He pulls his hand away, rubbing it across his forehead. “I don’t have time to fight about this right now.” There’s a tiredness behind his words that I relate to. It’s exhausting having this same argument over and over or ignoring the argument because there’s never a fair way to resolve it. Or because we’re too busy to get to the bottom of it.
“I’m not trying to fight. I just…” My words dangle between us like the problem itself.
It’s just temporary.
Things will get better when his business is more established.
His drive and ambition are what you love about him.
Being in a relationship is a give and take, and right now, it’s your turn to give a little more.
We’re great together, and we will be again when the dust settles.
Once he gets to know your family, he’ll love them and vice versa.
I’ve repeated those words so many times over the last nine months that I don’t think I’m even hearing them anymore.
“Listen”—he shifts his eyes back to me—“I’m not trying to disappoint you. I’m just really busy right now and need to focus on my business. I’m not saying that your traditions are stupid or that I don’t want to get to know your family. I’m just saying I have to work to build a future so that, one day, I can provide for a family. Be patient with me while I do that.”
My eyes drop. I’m usually pretty understanding of Justin’s work schedule and everything he’s putting into his business to make it successful. It’s admirable, but that doesn’t mean there’s not an aching in my chest. It doesn’t mean I don’t hate the canyon in our relationship and that we’re standing on opposite sides of the divide with no easy or fair way to meet in the middle or close off the gulf.
He hooks his finger under my chin, lifting my eyes to meet his. “What are you thinking?”
“Just how hard it is to be patient when I want you all to myself this holiday season.”
His thumb drifts across my cheek, and his lips hitch in a perfectly charming way. “Aren’t I worth the wait?”
I begrudgingly smile while I roll my eyes. “Yes, you are.”
He is. I know he is. That’s what everyone else doesn’t see—what an incredibly sweet, kind man he is.
“Then can you share me with work the next few weeks even though you love this time of year with your family more than anything else?”
My shoulders sink. I’m a toddler, pouting because my mom won’t let me eat dessert before my string beans. I don’t want to be this needy woman. I want to be the kind of girlfriend who supports my man no matter what, because Justin is a good guy—the best guy I’ve ever dated. Don’t sacrifice what you want most in life for what you want right now, and a future with Justin is what I want most. So I can’t screw up the best relationship I’ve ever been in because I’m not gettingallthe attention. Being patient this holiday season is key to making us last.
I just have to keep reminding myself that.
Every. Single. Day.
“You’re right.” I muster a smile. “You need to work. It’s unfair of me to ask you to take so much time off right now. I mean, these are just silly holiday traditions that shouldn’t mean so much to a twenty-six-year-old. I can go alone.”
I’ll hate every second of it, but I can do it.
“Your traditions aren’t silly. I love that you care so much about them and your family and want me there.” My smile lifts a little with his words. “Like you said, you love this. So I want you to go and enjoy yourself tomorrow at the tree farm. You don’t need me there to have a good time. You’ll have your sisters. Plus, it’s better if I work so I can take more time off on Thanksgiving Day. Okay?”
Right. I’ll have my sisters. So I won’t bealonealone.
“Okay.” I nod, pushing the smile on my face even wider.
But nothing about me feels okay.
two
SUMMER
“Tag! You’re it!”My nephew Jack touches my arm before running away. I’m left with no choice but to chase after him and my other nieces and nephews. They weave in and out of picnic tables, dodging my efforts. I’m surprisingly out of shape for someone who has an active gym membership, but maybe it’s the slushy snow on the ground that’s to blame. I have to work twice as hard for every step I take.
I wrap my arms around Max. “Got you! Max is it now. Aunt Summer’s going to go take a break.”
