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"Conflicted. You?"
"Same. Granted, he's handy to have on our side. But this has got to be messing with your mind. I doan know that I could sit beside someone who'd recently tried to off me."
And who'd succeeded in the past. "The red witch wasn't exactly a fan of Aric's before he nearly skewered me, and she's not discerning. If she slips the leash . . ."
"I sure would miss him."
Smartass Cajun. "Part of me wants to hurt him for everything I've been forced to endure. But not like she would. Never like that."
Jack sighed. "Still in love with two."
"I wish I wasn't. I really do."
He gruffly said, "Whenever we get started together, he always rides in and rips us apart. We had a good thing goan before he came along."
Good thing? Jubilee could never have lasted. But the castle was life support, the spaceship on the surface of the moon. And Paul now ruled over it.
Did the Hanged Man sleep in the room I'd shared with Aric? Bile rose in my throat. What if he tried something with Lark? Mind-controlling her into his bed? "Jack, we're going to figure everything out. But first I've got to take Paul down. You won't talk me out of it, and I won't let you go in my place."
"We'll see about that." He brushed his scarred knuckles over my cheek. "I'd kiss you to take your mind off things, but I made you a promise not to pressure you. Considering how you respond to me, well, it wouldn't even be fair to the Reaper."
My lips twitched. "Very big of you."
"If you knew how bad I want more of what we enjoyed . . ." He leaned in to nuzzle my ear, his stubble giving me shivers. "This is a sacrifice without equal. Woman, you turned me inside out."
I sucked in a breath. "Mutual."
Snow crunched outside. Considering how quiet Aric could be, he must be purposely making noise. Can't stand to see us together? Should've decided to come take my icon sooner.
Jack pulled back from me, exhaling with disappointment. "Returned already?"
Aric had two bags in hand and Jack's bow slung over his armored shoulder. I braced against the cold as he climbed in the truck. He handed me my bag, then tossed Jack's stuff to him. "Your take is impressive, mortal."
Jack seemed surprised and reluctantly pleased by the praise. "Kentarch made it possible."
I pulled on gloves, a hat, a scarf, and a thicker parka. "But it was Jack's idea." Because of him, I now had a bounty of clothes.
"I doan like to keep all my eggs in one basket." Jack dragged on gear as well, then shouldered his bow. "We'll pack up the Beast before we leave, take some of our windfall with us."
Aric said, "The snow is deep, making the trail treacherous. I can carry her faster than she can hike." He pulled off his gauntlets. In readiness? He wouldn't feel the temperature as we would, and he'd probably take the cold just to have fewer layers between me and him.
Jack didn't like that a bit. "Or I can carry her." With his bad leg and my extra weight?
"Come, sieva." Aric offered his hand--as he had when he'd leaned out of the castle window, coaxing me closer.
I stared at his hand, wanting to tell him I didn't need his help. But didn't I? I'd slept for what felt like a dozen hours but was still exhausted, and I was starving again. When I'd trekked from this cave weeks ago, I'd needed Joules's help to make it to the road.
"Peekon?"
"I'll be okay." Lips pursed, I took Aric's hand.
He upped the ante. "I'd like to talk to you inside. Alone. Mortal, you may take your time."
I glanced at Jack. "I might as well get this over with."
Tick, tick, tick.
Before Jack could say anything, Aric drew me into his arms, then swept me from the truck into the freezing night.
I didn't know where to hold on to him. He had no such problems; one of his hands gently grasped my waist, the other palming the back of one thigh. He carried me as if nothing had happened between us, as if he'd just swooped me up to take me to bed.
Was he getting his fix? The thought made me shiver.
He mistook my reaction. "Almost there, love. It will be warm by the fire."
Though I was nervous to be this close to him, my body remembered his. Even with his armor, we fit. I still felt our soul-deep bond, could almost hear that endless wave along the shore.
As soon as the thought arose, I recalled his snide tone as he'd said, "By all the gods your tears cheer me."
On the way inside, we passed those lion bones. I'd never forget the taste of that meat. How desperate I'd been for it . . .
When we entered the firelit cave, my lips parted at the treasure trove of supplies. Food. Full gas cans. Fireplace logs and wood furniture to burn.
