“Well, considering I just showed up, I’d say you’re going through your little witchy awakening. Think of it as your coming of age.” Teddy chuckled to himself. “Coming.”
“But you said I’m a witch?”
“You are a witch. A boy witch, which by the way, I am still totally fine with. Not a problem at all. I’m not my uncle. We have space for boy witches here.”
“But I’m not-”
“Look- divine destiny or whatever has called upon you for your gift to activate and so here I am. Your companion into thewonderful world of witchdom. You must be a witch because I am here. If you weren’t I wouldn’t be. Make sense?”
“But I…” Jacob began, but Teddy cut him off with a frown, which Jacob did not know seagulls could give.
“What were you expecting? A transphobic owl?” Teddy sassed.
“I don’t know. This is all just-” Jacob looked down at his hands as if expecting them to burst into flames. “It’s all a bit hard to believe.”
“Trust me, you wouldn’t have been my first pick either princess. Consider yourself lucky to get someone as wise and experienced as me on your side.” Teddy clucked as he ate what he hoped was rice.
“So magic is real?” Jacob asked after a long pause.
“Again - do I need to be using smaller words for you? It’s cool if so, I just need to know-”
“No, I know, it’s just- It’s all a little hard to believe.”
“Well, believe it or not, it’s happening fuck chucks.” Teddy clucked.
Jacob looked down upon his hands as if he was expecting lightning bolts to leap out of them. Or bolts of energy. Or money to spontaneously appear. But nothing happened. He frowned. Teddy seemed to notice.
“What?” Teddy inquired.
“So what can I do?” Jacob asked.
“Well…that’s where things get a little fuck-uppery. You might be a witch who can blast beams of light out of your hands to destroy the world. Or maybe you can talk to animals-” Jacob was about to say something when Teddy shut him down. “Not me- I don’t count. I’m a companion. Do you have any animals close by?”
Jacob looked down to see a cockroach crawling by, but as soon as he saw it, Teddy ate it.
“Hey! I was going to try to talk to it.” Jacob exclaimed.
Teddy looked at him with a frown- again, did not know thatseagulls could do that.
“To say what exactly?” Teddy pressed.
“…Fuck off?” Jacob shrugged.
“Yeah, that doesn’t work on bugs. Barely works on people. Doesn’t work at all on politicians…but then again I’ve already said it doesn’t work on bugs.” Teddy pondered.
“Oh fuck!” Jacob exclaimed so loud that Teddy jumped.
“Jesus! What?” Teddy squawked. “You die or something?”
“Worse! I’m late for work!”
5
Americano.
“I think people will notice.” Jacob frowned. He stared in the mirror as he was preparing to go out on the floor in his uniform. It was mostly normal, but Teddy was standing on his shoulder.
“Nah. Not at all.”
