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Her hands are shaking, and she’s trying hard to hide it by wringing them together.
“Come here. Come sit down and talk to me. Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.”
She looks my way, contemplating what I’m suggesting. Finally, she makes her way to the love seat and takes a seat across from me. Then Bailey starts to cry. I’m baffled and completely caught off guard. I am in no way prepared to handle this.
“I’m pretty sure you already know from the outburst with my sister that night, but I’m an addict. A recovering one, but an addict, nonetheless.”
I know this, and so much more, but I school my features. I’m finally getting her to open up to me for a change, and I won’t fuck that up. “Go on,” I prompt.
“I’ve been sober for two years. When I was younger, my father died. I started drinking back then, but—” A tear rolls down her face. I reach my hand out and swipe it.
“It’s okay, Bailey, if you don’t want to talk about it.” As much as I want to hear the next part, I don’t. The pain in my chest intensifies with each piece of the puzzle that falls into place.
“One night, there was an accident. I lost someone else. First my dad, and then my best friend, Emily. That’s when I started to take the pills.” She looks off into the empty space beside me, lost in the memory. Her hand touches her arm, absently rubbing it. “It got bad after that. Really bad. I got clean eventually, but it’s a constant struggle, and the club is just a horrible temptation. I can’t go back to those days, Drew. Lately, I feel like I’ve been drowning. Then there’s you and me and whatever we’ve been doing, and it’s like I’m one step away from relapsing.”
I listen to what she’s saying, and I can’t help but remember the days when I too struggled with the need to lose myself in booze. Losing Alexa was what finally made me realize I needed to make a change. I was the lucky one. I was able to walk away with my life, even if I’m haunted by the ghosts of my past. Bailey making them rise to the surface.
“Bailey, I’m sorry.”
“Oh my god, Drew, it’s not your fault. You’ve given me hope.”
A sob escapes her throat, and it’s my undoing. I jump up from the couch and grab her in my arms, holding her while she cries into my shoulder. Stroking her hair and telling her it’s all right has me realizing how strange this situation is.
I grab her shoulders and bring her to look at me. Tipping her chin up with my right hand, I force her to look into my eyes. “I’ll help you, Bailey. Whatever you need. If you have to get another job, I’ll help you. Please let me help you.”
Her eyes are so bright. She searches my face, and I see the moment her entire body relaxes. The moment she decides to put her trust in me. It’s an aphrodisiac. The urge to kiss her has never been greater.
So I do.
30
Bailey
His gaze sears me. He’s telling the truth. I might not really know Drew Lawson that well, but looking into those eyes right now, I know he would do anything to help me.
My shoulders slump forward, and the tension leaves my body. I lean against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart, and it further relaxes me. I run my hand down his firm chest, and his heart beats faster. Pulling back, we lock eyes. The lust is evident, but there is something else. Something breaking through the lust and morphing into a haunted stare. I’ve seen that look before, but not in him . . .
In me.
My eyebrow rises slightly. I need to know why he wants to help me so bad. It’s clear that there’s more to his offer, and it has me on edge.
“Why, Drew?” My voice quakes. I know I don’t have the right to ask, but I can’t help but want to know more about this man who, beneath his tough and indifferent exterior, would do anything to keep me safe. “Why do you want to help me so bad?”
“I—”
A look of regret and loathing crosses his face. It’s enough for me to wish I hadn’t asked after all. I lift my hand to stop him from speaking. “Forget it. You don’t need to tell me. I’m sorry.” I turn my head down and look away, staring at my hands resting in my lap. Staring at anything to stop me from looking at him.
Warm fingers slowly caress my jaw, turning my face upward to meet his. “Things weren’t always the way they are now at Silver. Actually, it wasn’t even called that in the beginning. I was a very different man from who I am now.” He blows out a harsh breath. “Before you ask, yes, I was just as much of an asshole.” He laughs, but his smile doesn’t meet his eyes. I can tell it’s forced and fake. “Back then, I dated a girl named Alexa. She was adventurous and beautiful . . . she had the world in the palm of her hands. She could’ve been anything.” He closes his eyes, pain etched in the creases in the corner of his eyes. When he opens them, the pain is even more evident. “She—died. I lost her.” I swallow the lump in my throat at that knowledge. Looking at me with conviction, he goes on. “I will help you.”
