God?She looked up at the pale afternoon sky. “Protect Charlie?”
The whispered words barely made a sound against the breeze, but stating them aloud somehow helped ease the ache around her heart a little. She finished up with Charlie and then, when he'd fallen asleep, braced herself for a trip to the general store.
But neither Mr. nor Mrs. Berry made any comment about her relationship to Charles Morgan, and Mrs. Berry even held Charlie so Kizzie could try on a few of the ready-made clothes and shoes before purchasing them.
By the time she made it back to the house, the wind had picked up, tossing a few flurries around like autumn leaves. She settled Charlie in his cradle and then took care of the horse and buggy, her movements growing slower by the minute after having used more energy in this one day than she'd done since Charlie's birth. By the time she made it into the house, snow covered the ground, crowding her vision with large, fluffy flakes.
She jerked off her gloves as she stood on the porch steps, and then caught a few flakes in her palm. Snow. White. Clean. Beautiful. Turning the world into a wonderland of crystal and ice.
For some reason, she smiled.
She wasn't sure why.
But the moment reminded her of sweeter times, of roasted chestnuts and music around a fireplace. Of corn-shuck dolls and whispered secrets between sisters. Of piggyback rides and long winter walks.
Of family and love.
And hope.
Her heart squeezed in her chest, and she looked up into the sky, the cool flakes kissing her face.
“I don't know if You still hear me, but if You do … well, I'd just like to know. Because it wouldn't feel quite so lonesome if I knew You heard me. Do You even hear the prayers of … of … kept women?”
Her heart pricked against the name.
A verse she'd heard seemed to whisper to her across the wind.Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.
She paused on the thought as she turned toward the door.Keep.
What would it be like to know God kept her, instead of thinking about the idea of how Charles “kept” her?
The wind swirled the flurries around her, and she breathed in the cool air, the tightening in her chest a little looser. After another look around at the wintry landscape, she slipped inside the house and closed the door.
Chapter 4
THEY SHOULDN'T ALLOW FOLKS LIKEher to own a shop. And allowin’ them women to say such things to you?” Nella scrubbed at the pot in her sink as Kizzie helped Isaac with his math homework. “Ain't nobody should go around advertisin’ their own meanness.”
“But they're right, Nella.” Kizzie turned toward the woman, lowering her voice. “If Charles don't have no mind to marry me, but he keeps me nearby, don't that make me what she says I am?”
“I reckon that depends on what you're doin’ when he comes to see you,” Nella murmured beneath her breath. She gave her head another shake. “Has he paid a visit since you got into the house?”
Nella's answer pinched at Kizzie's conscience, but what else could Kizzie do? Where could she go? She was alone in the world. But … but surely, Charles loved her. After getting her the house and clothes and … the baby! “Not yet. But he sent a wagonload of firewood by way of the Simpkin boys.”
A huff came from the woman. “You've been there a week now.” Another round of mutterings followed, and then Nella placed her palm on the counter and turned, her apron dotted with water. “Well, you might as well come on over here for Sunday lunches from this point on. Ain't no cause for you to stay in that house all by yourself when we're only half a mile away.”
Maybe Kizzie wasn't so alone after all.
Her smile pricked up a little, embracing the sweetness of Nella's request. “I don't want to intrude on your family.”
The woman spun around with one sudsy hand on her hip. “You think I'd ask if it was an intrusion?”
That raised brow of hers forced any argument dead on Kizzie's tongue. “You're in need of company, and I can't thank you enough for being willin’ to help the young'uns and me and Joshua with learnin’ math. Joshua's already started shortening his time on workin’ the books, and we've made a few good decisions on ways we can cut costs to save more money.”
“I wish you lived along the main road, ’cause it would be a good location for a shop. And the property where my house sits near the river would be a fine spot for a gristmill. The nearest one is at least five miles up the way.”
“Joshua worked for nearly ten years before he came to tenant here.” Nella's eyes brimmed with pride. “He learned the work and ain't afraid of startin’ from scratch if it will be his own.”
Owning land brought its own sense of pride with it too. She knew all too well from back home. A family's land was all they had, and it was prized above almost anything else except family … and faith, for those who were churchgoin’ folks.
