“Grandpa said I was like Uncle Merlow, a Jessie!”
“Aye, well, yer grandfather was wrong. Yer Uncle Merlow is a fine man, and if ye’re like him that’s a grand thing. Something to be proud of.” God, he wished Merlow had stayed longer. His influence and example might have helped the lads, especially Callum.
He went on, “Ye’ll leave the punishing to me, ken?”
Callum pursed his lips.
“Callum?”
He nodded, but his eyes slid away as he did it, and Col had a queasy feeling in his gut. Callum’s genuine anguish earlier had cut deep. If Rory had intended to cause maximum pain to his little brother, he’d succeeded.
“Ye want to help me make dinner?” asked Aihan, distracting the boy. “I need someone to read the receipt out for me.”
Callum looked up. “What are ye making?”
“Forfar bridie.”
“My favourite!” Callum grinned at her. “Can we have carrageen moss fer dessert?”
“If we have the ingredients,” said Aihan, rising. Callum jumped up and followed her. She glanced at Col and nodded to him slightly, as if to sayI have this. You deal with Rory.
Col was grateful, but it didn’t help his dilemma over Rory. It was fast approaching the point where he wouldn’t be able to control him at all. In fact, he wondered if they were past that point already.I’ve lost my boy’s respect. How have I got to this point? And what the hell can I do to mend it?
In many ways, it was natural that Callum should think he favoured Rory over him, because he understood Rory better. But the truth was, Rory rubbed him the wrong way far more than Callum did. They were too alike. And he was actually harder on Rory, because he instinctively felt that he could take it, that he would in fact not respond to a more coddling manner. But he wondered if he’d gone too far with Rory.Or is it down to my father’s influence on the boy?
He had frequently disagreed with his father’s approach to parenting. His views on the reivers were a case in point, but the fact was, there were long stretches where he’d abandoned the boys to his father’s and Fergus’s care and lost himself in a black fog of despair and the bottom of a whisky bottle. The two years following Cat’s death were a blur to him, and by the time he’d emerged from the fog, a lot of the damage was done.
He went out to the stable because there was a hole in the roof that needed mending, and he’d been putting off fixing it. Doing something with his hands helped him to think. In the process of replacing the thatch, it occurred to him that this was the sort of task he ought to involve Rory in. But generally, whenever he asked Rory to do anything, it became a tussle of wills, and he had to force him to do it.
Aihan found him an hour later with a piece of plum cake and a cup of tea. He climbed down the ladder at sight of her.
“Thank ye, lass.”
She sat down on a hay bale beside him while he ate the cake, sipping her own tea.
“Callum still in the kitchen?” he asked.
“Aye, he cutting out pastry rounds for pasties.”
“Thank ye for what ye did there,” he said, waving the piece of cake.
She shook her head. “He in pain. Such pain. It hurt.”
“Aye,” Col winced at the memory of Callum’s anguish.
“The boys have no shifù.” she said.
“Shifù?”
“Teacher. How they learn?”
“A tutor, you mean?” Col sighed. “Cat taught them their letters and I taught them some basic arithmetic. Then they attended the local school for a bit. But when Cat died— I’m not sure what happened, but they stopped going at some point. I don’t remember. My father was never a great advocate of education, he thought it addled the brain. Or maybe it was just because of what happened with Merlow, I don’t know.
“Callum reads a lot, I guess he’s kind of continued his own education from my library. But you’re right; I should organise a tutor for him, he would benefit from that. Rory—he needs something else. I should be teaching him about the tenants and the Estate. It will be his one day. The truth is, I’ve neglected both of them.” He rubbed his face, guilt stabbing him in the gut.
“Not too late,” Aihan said, squeezing his hand.
“You think so?” Col grimaced. “I think it might be with Rory. I don’t know how to reach him.”
