I turn my gaze to him, trying to hold back the fear and the tears that threaten to spill.
“I won’t let anything happen to you. I’ve got you. I promise.”
I try to nod, but my lip quivers and the tears slip free anyway.
“Oh love,” Kian says, using a thumb to swipe them away before pulling me into his arms. My body stiffens at the contact, but when he rubs my back, I melt into him, accepting the comfort. I close my eyes and take in his scent of leather and spice. I’m starting to love the smell of him. I can almost taste him on my tongue, the memory still vivid.
As heat floods my core, I push away and sit up, not wanting to put myself in another compromising position with him.
“Thank you,” I say, needing him to know I’m grateful for the comfort.
“I want to be here for you, however you need me,” Kian replies.
“HoweverI need you?” I ask, and I’m shocked at the sultriness of my voice and the fact that I even said that to begin with. Damn hormones and blood.
Kian’s eyes darken, and he leans in toward me, a glint of something in his expression I can’t quite decipher. “Did you have something specific in mind, little goddess?”
“What if I need . . . release?” My face immediately flushes.Who the hells are you, and what have you done with Raelyn?I ask myself furiously.
“Are you asking for my assistance?” Kian’s voice is a low purr, wreaking havoc on my insides.
I freeze, unable to react or respond. What did I do? How do I get out of this? I don’t really want this, do I?
Kian reaches a hand to my cheek, his thumb gently running along my lower lip before tilting my head back. He moves just abit closer and trails his hand down so it rests lightly around my throat. “Tell me what you want, love. Just say it, and it’s yours.”
My body is alight from his touch. It’s too much. It’s not enough. I don’t know if this is what I want. I take a breath to say something—what, I’m not entirely sure—when the door opens and a maid brings in a tray of food.
The spell broken, I pull away and get up, marching toward the table and thanking the maid. Turning back to Kian I say, “I feel like I could eat a horse.”
Kian chuckles. “Don’t let Phantom hear that.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.” I laugh as I start piling food onto my plate.
I’m purposely avoidingmy husband. Again. If I close my eyes, I can see his smoldering gaze staring me down across the table last night during dinner. Would something have happened if we hadn’t been interrupted? I lay awake for hours, wondering if he would slip into our bed. All I had to comfort, or perhaps torture, myself with were images of his shirtless body gleaming with sweat, muscles bunching as he lunged for me, disarmed me . . . and my fingers, wishing they were his.
I pick up a book and fan myself with it.This is not why you’re here. Focus, Rae!
The hidden library alcove I’m seated in is cozy. I brought a warm blanket from our rooms so I could hole up here all day. It’s pouring rain and completely overcast, so I’m not able to go experiment in the sun anyway, as much as I want to test and see just how strong the godsblood is within me. Being alone with my books is my comfort zone, and I don’t want to be disturbed. I’mtrying to read anything I can get my hands on about the gods and their offspring.
Flipping a page, I yelp when the sharp edge slices into my finger. I look around for a handkerchief or something to staunch the flow but stop when the drop of blood on my finger catches the light. I’m almost mesmerized at the shimmer. It’s so faint, it’s hardly noticeable. I try to recall if I’ve ever noticed that before, but nothing comes to mind, or perhaps I’ve just never thought to look. Why would I have ever suspected this about myself? Absolutely no reason. Because my family has lied to me my entire life.Not bitter at all, huh, Rae?
I suck the blood off my fingertip after not finding anything to bind it, and to my surprise, the cut has already sealed. That’s new . . . but the books do say advanced healing is a part of being a demi-god. Perhaps my blood intake from Kian boosted my abilities despite the lack of sunshine. Plus, it was only a papercut, not exactly a mortal wound. Fascinating though.
Anger and betrayal cut me like a knife every time I think about how my father spent my entire life trying to keep me weak. What a fool I’d been to trust him . . . but he was the only father I knew.
I let out a muffled groan of frustration at all the conflicting feelings running through me. I’m exhausted.
Chapter Thirty-Five
RAELYN
“You have a visitor, my lady,” Kian’s valet says, scaring the hells out of me. I didn’t hear him come in and was just finishing my breakfast alone.
“Giles, I didn’t see you there.” I hold a hand to my heart, willing it to calm. “Do you know who it is?”
“I believe it’s your father, Lord Astoria.”
My heart starts racing again and my palms dampen at the mention of his name. On one hand, I’m excited to see him—it’s been almost two months. On the other, he lied to me, drugged me . . . I’m scared to face him, but oh, I have so many questions.
