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I didn’t want to tell her what Fender had said, but I wanted her to know that her sister had her back when she wasn’t even there. “Melanie asked about you.”
“How is she?”
“Living the life, frankly.”
She smiled slightly. “Yeah…I picked up on that.”
“She asked why you left the party early. I told her the real reason.”
Her fingers stopped moving against me.
“Fender made an asshole comment about it. Melanie told him off and slapped him across the face.”
Raven’s eyes immediately widened in surprise. “What?”
“And she slapped him hard.”
“Melanie?” She was incredulous at first but then started to laugh. “Oh my god, I cannot picture that.”
“Well, she did.” I smiled, loving the fact that she focused on the good part of the story instead of the bad.
“What did he do?”
“Just sat there. Said he liked it.”
“Damn, she’s got him wrapped around her finger.”
“Big-time.”
She chuckled again as she looked into my face. “You never smile…”
My lips slowly started to sink. “Not much to smile about.”
“But you look so handsome when you do it.” Her fingers moved to the corner of my mouth, and she gently brushed her thumb along my bottom lip. “I wish I could see you smile every day.”
“I wish I could see you laugh every day.”
Her eyes softened in a way I’d never seen before. “Maybe one day…we will.”
Twenty-Five
Always Be This Way
Overnight, everything changed.
She was different.
Cold. Distant. Quiet.
When we passed coffee shops, she didn’t have the same excitement she used to. There wasn’t affection in her eyes when she looked at me, if she looked at me at all. I hadn’t done anything to warrant her indifference, so I assumed it was a mood that would pass on its own.
The only time she was the woman I knew was when we made love.
When I woke up that morning, she had already gotten her morning coffee and muffins, and my cup of coffee was sitting on the counter. I grabbed it and took a drink, noticing she wasn’t reading in the living room.
I set the cup on the counter then walked into her old bedroom.
She sat in the armchair and read her book, her back angled slightly, earrings hanging down.
I leaned against the doorframe and stared at her.
She didn’t acknowledge me.
“What did I do?”
She stilled at the sound of my voice, her eyes lifting up to the window.
I waited for an explanation that never came. “You’ve been different for days. I thought your mood would pass, and it hasn’t. I don’t want to spend our remaining time this way.” My arms crossed over my chest, and I continued to watch her.
After a long pause, she closed her book and looked out the window.
“Tell me.”
She set the book on the table and got to her feet, finally looking at me for the first time in days, really looking at me. Her eyes took in my features, having that hint of emotion that had been absent for a while. She walked toward me then moved past me into the living room.
My heart started to ache. Our foundation was still there, rock-solid, but she was different…and I couldn’t figure out why. Not knowing something about her scared me because I always knew every thought that came across her complex mind.
I dropped my arms and turned around.
She stood in the middle of the living room, her arms crossed.
The longer she stayed quiet, the more uncomfortable I became. “What did I do?”
She ran her fingers through her hair and shook her head. “Nothing.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
She lifted her gaze and looked into mine.
I waited, holding my breath.
“We can’t do this for the rest of our lives.” One hand slid up and down her arm, lightly touching her soft skin. “Can you do this for the rest of your life?”
I gave her a blank stare.
She stepped closer to me. “Because I can’t.”
I looked for further explanation in her eyes because I didn’t understand her words. “I don’t understand your meaning, ma petite amie.”
Her eyes softened. “Look, if you want us to be together, things have to change. If you want to be with me, really be with me, then our lives have to be different.”
My eyes shifted back and forth as I focused on her face. “If I want to be with you? What the fuck does that mean? What the fuck have I been doing since the moment we met? I’ve been with you, even when we were apart, even when I was with another woman, because my heart has always been with you.”
She raised her voice when I raised mine. “And this will just be our lives forever?” she asked incredulously. “Going back and forth between here and the camp? Years will pass and we’ll age, but we’ll never really live? What about spending our lives together and having a family? How the fuck are we supposed to do that like this?”
