Page 80 of Perfect Satisfaction

“Wait.” I think about the issues. Probably ninety-five percent of them could use an outsider’s perspective and who better than this business expert? “You don’t mind?”

“I’m not striving for world peace or trying to take over a small country tonight. Plus I could use something to distract me.”

I laugh, thinking she’s making a joke, but she doesn’t laugh along with me. “Jesus, you’re not kidding.”

“We all have to get our kicks somewhere.” She props her chin on her hand. “Lay it on me.”

Unhesitatingly, I do.

Hours later, we move to the couch with computers, snacks, and booze. “This is where being cheap is going to affect your bottom line, Arek.” Sula points to a complicated mathematical equation on her screen.

“Who the hell are you calling cheap?” I sputter indignantly.

“You.” She taps the screen again. “Now focus.”

“Will you please explain what the hell I’m looking at?” I ask wearily.

“It’s a productivity equation I modified at MIT.” Just as I’m about to throw my notebook at her, she explains, “Look, most companies don’t give raises the same way external companies do. There are several problems with that. The first is the amount of time it takes to train a new person to the performance level of the old one. You automatically have to factor in down time.”

“Okay. That makes sense.”

“And, let me guess—you have nothing about your assistant’s job documented?”

“Why would I do that? Isn’t that her job?”

Sula’s head falls back in frustration. “I’m not even bothering to answer that. My point is that you would be starting fresh with someone else asking for more money.”

“That makes sense, but it doesn’t explain this complicated crap you’re shoving at me.”

“What this factors in is the basic productivity equation plus the additional weight of what an external company would pay in the current marked for insider data. That’s what this equation calculates.” She taps a nail against the screen.

It hits me at once what she’s talking about. “Risk. You found a way to quantify individual employee risk.”

“In part. There are always percentages to be adjusted based on industry.”

“That’s crazy brilliant, Ursula.” The compliment is easily given.

“Let me give you a very real scenario. This Nancy?”

“Yes. She’s been with StellaNova going on ten years.”

“She deserves a six-week paid vacation to the tropical island of her choice,” Ursula mutters.

I laugh. “I deserve that first.”

“That is your choice. You decide her fate and your companies,” she retorts. I realize how serious Ursula’s negotiating on behalf of a woman she’s never met. It touches me deeply. “In all this time, have you evaluated her job against your competitors and inflation? Have you learned more about her likes? Dislikes? What makes her tick? What days off are important?”

I’m ashamed to admit, “No, I haven’t.”

“Arek, this woman is your personal administrative assistant. She holds the keys to your kingdom. If she’s lured away by say—I don’t know—Sexy and Social.”

I laugh outright. “There is no way they can pay her what I do.”

Ursula ignores me. “They give her a reasonable market bump, then she will feel appreciated. What happens when she starts gossiping?”

“She has an NDA,” I croak weakly.

Sula snorts. “If you weren’t here right now, where would you be thinking all this through?”