“If the two sides of himself have been brought into conflict in this, a public arena, he would instinctively have retreated into ducal mode.”
She nodded. “I see. That explains why he was so different at Vauxhall,” she murmured. “Wearing a mask, he perhaps felt freer to be himself?”
“Undoubtedly. But to say ‘to be himself’ is probably not entirely accurate. He is the Duke of Troubridge as much as he is Robert Layne. They are two sides of the same coin. He manages them by having one at the fore in the appropriate situation. He runs into trouble when both surface at the same time or one surfaces in a situation that is inappropriate for it.”
“Thank you, Lord Ashford,” she said with a smile, proffering her hand.
He took it in both of his. “Please call me Emrys. There is nothing to thank me for. I am his friend and yours, too, if you’ll have me.”
“Indeed, you are a good friend!”
“He is a good man. Give him a chance, Sarah.”
Chapter Fifteen
The ball ranvery late, and Sarah and Daphne were pressed to stay the night, for the sake of propriety perforce to share a room. Which, given the nature of their strained relationship, was decidedly uncomfortable.
Based on the information Sarah had gleaned this evening, it seemed more and more likely that she had been wrong about Robert and that the blame for her entrapment lay squarely at Daphne’s feet. Her fury with the woman had abated not one whit, was in fact more surely stoked. It hurt that someone she had thought a friend should betray her so. It hurt even more because she felt so in need of a female friend to help her sort through her very confused emotions about Robert.
She rolled onto her side away from Daphne and tried to get comfortable. Light from the candle flame on the bedside table danced against the wall. She was tired, her feet and back ached, yet she couldn’t sleep.
“Will you never speak to me again, Sarah? It’s not very Christian of you.”
Sarah bounced up in indignation, her tiredness forgotten. “How dare you invoke Christian principles over me after what you did to me!”
Daphne sat up, pushing her night cap back off her face. “I did it for your own good!”
“You did it for your own benefit! I know exactly to theshillingwhat you stand to gain from it, so don’t you dare try to make this about me!” said Sarah.
“With you refusing him in a freak of distemper, what else was I supposed to do? Vicar’s daughters don’t refuse dukes when they propose! It’s unheard of!”
“Well, I did, and you had no right to interfere!”
“It is what Aunt Agnes wanted for you! I cannot believe you would throw over a fortune and the prospect of marriage to a man of Troubridge’s quality for some absurd notion that he doesn’t care for you! Particularly when it is obvious to the blindest of fools that he is more than a little enamored of you.”
“He doesn’t care for me!” Sarah’s deepest fear burst out. For whatever he said or did, that was the truth she always came back to.It is my money he wants. He is trying to make the best of it by being nice to me, and heaven help me it is working. I can feel myself falling for him all over again, but what will happen when he gets tired of pretending?“He isn’t enamored of me at all!” she insisted.Is he?Unable to resist asking, she said, “What makes you say so?”
“He is a very reserved gentleman, he is not going to wear his heart on his sleeve, Sarah.” Daphne retied the strings of her night cap. “Jerome says he truly esteems you, Sarah. He wouldn’t have made you an offer if he didn’t. He is notoriously fussy.”
“Jerome?”
Daphne looked coy. “Ravenshaw.”
Daphne’s flirtation with the marquess had progressed if they were on first name terms. It was a scandal. Papa would surely not approve of Daphne carrying on with the marquess under Sarah’s nose. Which just added to the weight of things she shouldn’t forgive Daphne for. But there was no one else to seek guidance from, and she desperately wanted some right now.
“I am aware that the duke has lowered his standards to offer for me,” said Sarah stiffly.
“Sarah, that is nonsense!”
“Is it?” Sarah wiped her eyes with the sheet. “Then why did he ignore me for most of the night?” Despite her conversation with Ashford, she wasn’t reassured.
“As the host, he was busy with his guests, you couldn’t expect him to dance attendance on you all night.”
“I didn’t—it’s just—” she stopped.
Daphne took her hand and patted it. “What? Did something happen between you that has made you think all these dismal thoughts?”
She had never missed her father so much in her life. He would know the right thing to do. She suspected he would prompt her to forgive Daphne, too, even though she wasn’t quite ready to do that yet. But she did need her advice.
