The worrisome suspicion in the back of my mind wants to crawl out and scream, but I’m scared Kian will think I’m a lunatic. Until I have definitive proof, I’m keeping my suspicions to myself.
“Thank you for looking into this for me . . . I guess I should take my half portion of tonic now . . .”
Kian grimaces but hands me the vial, and I swig down half of it.
“Hennig said he would make you more and send a weaning schedule for you.”
“I’ll try to make note of any changes or weird symptoms,” I say.
“Would you like to go for a walk in the gardens?” Kian asks. “It would probably be good for us to be seen together. I believe it’s an overcast day if you’re worried about the sun . . . though you haven’t seemed any worse for wear after the last few instances.”
“True,” I muse. “But doesn’t it make our case if we stay locked up in our room all day?” I joke.
Kian smirks. “What a compliment that you believe I have such stamina.”
I flush beet red. “Um, that’s not?—”
Kian holds up a finger to stop my sputtering before leaning in and whispering in my ear, “Trust me, love, I can more than hold my own. And I’m willing to prove it if you ever want to find out.”
Heat floods my core, and I bite my tongue to keep from reacting and goading him further.
“A walk sounds fine.”
He chuckles and rolls his eyes. “Let’s go then.”
We make our way through the halls toward the entrance to the gardens. To our surprise, the sun is out in full force, and as soon as I step out into it, I hiss as it beats down painfully on me.
“Rae? Are you all right?” Kian looks concerned and pulls me into the shade. “What happened?”
I look around, confused. “I . . . I don’t know what that was,” I admit.
Kian places a hand on my forehead. “Are you ill? You feel a bit warm.”
“I think I need to go lie down,” I say. “I’m sorry.”
“Of course, I’ll escort you back.”
“No, I’ll be fine. Go for your walk. I insist.”
He looks around uneasily. “Are you sure?”
I give him a wan smile but nod. “Of course I’m sure. Please. I want you to enjoy the beautiful weather . . . and I kind of want to be alone right now.”
Kian’s jaw tightens and he looks like he’s going to fight me on it, but he concedes. “I’ll see you at dinner.”
I nod and he walks off, shoulders drooping. While I regret sending him away, I really need a moment to myself.
This doesn’t make any sense. The last time I was sick had been hours after my sun exposure following the wedding ball. But maybe that was because I’d taken my tonic earlier in the day and it had worn off some? When Kian proposed out in my garden, my tonic had broken in my sitting room, so I’d skipped it and had no reaction to the sun . . . Is my tonic responsible for my reactions? Does it somehow cause my affliction? And if that is the case, why in the realms would Father want me allergic to the sun?
A pit of rage forms in my gut at all the deception. I march through the halls, feeling instantly better in the protection of the palace. Perhaps it’s time to dig into the research I’ve been avoiding for fear of what I might discover.
The library smells of parchment and ancient texts, and I couldn’t be happier. Cozy alcoves with lighting bright enough to read but not so bright to make one squint look perfect for myresearch. I glance around for a librarian or someone to help me navigate the seemingly endless, sprawling space, but there is no one to be found.
I wander down one of the towering aisles of floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, my fingers grazing along the books, and I hope something will jump out at me, something that will tell me if I’m in the right spot or not. Most of the tomes are organized by century, and there are plenty of textbooks on the history of our realm. Wandering down another aisle, I take in the colorful spines that look like delightful stories to get lost in. I make a note to return to find some fresh reading material for later, but so far, nothing seems to hold the information I seek.
I turn the corner and stumble upon a librarian in aubergine robes.
“Oh, hello.” I smile. “Do you have a minute to help me find something?”
