She hadn't wanted to believe it of Charles. Not when he'd swooped in with his smile and his lovely words and his warm kisses, but if he'd really loved her, wouldn't he care? Wouldn't he have dropped his plans and come to help her sort out this situation instead of arranging to send someone else?
Her eyes burned with fresh tears. Maybe she and Charlie really were on their own after all.
She frowned. Better to be practical now. Sensible.
Instead of having silly romantic notions.
Her gaze flitted to the horizon, where the sun was pushing through the clouds, tugging her heart heavenward. If only … if only God could love her even now.
She turned the buggy toward Joshua and Nella's house, forcing her thoughts away from dreaming about the impossible and her heart away from grieving whatever loss she felt with Charles. Neither did any good.
And then her attention caught on a small tuft of white pushing up through faint remnants of the most recent snow. White as the snow, a few tiny petals of winter pansies nudged skyward, bowing a little in the breeze but continuing to rise back in place between each gust.
The sight of them paused Kizzie's self-flailing and downward spiral.
Winter pansies.
A simple little wildflower and yet, the way it rose toward the light despite the snow and wind captured a part of her doubts and wouldn't let go.
Like … hope.
But was there any reason to hope?
Her gaze moved back to the sky as sunbeams filtered through the clouds and bathed the earth in a dance of gold.
She shouldn't hope. She'd only fail again. Or someone else would fail her.
But her heart refused to release the tethered scraps of it.
She breathed out a long breath. “I know I ain't got no right to talk to You. And by all accounts, You may not want to listen to someone like me, but if there's anything I can do to make You love me, Lord, I want to try. I … I ain't got nobody else. And I need You. Even if it's just the leftovers of Your love, I reckon they're better than a feast anywhere else. I'll take the scraps.”
The sunrays moved toward her approaching buggy, bathing her face in warmth for a moment, offering a teensy bit more hope than she'd had a moment before.
Maybe, just maybe, she wasn't too lost after all.
Chapter 6
JOSHUA WASN'T AT HOME,BUTNella took the information with a tightened jaw and nod. “I was hopin’ it wouldn't come to this.”
Air left Kizzie's lungs in a rush. “What do you mean?”
“Joshua says Cain Peterson ain't too pleased with Mr. Charles moving him and his family from their home, and not just because it was one of the nicest houses on the Morgans’ land.” She pounded the dough she was working on the table with a little added force. “The location gave Cain a good spot for his liquor runs from the mountains to town.”
Liquor. She knew all too well the danger of getting between a man and his drink. Had grown up knowing it. A drunk was dangerous. Unpredictable. Mean.
She lowered herself into the nearest chair, Charlie in her arms. “So he wants to frighten me away?”
“I don't see how it's gonna help him none.” Nella looked up, her hands deep in the dough. “If Mr. Charles finds out Cain is tryin’ to scare you, Cain'll not only lose his home, but his position too. It can't be a clearheaded choice for him, no matter who he thinks he knows in high places.” Her attention fixed on Kizzie. “You got a gun?”
Kizzie's face went cold at the implication. “No.”
“I'm not sayin’ you'll need one.” She started kneading the dough again. “But it'd be smart to have one, even if it's only to scare away coyotes.” Nella stared out the window, her mouth pressing into a firm line before she looked back at Kizzie. “Here's what we're gonna do. Cain and his folks won't do nothin’ in daylight. That's how meanness likes to work best, ain't it? In the dark. So I'm gonna send Joshua and Isaac over this evenin’. I know Isaac's got a heap of math questions for you. And I won't be one bit surprised if Joshua don't give you a rifle and leave Boss with you.”
Kizzie's gaze swept to the largest of the Chappells’ three dogs, and the only one allowed in the house, as he lay in front of the fireplace in the next room. If the size of the animal didn't scare folks, his bark certainly would. “I can teach ’em a math lesson while they're there.”
Nella's chin dipped in assent. “Sounds good.”
A twinge of guilt roused Kizzie to defense. “Charles said he'd come tomorrow afternoon.”
