“No, I wasn’t.” Emrys looked into the middle distance, his gaze going out of focus. “I just never knew her. I thought I did, but—” He shook his head.
“It will be different with—?”
“Annis? Yes, I think so. We’ve some things to sort out yet, but I believe we’re on the right track. Marriage is a constant balancing act of compromise and small decisions that you make, mostly unconsciously, day to day. It pays to pay attention. That’s what I’ve learned. Don’t take things for granted, and don’t make assumptions. Get clarity. Talk.”
“Don’t look at me, old chap, I’m not planning to get married anytime soon,” said Ravenshaw, holding up his hands.
“What about you, Pendrell?” he asked.
“Chance’d be a fine thing,” rumbled the earl. “I’m looking for a needle in a bloody haystack. The woman I want doesn’t exist; I’m convinced of it. Or if she does, I’ll never meet her,” he said gloomily. “And even if I did, she probably wouldn’t have me.”
“You sound like Troubridge before he met his duchess,” said Ravenshaw. “To quote you back to yourself, you’re a bloody earl. Of course she’ll have you.”
The earl shook his head. “Not the one I want. You see she’ll care a damn sight more about antiquities than she will about my title.”
“Ah, good luck with that my friend,” said Ravenshaw nodding in understanding.
“Advertise,” said Emrys.
“What?” Pendrell squinted at him.Does the man need his spectacles all the time now?
“In one of those damned magazines you read so avidly. If you want a woman who shares your interests, reach out to her through a medium she will be reading.”
Pendrell raised his eyebrows. “You may have got something there. Thank you, I’ll think about it.”
After an hour of playing cards with his friends, Emrys made his way back to the ballroom. He missed his wife. Being away from her made him anxious.Is she coping? Does she need me?He hadn’t felt that way about Caro, but then Caro wasn’t new to thetonand afraid people would judge her for her background.
He looked for her where he had left her with the dowager, but she wasn’t there. He scanned the crowded ballroom for a green gauzy dress and found her dancing with Robert. An unaccustomed pang of jealousy shot through his chest.
Not that he was jealous of Robert—the man was devoted to his wife—but he was jealous that other people got to dance with her tonight while he couldn’t because of some stupid rule about mourning for a wife who had so wronged him. He clenched histeeth, a rumble of annoyance rolling through him. He really had been more grumpy than normal lately. His emotions were all over the place. Crying one minute, laughing the next. He was usually the most calm and easy-going fellow he knew. Not this irrational idiot who couldn’t control his impulses.
He wandered over to the dowager’s side and greeted her.
“All’s well I hope, ma’am?”
She waved her fan vigorously. “Yes, except for this infernal heat. I’m going to asphyxiate!”
“Would you like a turn in the gardens, ma’am?” he asked politely, really wanting to stay until Annis came off the dance floor.
“I would love to, but I cannot leave my post. I need to keep an eye on the girls. Not that Deborah is a worry—sweet girl and most obedient—but Ava!” The dowager duchess cast up her eyes. “That girl is trouble waiting to happen, I just know it!”
At this point, the music stopped, and the dancers began filing off the floor. “Perhaps Robert can take you for a stroll and you can deputize Annis and me in your stead?” he suggested.
“What a splendid notion, thank you. We won’t be too long, but I simply must get some fresh air. Robert!” She turned imperiously to her son as he bore down on them with his precious burden. Annis looked flushed but happy. His heart lifted at the sight. “Robert, you must take me for a turn in the gardens. I am like to expire in here! The Ashfords are going to keep an eye on the girls for me.”
“Good luck with that!” said Robert sotto voce and bore his mother off.
Emrys took Annis’s hand and smiled. “You’re enjoying yourself.”
She plied her fan, still catching her breath. “Yes, I am. I didn’t expect to, but the duke’s family are so kind. They have been mostaccepting of my change in status. I quite expected the dowager to arch up, but she never did.”
Emrys knew that Robert had had words with his mother about that very thing. What exactly he had told her to calm her down, he didn’t know, but she had been very nice to Annis ever since. He suspected it might have something to do with himself. The dowager had always had a soft spot for him. Unlike Ravenshaw, whom she barely tolerated. Pendrell, she treated like an overgrown schoolboy, which made the big man blush and stammer. Pendrell may be blunt in speech with his friends, but remarkably tongue-tied and awkward in company. He lacked the social graces.
Deborah appeared at their side, escorted by Hereward. “Would you ladies like a drink?” he asked. Since his own face was quite red, Emrys suspected this was not quite so selfless as it appeared. He must be cooking in that jacket.
“That would be delightful, thank you,” said Annis.
Deborah murmured something similar, and the big man plunged off to find refreshments.
