Page 12 of Kiss Kiss Fang Fang


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“You can fill in whatever details you want about our situation, Cara. As long as we don’t sleep together, this will all pass, and your life will eventually return to normal.”

I ran my palm down my mouth and searched the ceiling. “You mentioned danger. What would possibly be dangerous about knowing these things?”

“There are others like me. Others who place very high value on not being known.”

“Like that Bennigan guy and the two women?”

Lucian nodded. “Others, too. But Bennigan has a talent for holding grudges. He’s the greatest danger. For now.”

“Were you trapped in that wall? The one at Mercer House?” It felt like my brain was zig-zagging between a thousand unknowns and didn’t know quite where to start.

“Yes. But that’s enough questions for now.”

I folded my hands together, frowning at the man. “Let’s say I actually believe all of this. What am I supposed to do?”

“Unfortunately, that part isn’t really up to you or me. The bond will force us to stay close. Very close. We’ll need to find a way to blend into each other’s lives.”

“What do you mean?”

“Being away from each other will be like experiencing withdrawal from an addictive substance. You’ll need to stay here, and we’ll have to think of a way to make you blend in.”

“No,” I said, laughing. “I have classes. Roommates. People don’t just disappear. I have no idea how long you were trapped in that wall, but there would be search parties and news stories if I vanished.”

Lucian ran his thumb across his chin. “Then I will need to blend into your life as well.”

I looked at his clothes and his ridiculously model-like features. “I don’t think you’re going to blend in to my life.”

“Nor you to mine, but we’ll have to try.”

There was a loud thump, then muffled curses as something heavy tumbled down the stairs in the other room.

I got to my feet, looking toward the sound. “What was that?” I asked.

Lucian looked like he was about to sigh. “That is my roommate. Vlad.”

I looked at him through narrowed eyes. “You seriously have a roommate named ‘Vlad?’ Let me guess. He’s a vampire?”

Lucian gestured in the direction of the noise. “See for yourself. But don’t get too close. Vlad has a fondness for torturing virgins.”

“Did you just imply I’m a virgin?”

Lucian’s lip twitched in amusement. “You smell like one.”

I glared at him, unsure how I was even supposed to respond to that. But I decided I was in a weird enough situation that I should at least consider some of this could be true. So I cautiously approached the stairs.

I saw a man with long ringlets of dark, curly hair and a five-o-clock shadow. He was currently face first on the ground, groaning.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

Vlad rolled to the side, resting his hands on his impressively round belly as he gasped for air. “Yes. I don’t feel pain.” He had a thick, stereotypically vampirey accent. He winked at me. With another grunt that I was starting to suspect was more for effect than out of need, he got to his feet and brushed off his clothes. He was dressed a little bit like a cross between a medieval duke and a swashbuckling pirate, with embroidered vests, leather pants, and boots with curled up toes.

“I’m Cara,” I said.

“Vunderful,” he said, rolling his eyes. Despite Vlad’s out of date style and lack of self-care, he still managed to appear strikingly handsome. Not my type, but handsome.

“Lucian!” he called out, walking past me toward where me and Lucian had been sitting earlier. “You can’t bring your food home to toy with it. Not unless you want old Vlad to take a nibble first.” He barked out a laugh, then broke into a coughing fit.

I frowned after the man. What the hell?

“How do you two know each other?” I asked. Vlad was pouring himself a glass of liquor. He took a mouthful, swished it around, and then spit it violently into the trash can, wincing.

“Vlad is exceptionally old,” Lucian said. “Ancient, actually.”

Vlad gave a theatrical bow with a little circling wave of his arm and a flourish of his other hand. “They used to tell stories of me. Then they told stories about the stories. Now it’s all but forgotten.”

I was still trying to come to terms with all of this, but only having one foot in the door of belief helped me to take the roommate situation in stride. “Is there any chance you used to impale people on sticks, Vlad?” I asked, moving to lean in the doorway. I’d been joking, but there was a sudden feverish excitement on Vlad’s face and a look of dismay on Lucian’s.

“Please don’t ask him about torture,” Lucian said. “He will talk your ear off.”

Vlad swooped closer to me so quickly I wasn’t sure I’d actually seen his feet move—or touch the ground. He was inches from my face, smiling wide and sinister. “You’re a fan of my work? I could show you a live and in person demonstration, if you wish it? I promise, nobody will ever poke you like I will poke you, dearie.” He sniffed deeply, then his grin widened. “A virgin, as well?”

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