“She claims you two were never affectionate, even in the privacy of Eira’s home.”
“Well, yeah, not in front of anyone. She didn’t want to make Elis uncomfortable. Eira was a lady. She had needs but she didn’t need to flaunt them in front of everyone.”
“Carys also said you didn’t have anyone outside of Eira.”
Benjamin nodded. “My parents disowned me when I came out as bisexual. They’re very closed-minded about what a man should be.” He rolled his eyes dramatically and waved a hand. “In this day and age, honestly, I was more embarrassed for them than hurt.” Avery could tell by the insincere strain in his voice and the way he fidgeted that was a lie. Still, it was a lie that could have extended only to a feigned nonchalance about his parents’ opinion of him.
“Carys mentioned Eira might have cared for you a little more like she might a son.”
That snapped Benjamin’s attention back to Avery. He choked on a laugh. “What? No. Oh God no, that would be —Look. I get it. She was like sixty years older than me, but trust me, she had the stamina of a woman less than half her age.Ihad trouble keeping up sometimes.”
He was posturing again.
“So you said.” Avery folded her arms thoughtfully. “And the more details you dish out, the harder it is to believe you’re sincere.”
Benjamin frowned. His shoulders slumped and his chest caved inward as he crumpled over himself. “Okay,” he said much softer now. “On that, you’re right. I’m overcompensating. But it’s not what you think.” He took a breath, digging his nails into his knees, taking a few deep grounding breaths. “I feel like if I’m crass and makingother peopleuncomfortable, thenIdon’t have to be uncomfortable, you know?” His voice cracked and he took another deep breath. “I did love her. Idolove her. I’m not saying she was the love of my life, or my soulmate, or even the person I expected to be with for more than a year or two, but she wasspecial.”
Avery could hear the way the emotion crept back into his voice, tightening his throat and forcing him to try to clear it a few times.
“We really connected—intellectually, I mean. Physically, sure, but that wasn’t really what made it what it was. I could listen to her talk aboutclassic art for days—and she really believed in my work, and made me feel beautiful and talented, and like I wassomething.” Benjamin sniffed. “And now she’s gone. Just like that. And while I had no delusions about our life together, I’m struggling to accept that.” A small sob fought its way out of him and he laughed at it bitterly. “It hurts, Inspector, is that what you want me to admit?” He wiped at his nose and sniffed a few times. “It fucking hurts, and it’s easier to focus on a crass comment that will make someone squirm and not look too closely at me than to let myself hurt.”
Avery spoke her next question very softly. “Would you bring her back if you could?”
The absurdity of it caught Benjamin off guard. “What kind of question is that?”
Avery shrugged. “We’ll call it a hypothetical one.”
Benjamin stared at her through glassy eyes, uncertain of what sort of game or angle this was. His face gave him away, every thought translated into expression. He wasn’t just confused, he was frustrated, he was indignant and thinking ‘what possible information could a detective glean from such a hypothetical question?’ “No,” he finally said. “I wouldn’t bring her back if you paid me.”
It was the utter certainty that made Avery’s eyebrows raise. “Interesting.Why?”
“She wouldn’t have wanted it,” said Benjamin simply. “Eira was very… pragmatic about death. It was like she was planning a trip. She wasn’t sure when exactly she would catch her flight, but she was looking forward to it. She wasn’t scared, she was…ready. Ready to meet Heath on the other side or whatever awaited.” He sniffed hard. “As much as I loved hearing her talk about art? I loved hearing her talk about Heath even more. It made me believe in love. Like the kind they sing about. I couldn’t bring myself to take that away from her, no matter how much I missed her. Not even hypothetically.”
“As surprised as I am to say it… I believe you.” Avery leaned back into the cushion, realizing she’d hit another dead end. “But it does leave me at a bit of a loss.” She chewed her lower lip and sat forward again, proppingher forearms on her knees. “Can you think ofanythingthat seemed strange with Eira in the weeks leading up to her death?”
Again, Benjamin’s face clouded with confusion. “Don’t you mean Doctor Campbell’s death?”
“No.”
Benjamin tried to read Avery’s expression but was unsuccessful. “Are they somehow related?”
Avery said nothing.
“How?”
“I can’t talk about potential evidence on a case, surely you know that.” She leaned a little further forward. “But I am running out of time, and have hit my last dead end. There’s a piece missing, and I have to believe it happened before Eira died.”
Benjamin considered this. His eyebrows drew closer together in thought, causing his perfectly smooth brow to crease. “There was one thing, I guess, now that you ask.” He hesitated. “But I could be wrong, I mean, I don’t have a clue what it takes to settle an estate, especially not one the size of Eira’s.”
Avery sat up a little straighter. “What about it?”
“She was meeting with that lawyer twice a week—sometimes more.”
Immediately Avery felt that hope fizzle, and her shoulders slumped again. She sighed and shook her head. “Not unusual at all, especially when you feel like you’re approaching the end of your life.”
“For the past three years?” asked Benjamin.
Avery let this information sink in. Nowthatwas odd. “She was meeting with her lawyer two to three times a weekeveryweek for the past three years?”
