Whoa. Where are my thoughts going? Lark is still staring at me with that hope-laced worry.
I square my shoulders. This is what I signed up for. A ruse. A performance. “I’m sure we can share, darling fiancé.”
Lark grins, that ridiculous dimple making its appearance. My belly squirms, but I’m in too deep to turn back now. Daria was right. This ought to be fun.
Chapter 17
Talvie
“I’m sorry, Daria. I thought I had a good handle on the dishes. Is this because I didn’t sort the cutlery before washing it the other night? It was just that I thought I could sort them all easier when they were clean.” And when there’s not so much disgusting food bits stuck to them, because I still get grossed out. “But I know Ludo showed me with it sorted first, and I didn’t realize it was an issue to do it the other way around, but of course I can do it that way from now on. Uh, assuming there is still a now on…?”
Daria’s hands are on her hips, silver braid draped elegantly over one shoulder, and that gaze pinning me in place. “Girl, what do I always tell you?”
My brain spins.
Comes up empty.
“Not to use too much soap? I’ve been so careful since that first time! I know that was a disaster, and I’m stillsosorry about that, or…oh, do you mean about going slow around the corner inthe kitchen so I don’t crash into anyone again? I’ve been really trying, and I know I rushed a bit yesterday, but that was only because chef shouted, and I thought I did something, so I was hurrying to fix it and—”
“Breathe! I tell you to breathe, Val.Drowning deep,” she curses low, “who made you this way?”
Well.
That…just.
That.
I mean…
My shoulders slump. I never actually thought about the effect of Taynia’s cruelty and coldness, but that’s it, isn’t it? I’m worried that everything I do is wrong, or annoying, or in the way, or, or, or…wow.
Every time she yelled, sent me away, withdrew affection, or chastised me, it all built up to make me into this terrified mouse, a shadow of my former self. Why didn’t I see it until now?
I used to run through the palace corridors, swipe pastries from the kitchen, train with ice blades with Beron, and relish each next adventure, even as I longed to leave the palace more often. Now I’m worried about everything, including ridiculous stuff that is far smaller than my predicament of hiding from the huntsmen. I haven’t just donned a disguise, I’ve made myself the size of Hugo.
Worse…I think it started long before I fled from my old life.
Daria clocks the heavy sigh that slips through my lips and grasps my shoulders. “I wasn’t pulling you off dishes for doing a poor job, girl. Quite the opposite. I’m giving you a day off tomorrow because you’ve earned it, and not for any other reason. Then I thought we could use you in the tavern again over-morrow. Do you feel ready for it?”
“Oh. I—yes, thank you. I can do that.”
“Good.” Her smile is warm. “If any Pointy pricks come in again, you just leave them to Ludo, you hear? He’s got thick skin, that one.”
I smile back, because Ludo’s scaly forearms do seem pretty tough. Plus that vivid green hair that warns people off. “Are you sure you don’t need me?”
“Not as much as you need a rest. Now take this plate and enjoy your evening.”
Automatically, I pull the cucumber slices off the tray, only to find Daria raising a silver brow at me. “Lark doesn’t like cucumber,” I say with a shrug.
“He’s never said anything to me.”
“Well, he wouldn’t want to offend when you’ve been so nice to send leftovers even though they’re not paying for meal service anymore. I just noticed he always shuffles any cucumber to the kids.”
“You certainly seem to know him.”
“Do I? I guess so. I mean, we live in the same small space. We even sleep in the same bed, not that it’s like that, because you know it isn’t like that, and he’s a total gentleman even when I…uh, well, but it’s fake, of course. The ruse, and all that.”
“Yes, the ruse.” She picks up a cucumber slice. Daria understands me.
