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Judge tipped his office chair back, looked up at the ceiling and blew out a breath. Then he scraped a hand over the freshly buzzed hair on his head.
Deacon leaned against the door frame to Judge’s office. “Damn, hope you didn’t pay a fuckin’ dime for that buzz job. It’s as short as my nut hairs.”
“Didn’t think you had any yet. Or that your fuckin’ balls even dropped. The other night Billie was tellin’ me she went to suck ‘em and couldn’t find ‘em.”
Deke grinned. “Don’t get what she saw in Whip, but whatever. Glad she stuck around. When I’m itchin’ for some weird shit, she’s always into it.”
“She told me that to find your balls, she needs to jam a finger up your ass.” Judge jabbed one of his thick fingers into the air. “Then she’s gotta hurry up and catch ‘em in her mouth before they disappear back into your vagina.”
“Damn, look at you usin’ all the big words, like vagina. Can you even spell it?”
“Yeah. D-E-A-C-O-N.”
Deke snorted, dropped his head and shook it.
Jury and Justice pushed past Deke and back into the office. Jury immediately planted her head in Judge’s lap for her required ear scratches.
Judge never denied her. She was the only steady bitch he ever wanted in his life. She’d never fuck him over like the two-legged kind.
“Any leads on that asshole?” Judge asked him.
Deacon moved into the office and dropped onto the couch along the opposite wall, kicking his boots up on the armrest and crossing his ankles. He twisted his head to stare at Judge, while Justice immediately jumped up and settled all eighty pounds of bulldog on Deke’s chest.
“Damn, dude, how many times I told you, you ain’t a Chihuahua.” But like normal, Deke didn’t push his dog off, instead he wrapped his arms around Justice holding him close. “Just watch the junk,” he warned the dog and turned to Judge again. “Yeah. Talked to a couple people in Williamsport who said they saw him. Gonna head back that way again tomorrow. Plus, gave them my number in case they spot him.”
“Got three days left to get his ass in front of that judge, Deke.”
His cousin shot him a thumb’s up and began to ruffle Justice’s ears. “Who’s a goooood boooooy?”
“You, if you catch that fucker.”
Deke raised an eyebrow. “Have I ever failed you before?”
“You wanna fuckin’ list?”
Deke grimaced and kissed Justice on the nose. The dog, in turn, licked Deke’s mouth.
“Fuckin’ dude.” Judge fake gagged. “He licks his fuckin’ balls all the time.”
Deke shot him a smile. “Don’t be a hater.”
“For him stickin’ his tongue in your mouth? Or for him bein’ able to lick his fuckin’ balls?”
“Both.”
“Probably put peanut butter on yours.”
Deke snorted. “Which is it? I don’t have any, or I have ‘em and make buckeyes outta them?”
“What the fuck are buckeyes?”
Deke’s brown eyes went wide. “The peanut butter balls dipped in chocolate... Wait... Mom never made ‘em for you?”
“If she had, wouldn’t be fuckin’ askin’.”
Deke grinned and folded his arms under his head. “Well, damn, Mom does like me better.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. Ever get the shits after eatin’ any of those buckeyes? Maybe that’s why she never made ‘em for me. I could be the son she never had.”
“Damn, that’s fuckin’ cold.”
“Anyway... Get that motherfucker and drag his ass in. Got a call ‘bout an hour ago from a bail bondsman up in New York.”
Deke pushed Justice off him and sat up. “For what?”
“Got a fucker who skipped on him and he figured since we’re licensed to hunt, he’d throw the job our way. White collar crime. Shouldn’t be hard to nab his ass. Can probably find ‘im out in front of Starbucks drivin’ a Volvo.”
“Why us?”
“’Cause the wifey also skipped town.”
Deke shook his head. “Yeah, and?”
“Yeah, and... She landed in Manning Grove.”
“So, she’s not on the lam.”
“No. My guess? She’s here probably puttin’ things in order for him. The bondsman’s figurin’ the hubby might show up soon, if he’s not in town already.”
“Sounds too easy.”
“No shit. And he offered twenty fuckin’ percent of the bond if we get his ass. All we gotta do is hold him ‘til the bondsman gets down here to haul him back up to Rochester.”
“We got nowhere to hold someone.”
“Sure we do. Not one of the rooms in the bunkhouse out at the farm got windows. We could throw him in an empty room and lock him the fuck in.”
Deke pursed his lips and ran a hand down his long mohawk braid. “Sounds like a plan. Want me to sit on the wifey? Or find the other asshole first?”
“Door number fuckin’ two. Time’s runnin’ out on him first. We got more time on this new one. But the bondsman’s gonna email the address of the fugitive’s sister-in-law. He’s pretty fuckin’ sure that’s where wifey ended up. I can swing by there later and see what I see. Maybe confirm she’s there and then, if needed, get Easy to sit on the house on overnights.”
