They did just that. And she heard Jackie cackle and clap. It didn’t annoy her as it might any other time.
J.J. stepped back. She put her hand in his. He’d said all the right things.
She’d tripped over her words, and later, when they were enjoying the lovely buffet Aunt Emma had arranged, she leaned her head on Dean’s shoulder.
“I should have said more and that I love you. Back there with the vows.”
“You talk plenty,” Dean replied.
And that was the start of it, her wedding day.
ChapterSeven
Present Day
It came rushing back to her. It was a swell. It lifted her up and then washed over her head. J.J. had thought she was going to get away from Dean’s memory if she stayed here instead of the house, and yet, there it was.How could I have forgotten about the most important day I had here?
None of her Sandbar Sisters were at her wedding. They’d completely lost touch by that point. Maybe that was it. Maybe that was why she’d forgotten.
Or had I just pushed the memory down, replaced by thousands of other less special days that had made up our lives together?
“Honey, are you okay?”
Viv was next to her. She’d stopped cold. She’d been gripped by it. Her friends stopped what they were doing, too.
She hadn’t been taking these moments out and living with them. She’d blocked them all. And then here, out of the blue, she was under the water of her grief.
“I really sucked at wedding vows,” J.J. said by way of explanation. Her throat hurt like it was closing. Her fists were in tight balls. “I didn’t tell Dean I loved him when we got married here. Right here.” She put a hand to her lips and pressed hard, like she was going to keep something inside her body.
“You need to let this go. It’s us,” Goldie said.
“I’m trying to hold—” but J.J. didn’t get the words out. She cried. It probably sounded more like a wounded animal. But she didn’t care. For the first time, she didn’t care. She let the tears come and the feelings she’d been so terrified of.
Viv held her. Goldie had a hand on one shoulder, Hope the other. Libby put a hand on her head. But they didn’t say anything. They were there, in the swell with her. They were there if the water was too rough. If she stopped trying to tread water, to fight the waves, they were there to pull her up into the raft.
That’s what it felt like.
She’d avoided this moment and closed the door to her emotions. That was the whole reason she came to Nora House. And now it was out, in all its rough edges and racking sobs.
And then it ebbed. She could swallow. Breath. She could see.
“Okay, wow. Okay.” The flow of tears stopped. Her head throbbed a little.
“I think we need to sit out by the water, yeah?” Libby said.
She was right. The lake was their place. The best place.
“I’ve got nowhere to be but here,” Goldie said.
That was the international movie star telling her this was more important than any other thing.
“Really? I’ve got a red carpet somewhere,” J.J. said.
Goldie laughed, and the group of them started gathering their supplies for a nice sit by the lake.
It was a little too early to be in bathing suits and lying on their beloved raft. But it was the perfect day for the Adirondack chairs.
The sun warmed. It didn’t burn.
