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He’s not in the living room or kitchen either. And there’s no note. I let out a nervous laugh. He’s probably gone out to get us some breakfast. Two hours later, after I’ve showered and dressed, a knock comes on the door.
Relief floods me. I fling the front door and come face to face with a man with a badge pinned on his shirt that says Pinnacle real estate. He’s carrying a file.
He narrows his eyes. “I’m sorry. Mr. Carter said he would vacate the apartment by today.”
Chapter 2
Two Years Later
Ace
“Dive for cover!” I scream to my fellow soldiers. I manage to dive into a trench before it goes off.
The stench of burning flesh pulls me from my hiding spot. A scream works its way up my throat when I see the damage from the grenade. I crawl closer and recognize Jareth…and scream.
I sit up with my breath coming out in gasps. I can still smell the smoke. I look around wildly and recognize my surroundings. I’m not in Afghanistan. I’m in my newly bought condo in LA. It’s over now. No more grenades and smoke and loss.
No more pain. Except that is not true. I have left the battlefield, but the battlefield has not left me. What kind of fucked up life am I living?
I fall back into bed and look up at the ceiling. My body is coated in sweat and it takes a few minutes before my breathing returns to normal. I glance at the clock on my nightstand. Three am. A couple more hours before I need to wake up and get ready to go to work.
There's no chance of falling asleep again so I get up and tread to the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee. I open the French doors in the kitchen and step out into the balcony.
The night air is chilly but refreshing. It makes me feel alive to feel cold instead of the numbness that I’ve lived with since I came back from Afghanistan. The firefighter training helped to keep my mind busy and sometimes I am able to fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.
Knots of anxiety form in my stomach and I inhale deeply to dispel them. I can’t afford to fuck up now. Not when I've come so far. I aced the fire training course. It was child's play, to be honest. Everything is easy after you've faced bombs and witnessed unimaginable human suffering.
I’m back in California and no one knows. Not my parents, not my brother, or my best friend, Park. Guilt surfaces in my gut. I should have let Park know that I was back. Knowing him and his wife Rachel, they would have organized a big party to welcome me back home. The very last thing I need.
It’s still odd to be among people. To walk down the streets without ducking every so often. I feel exposed when I go out, but we’d been told to expect that. It’s harder than I imagined to blend back into civilian life. But time will take care of that. If only these fucking flashbacks would stop.
I bring my thoughts back to Park. I make a point to call him sometime during the day. My brother Declan floats to my mind and despite everything that happened between us, a part of me misses him. He's older than me by a year and we were best buddies growing up before a woman came between us.
I harden my heart. I've earned the right to cut people who do not add value out of my life and Declan is one of them. So are my parents. They took sides when Declan had clearly been in the wrong. And that’s putting it mildly.
I drink too much coffee between three and five and by the time I go for my five-mile run, I feel high on caffeine. I get back to my apartment, shower, and leave for work. The run has done me good and I feel like any other normal human being going to work. It feels good to feel normal again.
I wish I could capture that feeling and keep it for those moments when I’m plunged into a black hole and have no memory of what it feels like to be simply Ace Carter.
I'm excited as I drive toward LA Fire Department Station 255. I can’t remember feeling this excited about anything. It feels like a new start for me. I’m one of those people who actually love to work but not just any job.
I found my calling of helping people when I was in the military. Being a firefighter is a dream come true. Before I was deployed, Declan and I ran a real estate company, and though it became more successful than we had dreamed it never filled me with a sense of purpose as the military did. I need to be doing something that contributes to society for my life to feel purposeful. And firefighting is perfect for me and I can’t wait to start.
