“I don’t even care,” Justin stops me. “Whatever happened between you and Caleb doesn’t matter to me. All I care about is whether or not I’ve completely lost you.” He steps toward me, taking my hands. “Have I been so absent that I lost you?”
I blink back at him. What is even happening? Five minutes ago, I had written off my love life completely, and now, Justin is in my apartment, looking at me like he used to, like he reallywantsto look at me.
“Summer?” he prods.
“Sorry.” I shake my head. “I’m just so confused. Did I ruin your and Caleb’s relationship?”
“No. In fact, we’re better than ever.”
Better than ever?
“How is that possible?”
“Come sit down, and I’ll explain everything.” He tugs me over to the couch, pulling me to sit next to him. “I’ve been a distracted idiot who took you for granted. I know that now. But I don’t want to be that guy anymore. I want us to go back to how things used to be before,when I wasn’t so bogged down with work.” He smiles perfectly, squeezing my hand. “I love you, Summer.”
This isn’t the first time Justin has said that to me, but it does feel like one of the more sincere times.And although the sincerity is there, I’m lacking something. Fireworks maybe? The jolt of excitement I should feel when the man I love tells me he loves me too.
“What about Caleb?”I ask.
Probably not the best response after all the sweet things Justin just said to me. But I can’t help it. Caleb’s face was the first thing that flashed through my mind when Justin said he loved me.
“Don’t worry about Caleb. He already said he was standing down. From now on, it will just be you and me.”
“Caleb said that? He said he was ‘standing down’?”
I hoped he would do the opposite, tell Justin he has feelings for me and fight for a chance to stay in the game. Unless he doesn’t have feelings for me. Unless this whole swap was a game, a way to stay entertained while in Telluride.
“Yeah, Caleb knows he overstepped his bounds.”
Overstepped his bounds. Standing down.
I thought—wondered—for a second if Caleb was the better brother for me. But it doesn’t matter if he’s the better brother for me. He’s standing down. He doesn’t want me. I should be happy about that. Happy because Justin is the steady one—the brother you marry. I was getting confused, but Caleb’s disinterest clears everything right up. And I hate how much it hurts.
“So can you forgive me if I promise to never let my work come between us again?”
I blink back at him, willing my head and my heart to forget about Caleb.
“What about my family? They mean the world to me.”
“I know, and I promise to try harder to get to know them better.”
“And all my family parties?”
“I’ll be there. Just make me a copy of that calendar you gave Caleb, or I’ll just go steal it off his nightstand since he won’t be needing it anymore.”
Caleb still has my calendar? He acted like he lost it. What am I saying? It doesn’t matter. He’s probably already thrown it in the garbage and moved on from spending time with me like he moves from one trick to the next. I have to focus on Justin.
“I don’t want you just to be there at my family functions. I want you to interact.”
“I will.” He lies back, pulling my body with him so we’re cuddling on the couch. “I promise I’ll be more present when I’m around them. You don’t have to worry, Summer. This whole experience woke me up. I’m ready to be the man you want.”
The man I want.
Justin kisses my forehead, and I smile up at him, even though in the back of my mind I know Caleb’s really the man I want.
Too bad he doesn’t want me back.
thirty-five
