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Raven’s and my relationship was different when we were in the camp. Our connection was just as strong as ever, but there was definitely a lower level of joy to our interactions. As if a shadow passed over the sky and blocked out the sun, we were subdued and miserable. We were withdrawn from each other, not having deep conversations, just necessary words. We both seemed to count down the time until we got to leave.
Once the day arrived, we took the wagons with two other men and made it to the edge of the forest. Even on the seven-hour journey, she didn’t say much. With melancholy in her veins, she just wasn’t herself. Now that I knew a whole different side of her, it was hard to be in the presence of her sadness when there was a much better version of her.
When we got to the car, I drove down the country roads and headed toward Paris.
She immediately went to sleep.
I made the journey alone with the radio for company. I thought about my conversation with Fender and his intention to marry Melanie. I never asked when this wedding was taking place or if there would be a wedding at all. Would it just be a bunch of papers to sign? Or would there be an actual ceremony? I didn’t ask any of those questions because it had still seemed unreal at the time.
Hours later, we arrived in Paris.
She woke up and looked out the window, staring at the city near to her heart. She was instantly more relaxed, like she was on vacation. The corners of her lips lifted slightly, and she took in the lights of the city.
I pulled into the garage, and we went upstairs.
She made her way into the living room and immediately stripped off her clothes, as if they were chains that bound her body to that camp. She let them sit on the floor, even taking off her underwear and bra because she didn’t want anything touching her skin. “You said you have other residences.” She pulled her hair out of her ponytail and let the strands fall around her shoulders as she looked at me.
Even on her worst day, I found her beauty exceptional. “Yes.”
“And is Rose at one of those residences?”
I’d kept my promise even when she’d betrayed me. “Yes.”
Her eyes lit up like the moon on a clear night. “Can we visit her soon?”
We could do whatever she wanted, and she knew that. “Sure.”
She bent down and picked up her clothes before she went upstairs and threw them in the hamper. Then she got into bed and lay under the sheets, ready to go straight to sleep after a long day of traveling.
I showered before I got into bed beside her.
I stared at the ceiling in the dark, thinking about how different my life would be very soon. I was happy that Raven would stay here while I was away, but I was also disappointed that I would be there for a month without her. I hadn’t wanted to share my space with her initially, but now I couldn’t imagine how that cabin would feel without her in it. I didn’t know how I would sleep in that small bed without her on top of me. She was my only joy in that camp. And now I didn’t know what to do without it.
When we woke up the next morning, she wanted to go out.
We walked to her favorite coffee shop, and she picked out a couple muffins. “I’ll take a blueberry and a poppy seed.” Raven watched the barista grab them from the glass case and put them into bags on the counter.
I already had my black coffee in hand. “I’m not hungry.”
She turned to me and gave me a somewhat awkward expression. “They’re both for me.”
She was already completely different than she was yesterday at the camp. And I couldn’t stop the smile from entering my lips. “Sorry. Should’ve assumed.”
When she got her coffee and her muffins, she took a seat at one of the round tables on the patio and stuck her hand into the bag to pull off chunks to place in her mouth. Crumbs got everywhere, but she didn’t care.
I enjoyed my coffee while watching her, seeing her appreciate the little things in life that were irrelevant to my brother. To her, happiness was as simple as a cup of coffee and a muffin, and sunshine on your face.
After she ate one, she moved on to the other. “I don’t know how to choose a favorite. They’re both good.” When she was done, she wiped up the mess on her fingers and mouth with a napkin. “You want to go to the bookstore? I read all the books I took with me to the camp. I need something new.”
