After reassuring him that yes she would be careful, and keep in touch, and yes she would think about putting her house on the market when she came back, Don ended the call, saying he had to prepare for an important meeting in the morning. She could almost see the frown in the middle of his forehead, worrying because she was going away with someone he didn’t know andwas thinking of remaining in Worcester when they’d moved to Cambridge. Don didn’t like change, it was a wonder he’d accepted this job, he liked things to stay the same and to have all his ducks in a row. She knew that he was fretting about her and she felt a little guilty about that. ‘You’re not doing anything wrong, you can’t live your life how Don wants you to,’ she reminded herself.
A text pinged.
Patti
All packed?
Sandra
Yep. Can’t wait! Have you got your passport?
Patti
In my bag.
Sandra
Good. How are you feeling?
She knew that Patti was anxious about the flight.
Patti
My stomach is in knots but I’m going to do it. You know what they say, Feel the fear but do it anyway!
She admired Patti for her sheer grit. They were both taking the train to the airport tomorrow, not wanting to leave either of their cars in parking for two weeks. It was a straightforward journey, changing over at Birmingham New Street station to the airport, which was perfectly manageable with only a 10kg case and hand luggage. Hopefully it would give them both chance to relax rather than have to deal with the heavy traffic on the motorway. Despite reassuring Don that she was perfectly fine she was alittle apprehensive about the holiday, after all she had only reconnected with Patti a few weeks ago and didn’t know her brother and sister-in-law at all. It will be all right, Sandra told herself. You can do this. What’s the worst thing that could happen?
That they didn’t get on, and she lost her friendship with Patti too.
You’re good with people, you can be diplomatic, you had years of experience working in customer services, just take yourself out of any difficult situation, she told herself. Anyway, think positive. You’ll probably all get on and have an absolutely fabulous time.
She felt lighter, happier than she had done for a long while and even though grief for Brian still frequently hit her, bringing on a fresh wave of anguish, she was coping much better. She walked over to the sideboard and picked up the photo of Brian in the frame.
‘I’ll always love and miss you, Brian, and I know you’d want me to live my life. To make it count for both of us.’
She could imagine him now, a twinkle in his eyes. ‘You go for it, Sandra. Good for you,’ he’d say.
He’d always wanted her to be happy. She blinked the tears from her eyes. When Brian had died it had seemed impossible to be happy without him, but now she was ready to try.
23
PATTI
Patti had hardly slept all night worrying about the flight today. She felt jittery with anxiety. She’d tried not to think about it as she and Sandra chatted away on the train, but once they entered into the airport the fear stepped in big time. She was glad that she was travelling with Sandra, she didn’t think she’d have coped alone – she’d have turned back and gone home. The airport was much bigger than she’d expected and so busy she felt that she couldn’t breathe. It was all so confusing, with signs, screens and queues everywhere but thankfully Sandra was very composed and knew exactly what to do and where to go.
‘I usually go straight through security to get it over with, then have a drink and maybe a snack,’ she’d told Patti.
Patti nodded in agreement and followed her friend. Her hand shook so much as she placed her printed boarding pass on the scanning machine, but the scanner couldn’t read it and Sandra had to turn back to help.
Patti couldn’t believe that all the people milling around them weren’t nervous too. They were all getting in a metal contraption and then flying through the sky! The thought of it made her feelnauseous, shaky and want to run out of the airport. Why had she agreed to do this? Why hadn’t she booked on a coach, travelled over on a ferry? It might have taken a bit longer – days longer actually – but at least she’d have arrived safely.
It’s statistically safer on an aeroplane than on the road, she reminded herself.And you’re doing it because you want to get over your fear of flying. It’ll be a big thing to cross off your bucket list. And you can do it. Stop panicking. Everything is going to be all right. You are going to get on that plane and fly over to see Keith and Mary.
She looked around at all the people in the airport. There were old people, middle aged people, harassed parents travelling with their children.
If they could get on that plane, so could she.
Couldn’t she?
