He’s everything I’m not.
“I…I’m really tired,” I say quickly. “I’m going to bed.”
I walk up to Fi and kiss her on top of her head. Then, I climb the loft ladder. I can feel their eyes on me the entire time. I drop on the bed with a huff and pull off my socks, ball them up, and throw them across the room. The energy in my chest makes me want to scream, but I don’t have the privacy to melt down.
I stare at my shaking hands. I thought maybe she could make the nightmares go away. Hell, just sleeping in the same bed with Michaels was the first time in a long time that I’ve slept unfettered through the night. But I was wrong to let my guard down. I’m still alone. Like always.
Charlie bolts past me,sprinting down the hallway, choking on sobs.
I blink.
I’m in my childhood home.
I hear a whimper over the din of voices in the room below. I approach Charlie’s door, toeing it all the way open as I enter the dark room. The illumination from the hallway casts a yellow column of light that splashes across the carpet and falls onto two figures moving on the bed.
As I step closer, I see Matt, and there’s a woman pinned beneath his naked body. Rage swells in my veins.
“What the fuck, man?” I shriek.
Matt’s head snaps up, and the grin he gives me sends chills skittering down my spine. I always knew my best friend was a little off—his parents are the worst kind of people, especially his dad—but the look he’s giving me now is straight-up sociopathic.
He sits up on his knees, his dick still erect and bobbing. “Jesus, everyone is trying to ruin my night. Unless…Did you come to join the party, Sebastian?”
“No, no, no, not again!”
“Sebastian…”
“Sebastian! Wake up, buddy?”A gentle, callused hand pushes the hair out of my face, and I flinch. “You’re safe,” Michaels whispers.
It’s pitch black, but his spicy scent fills my nostrils, calming me more than it probably should.
I’m safe.
My hands loosen their grip on the soft flannel sheets.
The nightmare was more intense than usual. I swallow down bile and take a deep breath, my eyes filling with tears.
I hear rather than see Michaels raise himself onto his elbow and peer down at me. “Did you have a bad dream?” He doesn’t sound like he’s mocking me.
As my eyes adjust, I can make out the sharp lines of his jaw.
I sniff and look away, shame warming my cheeks. His fingers graze my forehead again, and I want to lean into his touch—lean into the comfort he’s offering—but part of me is still lit with anger toward him.
I shove his hand away and roll over with a huff. “I’m fine.”
I hear his quiet sigh and feel him shift his weight on the bed as he lies back down. “Despite what it may look like, all I’ve ever wanted is to be your friend. I hope you know that.”
I don’t answer him, but his words tug at my heart. Because deep down, I think I want that too.
I’ve resignedmyself to the fact that I’m just here as a friend to Fi.
That’s it.
But today has been awkward already, and I haven’t even had breakfast. She and Michaels keep exchanging concerned glances as we tiptoe around each other. Despite my attempt at a nonchalant attitude, I think they know I’m upset.
The cabin seems livable now. Michaels got up before Mariah Carey this morning and dusted the entire place, and Fi wiped everything in the kitchen with the cleaning spray I bought in Flurry.
I set my laptop on the little rickety bistro table by the window and start sifting through some recipes that I downloaded. Marcus and I agreed that we’d keep some of our staple menu items, but we need something to draw in locals and Seattle tourists alike. The grocery store in Flurry was a little limited in its selection, so I had to make a few substitutions, but I’m excited to start trying out some meals.
