from quakes. Didn't know we were headed right for a blown-out bridge and would've eaten it for certain. But Sol had his Baggers show us a safer route. You haven't lived till you've seen a Bagger hitchhiking with his thumb out."
True. "Sol's sense of humor is one of the reasons I liked him."
Jack's expression darkened. "And I bet he liked you too."
"Not in that way. He's a big flirt, but his heart is taken." By two. The tragedy of his love life rivaled mine. "Besides, I was so frantic to save you, I was on my worst Empress behavior with him. I'm surprised he could forgive me."
Jack asked, "How do you know which Baggers are . . . helpful? Which ones are under Sol's control?"
"I don't. Odds are against it. He can only sense through a limited number of them at a time, and only when he's awake."
"Like Lark with her animal sentries."
"Exactly," I said, even as I wished Jack didn't have to be versed in this deadly world I'd dragged him into. Arcana insanity.
Joules nodded at the cooking meat. "Looks ready. Let's see if the Empress can keep this down--"
"Because it's really exotic food," I quickly added.
Kentarch cocked his head at me, probably wondering why I hadn't confessed about the baby.
Jack took my skewer from me to blow on it before handing it back. "This'll be good. Good for you too."
I took my first exploratory bite. Lion meat tasted like a cross between pork and beef. "Not bad." Even as Joules and Kentarch chowed down, they kept their eyes on me, as if expecting me to hurl.
But my stomach welcomed this meal like a long-lost love. I dug in, ravenous.
We all did. Jack rolled his eyes with pleasure. Joules had grease smeared over his cheek.
Regeneration fired throughout my body. Aches and pains dwindled as I healed. Energy filled me. Lion meat; who knew?
"Another round of skewers?" Joules asked.
"Absolutely," Kentarch said. "We'll save the rest. If we ration it, we'll have meat for a few days."
After our third helping, I grew sated and warm for the first time in weeks. Jack was here with me, and the future wasn't nearly so bleak.
"Your color's returning, peekon. Amazing what one meal can do. How're your powers? Come on, flex for me."
Joules laughed. "Yeah, Empress, show us some vines." Asshole. "Maybe some after-dinner strawberries?"
"My powers have been a little wonky lately." Changing the subject, I said, "Did Matthew tell you where to find me?"
"Non. I knew you were at Dominija's castle, but he refused to come off the location before he ditched. He did leave me a message though, wrote it in soot. I figured if he took the trouble to write it, I should memorize it." Clearing his throat, Jack said, "The Flash taught them that all dreams are nightmares. They became bad dreamers. All hail the bad dreamers as good."
"What does that mean? Who's he talking about?"
"You're asking me?" Jack sipped his flask.
"So where had you been heading?"
"Up to Azey North."
"To lead them?" That would make sense. As their general once more, he would've been able to recruit scouts to help search for me.
Yet he shook his head. "I just wanted to show my face, me. Not slink away like some coward."
"Wait a minute. You weren't trying to find me?"
Jack scrubbed a palm over his nape. "Matthew told me you were safe with Dominija and your grand-mere. I wanted you to move on with your life."
I couldn't get enough air. "You were going to let me believe that . . . that you were dead?"
Kentarch stood. "We will allow you two to speak in private."
"Feck that!" Joules said. "We're just getting to the popcorn moment."
Kentarch collared him and escorted him out.
Once we were alone again, Jack said, "I was goan to let you live in peace in that stronghold, the one Dominija made sure to describe to me, the one with all the comforts I could never give you."
"Remember how you and I talked about being a team? I asked you not to make decisions all on your own for both of us. But that's what you did!"
"Matthew showed me visions of you in the aftermath of the massacre. I saw--no, I experienced--what you went through to bring me back. I felt you breaking for me, and I couldn't let that happen again."
Had he seen me rocking Tess's skeletal corpse? "It wasn't your decision to make."
