"You forget yourself, Britaxia." His voice was deep and dark, each word seeming to land with more authority than it should have. "You forget you'respeaking to your Lady. You forget that you have no allegiance above Darkwatch."
I moved, knowing I should not.
Aben reached for me, but I had surprised him, and he was too late as he reached out. I heard him hiss, "Aelia, stop you'll—"
And then I was between them, pushing Io back. I had surprised him as well and he moved, looking down at me in shock. "Stop it!" I shouted.
He caught my hands where they were shoving against his chest. The expression of anger on his face bled away. His mouth twitched, amusement dancing in his dark eyes.
I was too angry at him for his bullshit to notice as I shoved again.
"I don't need you to fight my battles for me, girl," Britaxia said behind me, her words laced with venom.
I whirled on her. "Well that's just too damn bad. And you don't have any right to be angry at me—as if I have any fucking control over what's happening in my life."
Iwas truly angry by then—angry at him, angry at her, and really fucking angry at myself that I had barely even made a protest as this man decided to take me where he wanted me to go—because I knew what kind of horrible person I really was, that I was so glad to allow it.
"It certainly didn't sound like anyone was forcing you to do anything last night," Britaxia said, her lip curling in disdain. "The entire brothel heard your screaming. It's probably what drew in those fucking hellhounds."
Anger blazed through me like an inferno. I moved to her, nearly chest to chest even though I had to look up at her. "Jealous, Taxia? Is Aben not makingyouscream so much these days?"
Aben's snort of laughter behind me momentarily distracted me from the woman in front of me. Britaxia reached out with a wall of air that I knew was intended to knock me off my feet. It didn't.
It pushed my hair back, gently, even as I heard Io's startled grunt as he was forced to brace himself against the assault of her magic.
Britaxia's look of surprise was enough satisfaction to cool some of my ire and I nearly, very nearly, stepped back.
"Fucking bitch," she said, so low it was nearly under her breath.
I reached up with the flat of my palm and hit her. I heard a dull pop as the base of my hand broke her nose.
She stumbled, hands rising to cover her face as she fell back into the snow.
"Fuck me," Aben muttered on a startled exhalation.
I looked down at her. "I know you're only angry because you love them all. I understand that better than you think. But don't somehow believe that I am not also acting with the same gods damned motivation, Britaxia."
She rose, and I saw a trickle of blood streaming down from one of her nostrils.
Io stepped forward as though to move between us, and I gave him a warning glare.
Britaxia glared back at me, and then at Io behind me. She looked like she would speak again, but Aben stepped up to her, cradling her face in his hands. "Tax, darling. Let's go."
I saw desperation and heartache on her face as she nodded. Aben pulled the sleeve of his undershirt from the corner of his fur coat and gently wiped away the blood.
Guilt and shame crashed over me for what I’d done. I could not blame her, not even slightly. Everything she said was true. Everything I was doing was wrong.
I was on the point of desperately apologizing when Io stepped to my side, catching my eye with a slight shake of his head. He felt the shame and regret pouring off me and sensed the apology that was forthcoming. He was warning me not to do it.
He must have known it would not be well-received. He knew her much better than I did, so I kept my mouth closed.
Aben turned to us and put his big arms around both our necks, his head between us. "Be careful, brother," he said to Io, and then turned to me. "And Aelia, remember what I said."
He turned and led Britaxia away across the snow-covered ground, heading toward their dragons.
After we had watched Melor and Iaxis take to the skies and race away north toward Orin, Io turned to me. "I'm really fucking sorry, Sera. I'm sorry that you feel like you don't have a say in your life."
I stared up at him, recalling the words I shouted at Britaxia. Despite myself, I began to feel guilty that they made him feel bad. What the fuck was wrong with me? Shouldn'thefeel guilty for what he was doing?
