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“Yeah,” Vanessa says. “He’s been coming around. He’s another reason why Miles said my life is full of drama. He and Mom fight a lot.”
“Already?” I ask.
She nods. “You know what she’s like.”
“I know too well.” Mom loses her temper at the slightest provocation and she expects too much from whoever she’s dating.
I remember when I was a kid, I’d sort of pity her current boyfriend. I knew little about men but even then, it seemed wrong for her to expect him to be everything. He had to be at her beck and call and if he so much as disappeared for an hour, there would be hell to pay. Or if she called him and he failed to answer his phone. In essence, having a relationship with her meant that she wanted to own you.
“He’s a drinker,” I tell Vanessa.
“I know. Mom promised that she won’t drink”
“Do you believe her?” I ask.
“No.”
“Good. Be prepared, that’s the only way to protect yourself.” I’m an expert at Mom. She’s broken my heart so many times that I never allow myself to hope. “Did she tell you where she was for the last couple of years?”
I don’t know where that came from.
“No, I didn’t ask, and she didn’t volunteer,” Vanessa says. “I knew if I asked, she would just lie to me.”
I stare at her in admiration. “You keep surprising me, Vanessa.”
“I’ve had to grow up where Mom is concerned. I used to find you so cold for not caring about where she was or when she’d come back home. Now I know that you were just protecting your heart.”
My heart aches as memories wash over me. Looking out the window for hours, wishing she would come home and at the same time dreading it. Worrying about social services. Mom had told us how the woman from social services would take us away from her. And no matter how irresponsible she was, she was still our mother.
Sometimes I really do hate her! She loved to play with our emotions.
“How’s work?” I ask Vanessa.
Her face lights up. “Good, really good. Someone hinted to me that I might get a promotion.”
As she talks, I wonder if I’ll ever have a career or a job that makes me as fulfilled as nursing obviously makes Vanessa.
Chapter 32
Ace
I’m off work for the weekend and I’m excited because today, I’m taking my girls out on the boat. I’m also excited because Park told me that our mutual friend Sebastian and his wife Claire are anchored in the Santa Monica marina for a few days. It’ll be nice to introduce Lexi to them.
I tell her about them on the drive down. She’s fascinated. By my count, this is their fifth year living full time on the boat. They’ve been all over the world on their boat and they have a son who would be about three years old.
“They actually live on the boat all year round?” Lexi asks.
I grin at the wonder in her voice. “There are quite a few people who do that.”
“Wow! Would you want to?” Lexi asks.
“Does that frighten you? That one day I’ll pack us up and move us to the boat?” I laugh at her.
“No, I’m just fascinated actually. It doesn’t sound like such a bad thing. Can you imagine not having a schedule, not being expected anywhere?” Lexi says.
“You sound as though you want it,” I tell her.
“I wouldn’t mind for a month or so. Or even longer,” Lexi says. “I’ve never been on a vacation. I’ve never not worked, except for when I gave birth and I went on two-month maternity leave.”
“That’s definitely not a vacation,” I tell her.
From conversation snippets, I’m beginning to get a clearer picture of Lexi’s life. Here was a girl who was forced to take over her mother’s responsibilities when she herself was just a child. She took care of her sister, in essence becoming her mother. When she finished school, using her wits and intelligence, she got a job and used her earnings to help her younger sister fulfill her dream of being a nurse. And then she was unfortunate enough to meet a man whose only use for her at the time was her body. He used her and left her. When she finally could have been carefree, she instead became a single mother.
In essence, Lexi has never let loose and took time to figure out what she wanted to do or to be. She’s never rested. Never had anyone take care of her. I want to do that for her. I want to take care of her.
I’m so excited about my idea but I don’t blurt it out. I need to refine it, mull it over in my mind, and present it to her in a way that she’ll say yes.
“I’m looking forward to seeing your friends,” Lexi says.
