I
Maybe Everything Is Magic
Or not. I dunno. Whatever.
1
Coffee.
If you liked shitty days, you might have considered Jacob’s day to be perfect.
Like most humans, Jacob did not enjoy these kinds of days.
First off, he woke up well after he was supposed to. His first steps out of bed somehow involved him stepping on both a cockroach and a bottle cap. The shower was ice cold, and he even tried to put on his shirt like pants.
Already late for work he rushed outside not checking the weather and found himself stuck in a downpour like God themselves was projectile vomiting with the recklessness of a freshman. When he’d tried to get back in, he realized that he’d locked himself out and was now stuck trudging to the bus stop in far too little clothing for far too much rain.
The air was thick with that cold sticky feeling that plasters to you like cling film. The bus was supposed to come ten minutes ago, but if the weather was any indication, it likely just said fuck it and went home instead.
The bus stop was crowded, but not with people. Inside the stop was bursting with odour, but as to whether that was from the unhoused individual who was sleeping on the bench, or the raccoon cuddled at his feet was anyone’s guess.
He’d brought his emergency umbrella in his bag, but within seconds of opening, a gust of wind had blown it straight intotraffic where it had pierced through a child’s stuffed bear like a shish kabob. Luckily it had missed the child, but the bear would never recover.
Finally, after waiting for way too long in way too wet he felt a part of him die. His resignation at a peak, he sat on the sidewalk and felt the rain puddling around him. He wondered how much rain he could stand before he simply dissolved into nothing.
It wasn’t fair. He was trying to do the environmentally responsible thing and this was how climate change had decided to fuck specifically him. It was cruel. It was unusual. And it was very typical.
To call himself unlucky would be generous.
To be fair, Jacob had always been a jinx. If he was notorious for anything, it was his terrible luck.
There was nothing particularly special about him. His looks were fine enough. His height was average. His weight wasn’t of particular note one way or the other. Straight women would consider him thin, gay men less so, but not enough to leave a significant impression.
His best features were his eyes that were a sparkling amber, and he had a short beard that he hoped made him rugged and distinguished. It almost worked. But as a package, he was a rather bland individual - a human personification of tapioca. Perhaps that’s where his neuroses began, but it certainly wasn’t where they ended.
When the bus finally bothered to show up, he was already a half hour late for work. He knew that this would mean trouble but at this point he really didn’t care. Being a barista in the big city meant that no matter what he did, he would be yelled at- the only question was would it be from the customers or his boss. Both were equally unpleasant.
Sloshing into the store, he quickly raced to the back and tried to make himself presentable. He wasn’t going to succeed but hehad to at least try.
He used a small reflective french press to try to fluff up his hair- it didn’t work too well, but at least he didn’t look quite as terrible as he had before. Hopefully.
After a few moments his cohort Serena walked in on him pantsless using a towel to dry his groin. It was a tiny towel that they used to sweep up coffee grounds, so at least he would smell like he belonged here.
In many ways Serena was beautiful- long brown hair, a sweet smile and big green eyes that sparkled with mischief and sass. Today her hair was done up in a ponytail, and in another life she looked like she could’ve been a Popstar. She was smarter, and more capable than Jacob, but for some reason still put up with him. Maybe he reminded her of a younger brotheror maybe she just pitied him.
Upon seeing Jacob drying himself she paused for a moment and smirked.
“At least you’ve got underwear on this time.” She shrugged as she whisked by to the bean wall.
“Don’t start please. I’ve had a shit morning.” Jacob grimaced. He hated being caught with his pants down. It happened far too often.
“I can tell. You don’t normally look this miserable until 3pm.” With a grunt, he grabbed one of the spare uniform shirts on and attempted to make himself presentable. Despite his best efforts he still felt sticky and wet- and the shirt was uncomfortably tight.
“Does Garret know I’m late?”
“He’s still in his office. I covered for you. You’re fine.” Serena said, dabbing at Jacob’s face with a towel.
“I owe you one.”
