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But having just given every last piece of her shattered soul over to the crowd, in this state, she knew exactly what she’d do the second she saw him: She’d beg him to take her back. Even just for one hour, if he’d have her that long. And when morning came, she’d hate herself for not being able to hold onto her pride where he was concerned.
She shook her head, started to say, “I can’t—”
Jimmy nodded. “Don’t worry. I won’t let him back here. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t leave alone tonight, just in case he decides to wait around in the shadows outside for you. I’ll take you back to your hotel.”
She nodded. “Okay.” She tried to smile her thanks, but she couldn’t manage it. “I appreciate you letting me know about the situation.”
His smile was gentle. “You were great out there tonight. Blew us all away.”
Tears prickled too close to her eyelids. “Thanks. I’m glad you liked the show.” She gestured toward the dressing room. “I just need a few seconds and then I’ll come out and do the meet-and-greet.”
“I’ll let them know you’re on your way.”
She closed the door again with a soft click, holding her hand over her heart. Just thinking about Marcus out by the stage door had it beating so fast, too fast. He was so close...
No. She needed to stop thinking of him, needed to get on with her job.
She didn’t dare look in the mirror, didn’t want to see her own haunted eyes, as she grabbed a water bottle and headed out to say hello to her fans. Tonight was about them, about their generosity to a very deserving charity. Nicola wasn’t going to let a stupidly broken heart get in the way of that truth.
Thirty minutes later, her cheeks hurt from smiling so hard, but she wanted to hug each and every one of her fans, because for a little while she’d almost felt normal, like she had before Marcus had come into her life and held her so gently.
Before he’d kissed her, touched her.
Before he’d shown her something far more beautiful—and, ultimately, far more painful—than she ever could have imagined.
Before love.
“Oh my God, you were amazing!” Lori pushed through the throngs of people surrounding Nicola to throw her arms around her.
She was glad to see Lori, of course she was, but the link to Marcus was way too close for comfort and Nicola had to work even harder than she already was to school her expression into a smile.
“Thanks,” she said, wondering if Lori knew her brother was there. “I had a lot of fun out there tonight.”
“I wish Marcus had been able to come. You would have a new biggest fan.”
Nicola barely held onto her smile. If he were any other guy, maybe she would have let herself confide to Lori how she’d completely lost her heart. Girl talk was just what she needed, someone to drink too many glasses of wine with while they trash-talked men.
Instead, she said, “I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you this week.”
Marcus’s sister grinned at her. “You’re not leaving until Monday, right?” At Nicola’s nod, Lori said, “Once a month, the whole clan gets together for Sunday lunch at my mother’s house. Please come and hang out with us. You already know Marcus, but I know how much everyone else would like to meet you after I’ve spent the last week talking their ears off about how amazing you are.”
“Wow, that’s really nice,” Nicola said, not wanting to be a bitch and ruin their budding friendship by turning down Lori’s friendly offer, “but I can’t intrude on a family event.”
Misunderstanding Nicola’s hesitation, Lori said, “We all get the fame thing with Smith. I promise everyone will be totally normal. Besides,” she said with an obvious matchmaking gleam in her eyes, “I can’t help but hope you’ll meet one of my brothers and the two of you will fall in love. Have I told you about Gabe? He’s a firefighter and my friends are always telling me how hot he is.”
Everything was spiraling out of control so quickly that Nicola could barely force out a joke. “Who could possibly resist a firefighter?”
Lori hugged her again. “I’ll text you the address. I know you’re busy, so I’ll let the rest of your adoring fans have some time with you. See you tomorrow!”
Maybe, Nicola thought as a group of excited young girls squealed at meeting her, this lunch was for the best. She’d already been brave enough to start changing her image, had taken that first step tonight to stop hiding behind her super-sexy exterior.
But not letting Marcus see her backstage just now hadn’t been very brave.
Tomorrow at Sunday brunch she’d face him one more time. She’d prove to both of them that she could handle it, that she was big enough, strong enough to stop hiding, and clear up any lingering hurt feelings. That would leave both of them free to move on with their lives, the few days they’d spent together in each other’s arms nothing but a distant memory.
Still, Nicola knew she wouldn’t sleep much that night. How could she when her brain would be busy looking at her relationship with Marcus from every possible angle, even though she already knew the final answer?
Ending it was the best thing for both of them. Yes, they could have done it in a cleaner, nicer way, but at least they weren’t fooling themselves into thinking they could actually have a relationship.
He would be so much happier without her.
And she’d eventually learn how to deal with being miserable without him.
