“Ahh, yes, but I’m practicing for when I do. That way I’ll be really good at it.”
If looks and silence could kill, I’d be deader than the pigs this place used for bacon.
Bacon actually sounded pretty good, now that I thought about it.
The waitress came over, realizing I’d finally joined the storm cloud of a man across from me, and proceeded to take our orders. For me, a western omelette with home fries, cinnamon toast, and a side of bacon. For Archer, two pieces of wheat toast, no butter. I stared at him, my expression no doubt displaying my thoughts loudly. But for real, a man that size was going to eat two tiny slices of toast?
Once she was gone, Archer folded his arms, one over the other, on top of the table, and leaned toward me. The table wasn’t very wide, so neither was the booth, and at this distance, all I could smell was him—earthy and sort of minty, with undertones of smoke. I bet he always smelled a little bit like a campfire no matter how many times he washed his clothes. Under the table, his knees kept bumping into mine, and I tried my best to ignore it, but that little bit of contact branded me every time. At least that’s how I imagined getting branded felt—sudden, all-consuming, and hot. So, so hot.
Archer’s eyes bored into mine, demanding my attention. I decided to take mercy on him. I played my games, and had my fun, it was time to be serious.
“So, I know how you can make up for being a jerk to me.”
He chuckled drily. “You said as much in your texts.”
I rolled my eyes at his sass, but otherwise ignored him, jumping into what I’d rehearsed with Linnea. “In addition to doing a paternity test, I want your help getting my apartment ready. I’ve got a home gym that needs to be turned into the nursery, and I could use your . . . muscles. If you could paint it too so I don’t have to be stuck in the fumes that’d be cool.”
He sat back in his seat, apparently feeling comfortable enough with my requests to relax. “Easy. Done. Next.”
How much more had he expected? I thought doing a paternity test and helping me set up the nursery was more than enough to make it up to me, but his expression said he’d expected a laundry list from me. “That’s it. That’s all I’ve got.”
Archer regarded me in silence, and I sat there, confused as to what was happening. He’d already agreed to help me, and I just said there was nothing else I wanted, so what was with the contemplative expression on his face?
A beat later, he leaned forward, his sculpted forearms pressing against the tabletop. “That’s going to require quite a bit of time together,” he hedged tentatively. The wheels spinning in his eyes gave me pause.
I shrugged and nodded. “Yeah, so?”
“I’m up for a promotion at work.” He said it and it seemed as if he was talking to me, but to himself too.
I continued watching him and whatever was happening deep inside his head. “Congratulations? I’m sorry, what does that have to do—”
He blurted his next words so fast I was sure I’d misheard them. “I want you to be my fake girlfriend.”
I blinked.
Ringing filled my ears, but it wasn’t from anger—I was actually surprisingly fine as far as emotions went. No, it was from thesilence that stretched between us. All I could hear was the muted ringing, and my own steady breathing.
“I’m sorry. What?” I finally asked.
“The chief doesn’t think I have any ties outside of the department, and won’t consider me for the lieutenant promotion unless I can prove to him that I have . . . attachments.” The last word sounded like it pained him to say. I think it was the longest sentence he’d ever said to me.
“Do you? Have anything outside being a firefighter?”
He grimaced. “No.”
“Why don’t you get an actual girlfriend?” I questioned.
“That’s not an option.” He was getting growly, and the part of me that wasn’t in complete disbelief liked knowing that I was pushing his buttons.
Channeling my inner three-year-old, I asked again, “Why?”
“Because, if you recall, I don’tdothe whole girlfriend thing.” His tone took on a slightly icy edge.
How many verbal pokes did it take to get to the end of Archer’s patience? Surprisingly, only a few.
I leaned forward on the table, palms flat against the table as if that small hold would keep my head from spinning off my shoulders. “So, let me get this straight.Youwantme,the pregnant woman you told three weeks ago you wanted nothing to do with when I told you it might be your child,to pretend to date you, so that you can get a promotion that your chief doesn’t think you’re emotionally responsible enough for. And instead of working on yourself to become the kind of guy he’s wanting to promote, you want me to enter into a fake relationship and parade around with you for an undetermined amount of time so that you can lie your way into securing said promotion?”
At that, Archer laughed, running a hand through his dark locks. “Listen, I know it sounds ridiculous, I honestly can’t believe I just suggested it, but if we’re going to be spendingall this time together anyway . . .” He sighed, letting his hand fall from his hair and slide over his face. “I’d really like this promotion, and as stupid as it sounds, a girlfriend would prove to my chief that I’ve got attachments.”