Though proud of the guys' haul, my surroundings rattled me. Too many memories lingered here. My gaze darted from one area to the next.
That patch of dirt was where I'd passed out, wondering if I'd ever wake up.
That rock shelf was where I'd contemplated drinking Kentarch's blood. Our friend was missing, aching for his beloved wife, and probably insane.
Beside that fire pit was where I'd eaten cat food. A couple of empty cans remained in a trash pile off to the side.
"You can put me down," I said, my tone sharp.
He crossed to the fire, then set me on my feet. "As you wish," he replied, ever gallant.
Pulling off my gloves, I took a seat by the flames and held my hands out to the heat. "You wanted to talk."
His gaze fell on my left hand. "You no longer wear my ring?" I thought he bit the inside of his cheek; regretting his opening line?
I pulled the ring out of my pocket and offered it back. "Maybe I should have destroyed it in retaliation. If you knew how much time and effort I spent crafting yours . . ."
"I can only imagine. I grieve it." He reached for my hand, closing my fingers around the ring. The contact of our skin made his voice grow raspy as he said, "Please honor me by keeping this for now."
I feigned an uncaring shrug, then pocketed it again.
Clearing his throat, he said, "You haven't made one for Jack?" He probably hated how hopeful he sounded.
"Been a little busy," I lied. I'd had far too much time in the tin can, but a part of me must've held out hope that I'd get Aric back. And a girl couldn't be committed to two guys. Right?
When I thought back over the last few weeks, I felt a fresh wave of sadness. I'd mistrusted Jubilee, hated being confined, but at least I'd had Jack by my side.
Talking every night. The warmth of his arms around me as the storms raged. Tee fluttering under his hand until Jack swore he could almost feel him.
My eyes widened. Tee. I'd grown so sensitive to his movements that I always woke, but I hadn't awakened for hours and hours in the truck. He still hadn't fluttered at all?
I reached up to touch my head. The knot was gone, but it'd been severe. And I'd bled a lot. How much can this kid take?
Aric glanced at the cave entrance and back. Feeling pressured for time? "You told me on the phone that you would choose me if I came for you. Did you mean that?"
"At the time, I did. I know you won't believe this, but Jack and I never got together before two nights ago."
"I do believe you. Why wouldn't I?"
"Because you've considered me a lying 'harlot' for longer than you haven't."
He flinched. "What made you decide to . . . take that step with Deveaux after waiting so long?"
"It doesn't matter why."
"Do you intend to be with him? I know you two had planned a future before Richter's massacre."
I gazed at the fire, couldn't even think about that now. "I don't know what will happen." What had Aric said? The future is fluid.
He sat beside me. "Talk to me, please."
Really? Be careful what you wish for. "I hope I didn't overstep when I promised Joules that you would help him and Gabe once we took back the castle--your home. If not for the Tower, I would have been eaten alive by wolves before Kentarch ever had a chance to rescue us. You remembe
r that, don't you? When you stood on that rise, ready to watch your pregnant wife be slaughtered."
His eyes were stark.
"But then, you didn't believe I was knocked up. You believed it was just more of my Empress conniving."
"When I left the sphere and my thoughts became my own again, I realized that you were out here, starving, and with child . . . our child . . . ." His voice grew ragged. "I relived all I did to you. Sieva, there are no words."
Why was I unleashing so much anger on him? Because I'd been hurt? So had he been. Because I didn't want to be in a position of choice again? If I never forgave Aric for what had happened to me over the hellish last two months, then my life would be easier. My heartache would be lessened. "I owe my life to Patrick Joules. Tell me, do you still regret that I spared him back in Requiem, Tennessee? You made me feel foolish, telling me, 'Have you lost your wits, creature?' Paul wasn't controlling you back then."
"You are teaching me, sieva. I understand now that players can change. We're not bound by the past. Joules and Gabriel are both welcome within the castle. I owe them both debts that I can never repay."
"More mouths to feed? You were already rationing."
"We still have fifty years. I was greedy for a decade or two more, so our child could live a full life."
"How's Paul going to manage the resources while you're away?"
Aric's expression told me he had concerns.
