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I moved on to the bed then grabbed her ankles to drag her down until she was horizontal. The bed was too small for us to be in another position except parallel to the side of the bed, so I repositioned her underneath me then pulled her panties down her long legs. She now used my razor to shave, so she was always groomed and ready for me, even though I’d desire her the same even if she wasn’t.
She pulled her shirt over her head then widened her legs for me before she guided me on top of her. Her hand moved to my length, and she touched me that way for the first time, guiding my head inside her as she breathed at my entrance, her eyes on me. Then she grabbed my hips and pulled me inside her as much as she could take, her legs wrapping around my waist, a deep moan coming from her throat. “Yes…”
I walked in the door then removed the long-sleeved shirt and the cloak, eager to get it off because it was hot outside, even in the dark. I tossed it on the floor then got into the shower so I could let the cold water cool me off.
Whenever I returned to the cabin after a long day, I didn’t want to talk.
Not even to Raven.
I showered and sat at the desk to drink my scotch and try to forget all the bullshit from the day.
Raven seemed to understand that without my having to explain it because she rarely spoke to me until several hours had passed. She either read a book in silence or watched TV, usually in one of my t-shirts while she leaned against the wall.
I closed my laptop then drank the rest of the scotch in my glass.
She spoke when my need for solitude was over. “Who did that to you?”
I stilled at the question, not expecting it. After we’d talked about it last week, we’d had sex every night before we went to sleep, like a couple. It was the highlight of my day, to get lost in her and forget about our miserable lives, then go straight to sleep. I had unimaginable wealth because of this operation, but I realized that didn’t bring me happiness, now that I had her. I couldn’t spend it on her. I couldn’t give her a life she deserved. It was meaningless at this point.
I turned in the chair so I could look at her.
“It was him…wasn’t it?”
I nodded.
Instead of tearing up, she looked angry. “Who the fuck does that to their own brother?”
“He had to punish me.”
“Don’t defend him. What he did was unacceptable.”
“My crimes were severe. He didn’t have a choice. My punishment should have been death, so this was the only way to keep me alive. If he didn’t give the men the satisfaction they wanted, he would have lost control of the guards.”
She shook her head, looking at me incredulously. “How can you possibly say that?”
I looked away. “You wouldn’t understand…”
“Why are you so loyal to that monster?”
“It’s not any different from whipping you to keep you alive—”
“Fuck off, it’s totally different.” She got so angry that her face turned beet red and spit flew out of her mouth.
“Keep your voice down—”
“No.” Emotion cracked in her voice. “Why do you put up with him, Magnus? Why don’t you stop him from doing all these heinous things? Why don’t you just kill him?”
I turned back to her slowly because the suggestion was outrageous. “He’s my brother—”
“He hangs innocent women—”
“Not he, himself—”
“Doesn’t fucking matter. He’s just as guilty.”
I stared at her. “Then I’m just as guilty.”
Her face tightened into a look of pain. “You’re nothing like him.” She breathed through the emotion making her chest rise and fall at a quicker pace. “Don’t say that again. You would never do any of this shit if it were up to you. You’ve asked him to stop. You saved me. Don’t compare yourself to that fucking psychopath.” Angry tears came from the corners of her eyes. “Why do you allow this to happen? Why do you do nothing? Why do you continue to work here?”
I stared at the TV.
“Magnus… Answer me.”
I tilted my chin to the floor. “You wouldn’t understand…”
“Try me.”
I held my silence.
“Tell me…”
“I continue to work here because I owe him.”
“Owe him for what?”
I inhaled a deep breath. “For saving my life.”
“You shouldn’t have to owe him for that. Any brother would—”
“Shut up.” I rose to my feet and regarded her. “You want me to tell you or not?”
She pulled her knees to her chest and shut her mouth tightly, like she needed to clench her jaw not to speak.
I looked away for a moment, reliving the memory, feeling the raindrops against my fingertips when my hands hit the concrete. I remembered how hard my body worked to sprint to safety. I remembered my brother’s voice as he told me to run. I wouldn’t have believed the story if I hadn’t seen him in the flesh…standing on the porch with his gun aimed at our backs. “When I was fifteen, I was asleep in my house…”