"I wanted food and warmth and safety for you. I could only give you more Ash. Hell, I figured I'd be dead soon anyway, so why upset you more? Evie, you looked like you were dancing on a razor's edge."
I had been.
"Coo-yon took me to the graves you made for me and pauvre defunte Selena." Dearly departed. "He told me you were goan to make your way with Dominija. I wanted that for you, no matter how much the idea twisted me up inside me."
Jack loved me more than he loved his own life. I'd known that, but it'd never been so apparent as now.
"I told Matthew to keep my survival secret and let me stay buried."
"Well, he didn't. More than a month ago, he sent me a message of your voice. I thought you might . . . I prayed you'd survived."
"What the hell's he playing at?" Then, seeming to steel himself, he said, "Knowing what I did then, I'd still make the same choice."
My lips parted. "How can you say that?"
"Before the Hanged Man, you had to have been happy with the Reaper. You wear his ring."
"I walled off part of my heart." I'd loved Aric, but it must've been muted by my pain, by the tourniquet I'd used to keep from bleeding out. Twist, tighten, constrict. "I could never give him all of my heart--and he knew that. He thought my powers were suffering because I never fully grieved you." Holding Jack's gaze, I said, "I chose you."
"And you shouldn't have!" He threw a rock into the fire. "Doan you get it? You were goan to have Death either way--either you'd be with the Reaper or you'd die out here with me."
"I'm out here with you now. Of course, you're probably just passing by. At least I'll get to say good-bye this time."
Jack looked at me like I'd just blasphemed. "I woan rest until you're safely out of the Ash. Which means I'll do whatever it takes to get you ba
ck into that castle."
"Even try to defeat Death?"
Hesitation. "Matthew told me the Reaper saved your life when Richter struck. That true?"
I nodded.
"When I was in that slaver hellhole, fearing I'd gotten you killed, I told myself that Dominija is fast with strong senses. I told myself that he would have ridden out and rescued you from Richter. I think that was the only reason I didn't lose my mind down there."
"He did save me. I was running into the fire when he caught me and yanked me back at the edge."
Jack flinched. "I'm torn. I want to kill Dominija for hurting you. But how can I when he saved your life?"
I'm torn too. I was pissed that Jack continued to make unilateral decisions, but I also realized that Matthew had manipulated him for his own reasons. Jack would've been sick and exhausted--his confidence rocked to the core by the massacre--when Matthew had struck a blow as well. Still . . . "You were really going to let me believe you died. You were never going to see me again."
"Noble cuts like a blade to the heart." He raked his fingers through his thick black hair. "I wanted to do right by you, but all I did was put you back in the Ash. I left you with a man who would try to murder you just months later."
One who'd knocked me up--then tried to murder me. "The things I did to bring you back . . ."
"I couldn't have stopped you, no, couldn't have communicated with you. I was trapped in that mine."
He was right. I exhaled, unable to maintain my anger over Jack's choice. It was a sacrifice born from love. Matthew's actions, however--
Riiiinnnnngggg. The phone sounded from outside.
Kentarch jogged back in. "It's him."
Joules was on his heels, sparking angrily. "I got some choice words to say to that fecker. And to the Hanged Man."
Surprised to feel my claws tingling, I snapped, "Let it ring." Beg, Aric? Beg?
Kentarch raised his brows. The phone eventually fell silent.
Then . . . Riiiinnnnngggg. Aric wasn't going to stop.
"Oh, fine. I'll get it." I accepted the phone and connected the call. "This is Evie speaking. How can I help you?"
Aric's raspy voice carried over the line: "How long have you known he lived?"
"I got my first wave of hope on the night we picked up Finn. Matthew contacted me. My nose bled from his message."
"And you felt no need to reveal that to your husband? Yet more evidence that our relationship was not what you pretended it to be."
"I'd planned to tell you everything after Paul's banishment. But that doesn't matter. What matters is that Jack is alive, and he brought us a feast."
