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“Jem,” he began, his warm honey-like voice sliding over her skin. “Got a question for you.”
She already knew what he was going to ask. However, after what she just saw and with her disturbing reaction to him, she hoped he wouldn’t.
But he had no choice, he would ask it because he was putting his daughter above himself. Once he did, she would need to make a decision. She had previously made it after talking to Judge and Trip last night, but now she was second-guessing that answer.
“More like a favor,” he continued.
“Me coming home to help out is already a favor, but not for you. For my brother.” And for an innocent baby who hadn’t asked for what life handed her.
“Yeah, get that. It goes along with that.”
“If you’re asking me for a favor, it doesn’t.”
“Then this one would be for me, Jem. For Dyna.” He grimaced. “But I might not be able to pay this favor back.”
She already knew that. Even so, she wasn’t going to make this easy for him. Especially now. “Then, is it a true favor?”
He reached up, pulled the bandana off his head, closed his eyes and raked his fingers through his hair.
Doing so messed his hair up even more, but it fit him. That cocky, don’t-give-a fuck look. He’d look good in ripped jeans, a holey T-shirt and with a damn smear of grease on his face.
Some men could pull it off. Cage would be one of them.
Some women would find it panty-melting. Jemma was determined not to be one of those.
Not here. Not now. Not ever.
That should be her new mantra. A reminder she apparently needed.
However, his next words tugged at her heart, especially when he didn’t bother to hide the desperation in them. “If I gotta beg, I will, Jem. I can’t do this alone and do it right. Need to do it right. Don’t wanna fuck this up. Can’t fuck her up. I can’t.”
Oh God, it wasn’t a tug, he was reaching into her chest, ripping out her heart and squeezing it within his fingers. He wasn’t fighting fair.
“You’re going to fuck up, Chris. You will. It’s inevitable. Perfect parents don’t exist.” A parent who did their best despite screwing up was as close to perfect as one could be. Parents who recognized they made mistakes, and would make many more, but still provided for, protected, loved and cherished their child.
Being truly loved was more important than the latest gadget or toy.
From what Jemma saw so far, Cage seemed desperate to want to do his best. What his motivation was—either from the loss of his own mother or from something else, Jemma didn’t know—but it eased her worries a little bit.
“’Kay, then. Don’t wanna fuck it up too badly. Wanna do my best to give her a good life. So, I need to give her a good start.”
She stared at him for a minute. Maybe two. Ugh. She had this damn deep-rooted need to help people. She had no idea why because she certainly didn’t inherit it from Trixie or Ox. But that pull was why she became an RN. It was both a blessing and a curse. Right now, it felt like a curse.
Because just in the little bit of time she’d spent with the man before her, something about him drew her. She couldn’t figure out why or what, but it was there.
She was afraid to dig to discover what it was. Staying at Lottie’s at night and seeing him only in passing would make ignoring whatever that weirdness was between them easier. Living with Cage would not.
In a two-bedroom trailer, not much privacy existed.
“Are you going to ask?” If he got around to asking, she could say no and that would be that.
“Know you’re not stickin’ in town. I get why. Not only ‘cause of the past but the future. You’re a nurse, not a babysitter. But,” he inhaled deeply, “askin’ you... While you’re here... ‘Til you leave...”
Jesus, he was killing her. Should she put him out of his misery?
“You want me to move in here,” she said. Last night she hadn’t been scared to say yes. But today? It scared the fuck out of her.
“Yeah. I’ll give you the bigger bedroom, if you want. If you wanna stay close to Dyna at night. Or... whatever... whatever you want. I just... I just can’t... Don’t wanna do this alone. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doin’ and I’m scared to fuck it up.”
He wasn’t the only one scared right now.
She reminded him, “You could’ve stayed at Dutch’s if you didn’t want to do it alone.”
He pressed his lips together. “You saw what went on there. Got strange pussy comin’ in and out...”
Yes, Jemma wouldn’t like the idea of random strangers being around her baby, either. “When I leave, you’ll be on your own again,” she warned. Because no matter what this weirdness was between them, no matter how attached she got to Dyna, she was leaving.
