“That is a fantastic question,” Tony grins.
“We’re going to San Francisco tomorrow for a show at a music festival,” Brandon tells us, the excitement clear in his voice. “Then, the next day, we’ll be flying to New York to start the first leg of our next tour!”
San Francisco and New York City… two places I’ve never been before.
It’ll be more traveling in a matter of days than I’ve done in my entire life. I wonder how many other amazing places I’ll get to see because of touring with Grayson and the band. Even through my career, I’ve made a habit of staying close to home until now.
I’m truly in for the ride of my life.
Chapter eighteen
"Atlas Hands" - Benjamin Francis Leftwich
Grayson
I’ve noticed a change in my sister since I returned from Dallas.
When I asked her for help with the Hollywood sign project for Mia, she seemed so much softer and calmer, unlike her usual high-strung, overwhelming presence.
We’re all seated in the living room, waiting for Rylee and Mia to join us. Johanna sits in one of the loveseats by herself, and instead of her usual attire of all designer clothing, she wearssimple black leggings, an oversized gray t-shirt, and her hair is tied up in a ponytail. If she’d been standing, she would’ve been her normal height, rather than towering over me in the heels she usually sports.
She looks more like one of us now.
It’s a side of her I don’t think I’ve seen since she was in college, and it’s refreshing. It’s what made me decide she should join us on our tour.
Once Mia and Rylee arrive, we announce the upcoming shows in San Francisco and New York. I’ve always loved being on the road, but this time it’ll be even more special because Mia will be with us. I can’t think of a better way to introduce her to what life is like with me than to take her on tour.
After making sure everyone’s on board, we pack everything up and hand our instruments and performance equipment off to our road crew. While they drive everything up to San Francisco, we’ll be flying so we can get there in time to do all of the meet-and-greets and pre-show festivities.
As we sit on the plane to San Francisco the next day, I glance at Mia beside me. The plane begins to move and she tenses, her eyes closing tightly. She’d done it the last time we’d flown together, too.
“Not a fan of flying?” I ask her, a small smile on my face.
“I just haven’t done a lot of it,” she admits. “My mother didn’t like to travel, so we didn’t go anywhere that we couldn’t drive to growing up.”
I can’t help but think about my own mother after Mia mentions hers. So much has been going on with getting mydivorce papers signed, then going after Mia. That’s where my focus has been. I thought everything would be better once Mia and I were together, but there’s still the issue of my mother’s illness that I haven’t allowed myself to fully come to terms with.
“Are you okay?” Mia asks, pulling me out of my daze.
I debate not telling her, keeping everything to myself, but that’s what I did with Lily.
I don’t want anything about how I am with Mia to be anything like how things were with Lily.
She needs to know about this.
“It’s my mom,” I say. “Johanna hasn’t been here because of a job. She came here to tell me our mom has terminal cancer. She says it’s so bad she couldn’t watch it anymore, so that’s why she’s here. I told you I haven’t talked to my mom since I left home when I was eighteen. I don’t know what to do, or how I’m supposed to feel.”
Mia’s eyes soften. “Gray…”
“Tell me how I’m supposed to feel about this,” I beg her. “Because I really don’t know. I only feel the guilt eating at me for not feeling anything at all.”
“Youarefeeling something,” she says. “Guilt is better than truly not feeling anything at all. Feel the guilt in its entirety; it’s the only way you’ll be able to accept it and move through it.”
I know she’s right. The guilt is there for a reason, and I need to figure out what I’m going to do with it.
“Thank you, beautiful,” I murmur.
Mia squeezes my hand. “Whatever you need, I’ll be right here.”
