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Red slowly climbed into bed naked, rolled to her side with a cute little grunt and then awkwardly wiggled her ass backward until it was against him. He rolled to his side and spooned her, which was what she liked.
He hadn’t said it out loud, but he liked it, too.
She always used his upper arm as a pillow until his arm fell asleep and he was forced to move it. But until then, he let her use it.
Draping his left arm around her, he let his hand drift lightly over her now enormous belly. This kid had to be coming soon. And at the last appointment, he had taken the doctor aside when Red was using the bathroom to ask her how soon after she popped the baby out that they could have sex.
Dr. Carly advised it was best to wait four to six weeks.
Four to six fucking weeks...
Fuck.
She might be gone way before then.
It wasn’t as if he just wanted her to stick around for sex, he didn’t...
He could get sex anywhere. Maybe not the kind of sex he needed, but he could also find that if he looked hard enough.
The point was, he didn’t want to have sex with just anyone anymore. And, if Red stuck around, he was determined to find another outlet to handle the rest of what he needed.
She grabbed the hand he had laying on her belly and shifted it to where the baby was moving. It kind of fascinated him that she had a whole other person inside of her. Too bad that person was half Shirley.
“I’m ready for this to be over,” she said softly.
“I bet,” he murmured. Wondering how deeply he should read into that statement. “Kid ain’t fully cooked yet.”
When she whispered, “I wish this was your baby,” his chest got tight and his fingers flexed within hers.
And that would be a big fucking mistake if it was. He wouldn’t fool himself or even Red about that. He hadn’t been lying when he told her she didn’t know everything about him. She didn’t and probably never would. But there were some things she needed to know.
“Haven’t loved anyone since I was twelve years old. Not sure I’m capable of it anymore. A kid deserves love. You givin’,” he almost said him, but she didn’t want to know the sex of the baby, so he respected that, “it... to the doc and her hubby is for the best. This kid’s gonna be so fuckin’ loved, Red. Unlike alotta babies born, they want this one desperately.”
“I’m doing the right thing, right?”
She knew she was doing the right thing. And this wasn’t the first time she’d asked him that. In fact, he’d lost fucking count. But he got it. It was a huge fucking decision. One, as a woman, that had to be difficult to make.
Women were “expected” to be mothers and sometimes they shouldn’t be. He knew quite a few mothers who should’ve skipped that life decision, including his own.
He pulled his right arm from under her head since it was starting to tingle painfully, swept a lock of her hair off her cheek and pressed his nose into the rest of it. He had to admit that gay hairdresser had fixed her up, which had made her happy.
“You’re doin’ the right thing, Red. No fuckin’ doubt. And when the time’s right and you’re ready, they said you can get to know,” him, “it.”
“I don’t know if that would be good.”
She didn’t clarify for who, he assumed both the kid and her. But still... “You stay in Manning Grove,” he’s, “they’re gonna be hard to avoid.”
“I can’t stay here. I can’t risk them ever finding me.”
He didn’t want to hear that first part. He also planned on taking care of the second if Vernon Shirley and his cousin-son ever came off that fucking mountain. If it was up to Sig, he’d sneak up to their compound with a few containers of gas and a match.
“That’s your decision. You got us, Red. Don’t gotta go anywhere if you don’t wanna. We gotta make a deal with ‘em to keep you safe, we will.” If they don’t kill them all first, which was Sig’s preference. “Then you can stay close to... it. Just in case you wanna get to know it. To make sure he’s happy and loved.” Oh fuck. He slipped. He was afraid it was going to happen and it did. He fucked up. “Fuck, Red. I’m sorry.”
“It’s a he?”
Shit. He could just lie and say he was speaking in general terms but he really didn’t want to lie to her. He’d lied more times than he could remember in his life, so why he felt guilty about lying to Red, he didn’t know. Yeah, he did. He didn’t want to disappoint her if she found out he’d done it. And she would be disappointed because she said a few times now that she trusted him. And he didn’t want to break that trust. To him, her trusting him was everything.
