His admission left her cold. She pulled away from him and flinched at a cool breeze wafting over them. “When did you decide?”
“When we were standing over there.” He nodded towards the sea.
Agitation settled upon her. She sat up and was all too aware of her nakedness. She looked around for her shift and pulled it towards her, covering her breasts.
“What is wrong?” His hand went to her arm and she could not help pulling away.
“It was a question asked on impulse?”
“And nonetheless meaningful for it.” He sat up beside her, so she must avert her eyes from his sculpted form. Tears brimmed at her eyes again and this time she could do naught to stop them rolling down her cheeks. “Mirrie.” His face creased with concern. “I spent long days and longer nights thinking of you. Of us. Of how we could proceed. I thought that you would not want to rush into anything.”
But I rushed headlong into your arms!
She pulled the shift over her head and tugged it down over her body, feeling stronger the moment she was decently covered. “You should not have done it,” she muttered. “Weshould not have done it. I do not blame you, Tris. I was equally willing.”
“What are you saying?” Bewilderment chased through his eyes.
“I cannot marry you on a whim.”
“’Tis no whim.” His voice rose in consternation. “’Twas a decision reached after much soul-searching, believe me.”
“I cannot believe you. Not when you are known for thinking only of the moment.” It was difficult to pull on her tunic with hands that shook like saplings in a storm.
“I know that I am in love with you.”
They were the words she had longed to hear, yet she could not put her trust in them.
“When we stood over there.” She too pointed to the sea. “Before we both lost our wits. You said that youbelievedyou were in love with me.”
He put his fingertips to his temples and winced. “Aye, you’re right. I was finding my way, Mirrie. I’m no expert when it comes to declarations of the heart.”
The sincerity in his voice was almost her undoing.
“Can we not find our way, together?” His blue eyes looked at her beseechingly. He was all she had ever wanted. Offering her all she had ever dreamed of. But Mirrie’s insecurities, now awakened, would not be so easily quietened.
“’Tis too late for that.” Fully attired, she got to her feet, brushing the shingle from her clothes and praying that her trembling legs would hold her upright.
“Mirrie, where are you going?” He reached for his shirt.
“I am going away from you.”
At least, if she could manage it. The uneven ground coupled with her emotional distress meant the odds were stacked against a graceful departure. She furiously rubbed the tears from her eyes. Blurred vision was the last thing she needed. She took one step forward, then another, putting distance between herself and the man who had broken her heart. But she had scarcely made any progress to speak of before he caught up with her. His strong arms held her fast, so she could not escape.
“I do not understand.” He was clad only in his shirt, which was loose and unbuttoned.
She could not argue with a man in a state of undress. But she had no choice. He would not let her go.
“A proposal of marriage should be properly thought through.” She sniffed but met his gaze with a challenging one ofher own. “It should not be cobbled together just to give you an excuse to slake your lust.”
His hands dropped from her arms and she all but staggered to one side.
“That is what you think this is?” he asked quietly. “Nothing more than lust?”
“That is what I fear.” She put a hand to her heart, wanting to keep the grief inside.
“That is how little you think of me?” Tristan’s voice cracked. “Mercy, Mirrie. What must I say to make you believe me?”
“I don’t know.” Grief made her double over in physical pain.
