Her eyes fill with tears, and my heart aches. Of course I wanted to tell her, but it went against everything inside of me, screaming that my secrets kept her safe. It’s bad enough that Alex is in on it.
When she looked at me with disdain for my lack of action in saving our people, I almost wanted to spit it out right then and there. There is nothing I want more than for her to look at mewith some semblance of respect and not think I’m a worthless waste of space the way my father does. I want her to know me . . . but I also want to keep her safe. She is mine to protect.
Rae shakes her head, continuing to back away. “What are you going to do?” she rasps.
I pause, tilting my head. “I’m not going todoanything.”
“You’re not?” she asks, stopping when her backside hits the bed.
“Love, I’d never do anything to hurt you on purpose.”
She closes her eyes, and it’s a knife to the chest that she would even consider me someone to fear. I wish I could tell her how much I care . . . howlongI’ve cared . . . how long I’ve wanted her, but for some reason, she keeps forgetting. Everything we’ve experienced throughout the years has somehow been wiped from her memory. Is that something else to blame her father for?
I finish drying my hair and throw the smaller towel toward the bathing room.
She opens her eyes at the wet slop of it hitting the floor and wrinkles her nose adorably. “You’re so messy.”
I chuckle. Her entire body tenses as I approach, and I can’t help but notice how her white shift is almost see-through. My cock hardens immediately, but this is not the time.
“I’m sorry, does that bother you?” I inquire as I place one hand on either side of her body on the bed and lean in. I can’t stay away from her. It’s pure torture knowing she’s mine and yet might not ever truly be.
She blows out a breath and, oh gods, I want to taste her so badly.
“I would have thought you’d be tidier based on the usual state of your rooms.” She motions around, seemingly unbothered by my proximity with just a towel around my waist.
I smirk. “Giles would disagree with you.”
Rae scrunches her nose again. “Ah, so you take advantage of your poor valet, huh?”
I inch just a bit closer, the sweet scent of her skin making me think all sorts of naughty thoughts. “You’re right, I could definitely be less messy. I’ll have to apologize to Giles.”
She smiles. “As you should.”
“Thank you for washing my hair,” I whisper in her ear, enjoying the way her skin pebbles. Perhaps I affect her just as much as she does me. These rules we gave ourselves are ridiculous. We should banish them immediately.
“You’re welcome,” she replies before placing a hand on my chest and gently pushing. Her expression hardens, and a door slams shut, closing me out.
As disappointed as I am, I acquiesce and back off.
“I really should try to sleep,” she says, a bitter edge to her voice.
“I’ll pray the nightmares stay away,” I reply, watching as she slides under the covers and turns her back to me.
I turn off the lamp and head to my dressing room to find something to sleep in, carefully putting my towel with the soiled laundry and pulling on a pair of loose-fitted trousers.
The thought of traipsing back to Alex’s rooms sounds unappealing. Before I change my mind, I go back to my room and slip into bed beside Raelyn. She’s already fast asleep, her breathing deep and even. It’s torture being here, but I can’t stay away . . . and I worry that she might have another nightmare after the stress of the day. We didn’t discuss her dream of the sun god, but that will most definitely be revisited in the morning. For now, I will try to sleep . . . and hope she can forgive me for the secrets.
I inhale, and my nose is filled with her citrus-and-vanilla scent. She’s imprinted herself in my bed and my sheets. My pillow smells of her soap. I hold back a groan, not wanting towake her. To be so close and not have her is a sweet sort of torture.
“Sleep well, love,” I whisper under my breath before flipping onto my back, cradling my head with my hands to keep them from finding their way to her.
I awakento a warm body nuzzled into mine. It takes a moment for me to orient myself despite being in a familiar bed with the morning light streaming in through my window. I look down at the head full of auburn hair nestled into my side and smile. I could get used to this—a heaven I never thought I’d get to experience.
I have no idea how she’ll feel about this, so I do my best to extricate myself from the bed without waking her.
Loath as I am to admit it, it was some of the best sleep of my life. Though if I dared to make this a permanent arrangement, things would inevitably get too . . . hard. Fuck. I need a cold bath. I’ve never needed so many in my entire life since she moved in.
My body is quite sore from the raid last night, but nothing is injured enough to require a healer. I perform a few quick stretches and decide that a run might be exactly what I need.
