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This was happening.
She was having sex with a man who was not her husband.
She was having sex with a man she hardly knew.
Maybe she should feel guilty, but she didn’t.
She had given everything to Dennis. She had given everything to Daisy.
For once she was doing something for herself.
For once she was taking what she wanted.
Getting what she needed.
And she shouldn’t feel guilty about that at all.
She was a woman in her early thirties with wants and needs.
She wasn’t dead.
Judge was making her feel very much alive and appreciated as a woman.
But he didn’t enter her. He hesitated. Right there. At the spot which would only take a slight shift to connect them.
He deepened the kiss for a moment, then pulled away enough to search her face.
He was going to ask her if she was sure. If this was what she wanted. He didn’t need to ask because she gave him a small smile as an answer.
And that was all he needed.
He grabbed her wrists, pinned them into the mattress on either side of her head, kept his eyes on hers and thrust inside in one move.
Oh... shit...
He filled her, stretched her as he drove deep.
He wasn’t slow or gentle as she suspected he might be.
Hell no.
His grip tightened on her wrists and he kept their gazes locked as he powered up and into her over and over, a deep grunt escaping him at the end of each thrust.
“Fuck, baby,” he growled.
The power behind his movements shouldn’t surprise her, but they did. And maybe they should scare her, but they didn’t.
No.
It was then she realized the couple of years after Daisy was born, Dennis had been only going through the motions. But that had been all it was.
He’d been doing his duty.
The passion they had when they dated and then first married, had somehow dwindled to nothing. Something she used to enjoy immensely, only became a mindless act.
Why hadn’t she recognized it? Was it the same reason she never noticed Dennis was a gambling addict? Had she just ignored it all, put on blinders, not wanting to deal with it?
Had she just tuned it all out and lived life on autopilot?
She had wanted them to go to marriage counseling when he first confessed about being an addict. And now, as she thought back, she had been almost relieved when he refused.
It had given her an easy reason to walk away.
Easy at first, until things became messy...
“Cassie,” his deep voice washed over her, bringing her back to the present.
Her getting lost in the past wasn’t fair to Judge.
Dennis was her past. She needed to leave him there. Maybe Judge could help her do that.
“Okay?” he asked.
She gave him another small smile. “Yes.”
“Ain’t hurtin’ you?”
“No.”
“Need me to slow down?”
Her smile grew. “No.”
“Want you to come.”
They were on the same page about that. “I plan on it.”
His pounding paused. “Tell me what you need from me.”
Her smile disappeared. She’d never been asked that before. She had dated a lot of men before meeting Dennis, some were good in bed, some not so much. And while some cared if she came before they did, she couldn’t remember any of them asking her how they could make sure to get her there.
She usually had to tell them first if they didn’t know.
Was it weird that the man inside her right now—the man she had expected to just take what he wanted and not really care about how she got it herself—was more worried about her getting what she needed than anyone else she’d been with?
Maybe her type had been wrong for a long damn time.
Maybe.
But she hardly knew Judge. She shouldn’t make assumptions. He only asked her what he needed to do to make her come. It wasn’t like it was some life-changing thing.
Her life had already changed enough.
When he had stilled, he had done it partially inside her and now his erection flexed. Maybe with impatience.
“Havin’ second thoughts?”
Holy shit, by her losing herself in her thoughts, he saw it as rejection. That wasn’t even close. “Sorry.”
He shifted and slid free from her, his expression unreadable. “Yeah, me, too.”
“No... Judge...” She squeezed her eyes shut. She was bungling this all up. “I’m not having second thoughts. I want you.” She reached up and cupped his jaw. “I really want you,” she whispered. “My head is just messing with me. That’s why I apologized. Not because I don’t want this.” His jaw shifted under her palm. “I don’t want you to stop. Please...”
If she expected a positive reaction from him, she didn’t get it. Instead, he pulled away even further. “If you don’t got second thoughts now, gonna tomorrow.”
She frowned. “I’m here now. Naked. In your bed.”
“Been distant. Not with me.”
“Yes, that’s on me, not you. And I’ll say it again... Sorry.”
As he rolled off her, moving to her side, she also moved, rolling with him. And when he landed on his back, she immediately climbed on top of him.
