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“Is that what you’ve been telling my little sister?” she asks, flipping the switch.
“I tell her a lot of fucking things,” I say. “And yeah, that’s one of them.”
“Good,” Lily says. I can practically see her nod with resoluteness, in this goofy fucking way.
“Are you wearing an animal on your fucking head?” I ask her.
“You know what it’s called.”
“No I don’t.”
“It’s a Wampa cap.”
“That Star Trek shit?” I say, knowing that it’s Star Wars. I like to give her a hard time.
“Star Wars. Lo would kick you for that.”
“Good thing he’s not fucking around.” My brother, a fucking comic book geek with looks that could murder and simultaneously melt women. It’s so fucking weird. Who would have thought? Nine years ago, not me.
There’s a long pause before she asks, “How is she doing?”
I glance at Daisy who rocks on her feet, antsy as she stands in one place for so long. Her bandaged cheek is on the other side. The only marks visible are the bruises beneath her eyes. I remember her smile as she came, her laugh and the genuine happiness that blanketed over her. I wish this bad fucking thing didn’t have to happen for her to make these hard decisions about modeling, but I am glad she’s finally made them.
“She’s going to be okay,” I tell Lily. “She looks good.” She looks fucking beautiful.
“Thank you, for what you did,” Lily says. “We all appreciate it, you know.”
I don’t pick my words that carefully. I just fucking say them. “I’d do anything for her.”
“Is it different this time?” she asks me.
“What do you mean?”
“In Cancun a couple years ago, you kind of saved Daisy back then too. I just wondered if you feel differently now.” What is she getting at?
“Say it fucking bluntly or don’t say it at all.”
She sighs. “Why do you have to be so mean?”
“I didn’t think I was,” I snap.
“Do you like her more now than you did then?” she says straight out.
“She was only sixteen back then,” I tell her. “I didn’t hang out with her that much.” The truth is way more complicated than that.
“Just say it bluntly or don’t say it at all,” Lily rebuts, with ten times less force than me.
I almost smile. “She means a fucking lot to me, Calloway.” It’s still not much better but it seems to appease Lily.
“Have you told this to Lo?” she asks.
“What would it fucking matter? He sees what he wants to see.” I’m the intruder, the fucking guy he opened his arms to, the guy he let in his life. If I stick my cock anywhere near Daisy, he will be affronted as though I fucked with his family, his friends, his world.
“He sees what you give him,” Lily says softly, “and you’re not giving him a lot to work with, Ryke.”
I run my hand through my hair and sigh. I’m so fucking scared to open up about my history with my own brother. That’s the fucking truth. I did wrong by him for so long, and if I start talking about it, I feel like I’ll just push him away more. I’ll give him no reason to be close to me. I have years of hate underneath my belt, no fucking love.
So why express that? What fucking good will that do?
I just want to forget it all and move on.
Daisy reaches the front of the line.
“I have to go,” I tell Lily.
“Was she happy that she’s able to go with you guys to California?” she asks before we hang up.
“Yeah,” I say, my chest rising with the fucking fact. “I’ll keep her safe.”
“You be safe,” Lily emphasizes. “You’re the one climbing. I’m packing a first-aid kit, just in case you fall, so you know.”
“Your fucking Band-Aid isn’t going to save me.”
“Wolverine is printed on the front. He can save anyone.”
I roll my eyes for the fifth time it feels like. “Let’s just hope we all make it there in one piece.”
Daisy starts walking over to me.
“Gotta go.”
“Bye.” We hang up, and I slide my arm over Daisy’s shoulder and carry her duffel. Mikey is going to stay in France for another two weeks as vacation, hopefully distracting the paparazzi and leading them off our trail. For the first time in a while, we should be free of the media.
“You ready for a fucking adventure, sweetheart?” I ask her.
She hugs me close and says, “Does this adventure contain cupcakes, Ryke Meadows and motorcycles?”
“Substitute the last one for a fucking rental car.”
She smiles. “I’m ready for this awfully big adventure then.” She pauses and adds, “With you.”
I kiss her temple.
30 days until Yosemite.
The fucking countdown begins.
RYKE MEADOWS
Seven days into the road trip, and I’m already fighting with my brother.
“Do you know how fucking inappropriate you are?” Lo is half-turned around in the front seat of the SUV, his jaw clenching as he lays into me. The surprising fucking bit of all this: it’s not even about Daisy.
It’s about Lily.
His fucking fiancée.
“I’m pretty fucking inappropriate,” I admit with a shrug. “I thought we all already knew that. So why are you hounding me about this?”
Lo gives me a look like are you serious? “You can’t talk about that shit with her. She’s a fucking sex addict.”
Connor’s eyes flicker to me in the rearview mirror, his hands tight on the steering wheel. Whether he sides with Lo or me, he doesn’t let on. Daisy twists her hair into a long braid beside me.
I groan loudly. “She’s so embarrassed to talk about sex. I was doing her a fucking favor, and secondly, I don’t know why you’
re yelling at me now. This conversation happened months ago.” Thanks, Lil, for bringing it up right now. When I’m in a confined space for fucking hours with my brother.
Lily and I talk often, but I don’t remember how we arrived onto the topic about public sex, maybe because she mentioned how she missed it. It’s one of her restrictions now that she’s in recovery. I was sitting on their couch, waiting for Lo to change for the gym, and I asked her all the places she’s done it.
Her face flushed red and she stumbled for answers. I thought it’d make her more comfortable if I listed my sexual fucking adventures.
Beaches.
Bathrooms.
Golf courses.
Woods.
Parking lots.
Elevators.
Parks.
Malls.
Gym locker rooms.
The list really just goes on and fucking on. I like screwing everywhere, especially outside. Lily started to open up a little bit. It wasn’t my fucking intention to share our sexual exploits with each other, but I just wanted to make her feel less ashamed about her sex life. So fuck me.
She told me she had sex with Lo in a movie theatre once. And how she did it at an amusement park when she was eighteen, on the fucking Ferris wheel.
My first thought: I have to give her some credit for that one. It sounded fucking fun.
And then she told me it was with a random guy she met at the cotton candy booth.
My insides kind of twisted. For her. For my brother. I wish she could have just enjoyed sex like me, but instead it was something else entirely for her. Something darker.
“I appreciate you trying to make her comfortable,” Lo says in a way that sounds like he really doesn’t appreciate it. “But for Christ’s sake, she’s texting me to clarify public sex to her.” He shakes his head and looks down at his phone and reads her text. “Is tent sex considered public sex, if the tent is owned by us? Because some people live in tents. Therefore that would be a house, and a house isn’t public, it’s private. Therefore, tent sex is private sex.”
Connor tries really hard not to make a sound (at least I think he does) but he ends up bursting into laughter.
