I’mpissed. At him. At myself for allowing it to get this far.
How could he not understand that?
Why is he makingmesay it?
He blinks, still not letting go, as if he knows what I’m about to say—like he’s been waiting for it.
I could’ve gotten lost in his midnight blue eyes if I wanted to, but I can’t get lost in him now.
“You’re married,” I say bluntly, my voice edged with something dangerously close to anger. “Rylee told me. Lily Vance is your wife, but you’re here kissing me.”
Grayson pauses. His hand drops.
For a moment, he says nothing. His expression shifts, unreadable—not guilt, not regret, just calculation. Like he’strying to find the right words. The right spin. That pisses me off even more.
My chest tightens. My skin burns.
“Say something, Grayson,” I demand, hating the sound of my own voice as it cracks with anger. “Tell me this isn't what it looks like. That you didn’t just make me the other woman.”
“We’re separated.” His voice is quiet, measured, but there’s an undeniable weight behind it. “We’ve been separated for months now. We haven’t signed the final papers yet—we couldn’t until we got through the six month separation period that the state requires. But now we have and we both know it’s been over for a long time. And you… fuck, Mia. The things you do to me—it just makes everything clearer. It’s finished with her. It’s just not finishedon paper.”
I don’t know what to say.
Is there anything to say?
Before he can make it any worse, I’m off the bed and out in the hallway, back towards my room. I only hope that he won’t follow me, because what just happened… it can’t happen again, even if I desperately want it to.
Shutting the door behind me, back in the safety of the room that isn’t mine, I release the pent up breath I’d held in my lungs that I hadn't realized was there. I wish for the millionth time since I arrived that I had never come to LA, that I hadn’t seen Grayson again, that I could just continue to live in my own world, one without the man of my dreams and his absentee wife.
Because even if I walk away now—even if I pack my bags and leave tonight—I won’t be able to forget. Maybe I’m making a bigger deal out of the entire situation than what it really is, but it doesn’t feel that way to me. Every feeling has always felt larger than life—not just about Grayson. About every hard thing I’ve ever been through.
I’ve loved Grayson… forever. Since I was fourteen years old, back when he was just the boy across the street and I was just the girl who didn’t stand a chance, I’ve loved him. I thought I’d let go of that fantasy a long time ago.
But when he kissed me… it didn't feel like a fantasy anymore. It felt real.
It felt like everything I’ve ever wanted—except for the fact that he still belongs to someone else.
Even if he claims it’s just on paper.
Once I deem it safe to leave my room, I grab my laptop out of one of my bags and the memory card from my camera, heading out to the second floor balcony. I need to get my head on straight, I think that feeling the ocean air against my face will help me get there. Just when I get settled into one of the absurdly comfortable chaise lounges, I hear the door open from behind me. I cringe slightly, hoping with all my heart that it isn’t Grayson.
I can’t deal with him—not yet.
“Please, don’t tell me you’re working,” Brandon’s voice says.
I release the tension in my shoulders and turn to face him as he finds his way to the chaise lounge beside mine.
“Not really,” I shrug. “I just wanted to see if I got any quality shots from the shows.”
“That still counts as work,” he chuckles. “Why don’t you come in and hang out with the rest of us?”
“I don’t… I can’t.”
I don’t really want to have the conversation of why not, but maybe I need to. Maybe if I talk about it, it will start to make more sense.
“Why?” Brandon asks. “Because of Grayson? Rylee filled me in some, but I don’t know much. Why don’tyoutell me?”
“He’s… infuriating,” I sigh. “The entire situation is infuriating. It’s not like I came here to see him, or even expected that I would. It was just a huge coincidence. Now I have, and everything’s just… a mess. It’s like I’m the kid with the crush on the older guy all over again.”
