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I stared at her long brown hair as it hung down her back. As the months since I’d first laid eyes on her passed, it had grown longer and longer. It marked the passage of time when there was no other way to keep track of it. “You’re all she has.”

“I don’t care. I can forgive a lot of things…but not that.”

“I’ll be there. I’m all that my brother has in this world, and even if I disagree with his decisions, I’m still his brother…and I’ll be there for him. I know this is hard for you, but we have to remember that. Even if this is the worst decision of her life, you should still be there. She’ll be unhappy if you aren’t, and deep down inside, you know you will be too.”

She slowly turned around to face me, her eyes angry. “This isn’t some douchebag I don’t get along with. This guy is evil.”

“Alix was going to rape you, but Fender stopped it. He did it for me, but even after everything you did to make him hate you, he still did the right thing. His love for me was stronger than hatred for you. He’s not evil.” There were other times when Fender had shown his true colors, other moments of mercy he granted when it was unnecessary. “When you destroyed the camp, he could’ve tortured you and killed you, but he didn’t. When I saved you from the Red Snow, he allowed it. When you took off with Melanie and tried to run, he let me spare your life. He’s not as evil as you think he is. He’s done a lot of shitty and unforgivable things, but he’s done good things too.”

Rage moved into her face. “I understand he’s your brother and you feel conflicted, but I don’t understand how you can defend him. He kills people.”

“But he doesn’t want to. He’s never wanted to. He just couldn’t find an alternative.”

“And that makes it okay?” she asked incredulously.

I didn’t know what I could say to make her understand, to understand why my brother was the way he was. “Imagine if your mother, the woman you hold a vigil for in your heart, came home one night and decided to kill you both. She squandered your family’s wealth and, instead of living with that shame, decided everyone should die. How would that make you feel?” It still haunted me to this day, a grown-ass man about to hit thirty. “Could you imagine walking into your house to discover your dead sister executed in her sleep? Could you live as the sole survivor?”

Her eyes shifted back and forth slightly as she met my gaze.

“He lost all faith in humanity that night. He was never the same. He’s obsessed with building wealth and strengthening our noble family name, as if that’s the best way to spite our dead father. He’s been obsessed with that goal to the point of insanity. He wants to bring honor back to our family, like that will somehow bring my dead mom and siblings back to life. He’s mentally ill, to be frank. This doesn’t justify what he’s done at all, don’t misunderstand me, but he’s not evil like all the other men out there who get off on shit like that. He’s just been so focused on his goal that he’s ignored all the horrible things he’s had to do to get there. I told you I would end the practices at the camp, and I meant that. I’ve never agreed with any of it, and I never will. But my relationship with my brother is never going to go away. I see more of him than you do, and I know that’s hard to understand. I know I can convince him to dismantle everything and let the past go. It might take me longer than you want, but it will happen. But if this is a lifelong commitment like you say it is, Fender will always be a part of that. You will never escape him. So, you should be there for Melanie on her big day, if and when that happens, because everything you stand for will be honored. We will move on from this…and start over.”

Her expression didn’t change, but she didn’t seem as angry anymore.

I knew our relationship was as strong as the bond I had with Fender because of everything we’d been through, so I wasn’t afraid to watch her turn her back on me and walk away. But I was afraid she would think less of me because of the love I had for my only brother, the faith I still had in his soul. “We are the same. You’ve had to live with your sister’s idiotic mistakes and have had to fix them, but you’ve never turned your back on her because you still believe in her. That’s exactly how I feel about Fender, just in a different scenario. I believe in his redemption. I can’t give up on him. I know you, of all people, can understand that.”

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