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I held it together until the parking lot. Walking through the prison had become a ritual. When I entered, I armored myself with every step in a perverted meditation, sinking deeper into Victoria’s granddaughter, cold, calculating, and ruthless. Someone like herself. Someone she would approve of. When I left, I shed chunks of that armor as I walked out. I couldn’t drop it completely. My grandmother had me watched, and if I ducked into the bathroom to cry the stress out, she would know and there would be hell to pay. Instead I took a lighter breath with each landmark. Exit the garden, let a little bit go. Turn the corner into the main hallway, a little more. Reach reception, another chunk. Exit the prison, exhale, but still hold it, to the car, through the parking lot, all the way to the side road two miles down.
Alessandro pulled up the moment I stepped outside. I got into the car, and he drove without a word. We turned right and sped down the lone road. I should have been able to just ride next to him, but the ritual had become too ingrained. By the time the side road swung into view, I was breathing shallow and fast.
“Make a right,” I asked, choking on the words.
He did. We rolled down the deserted country lane for another five hundred feet, behind the curve hidden from the main road by some trees. A small parking lot sat in the middle of the grove, barely wide enough to turn around. I had found it the second time I’d come to see her, after I panicked in the parking lot and drove, half-blind and crying, desperate for a place to hide.
“Pull over, please.”
He pulled into the parking lot. The car stopped. Blood pounded in my ears. My breath came too fast, my chest hurt, my throat constricted, squeezed in an invisible noose. I undid my seat belt with shaking fingers and slumped over. My arms trembled.
Alessandro’s arms closed around me.
I drew a long shuddering breath. It sounded like a sob. I just couldn’t get enough air in my lungs and I felt like I was dying.
He rubbed my back, the heat of his hand shocking even through the fabric of my blouse. I was so cold, and he was warm.
“I’ve got you,” he murmured in my ear. “It will pass. I’ve got you. You’re safe. She can’t see us.”
I concentrated on breathing. There was no point in fighting it. I had to let it wash over me and let it pass. Just wait it out. It was scary, and it felt like dying, but it wouldn’t cause any lasting damage. I’d felt this before, and I was okay after. This would pass and I would be okay again.
He held me. He didn’t know it, but in that moment, I would have done anything to just keep holding on to him.
Gradually my breathing slowed. I straightened my back and leaned on the seat. Alessandro stood next to me, his arms still wrapped protectively around my shoulders. He must have gotten out of the truck, come around, and opened my door, and I hadn’t noticed any of it.
And now he had seen my moment of weakness. Ugh.
“I’m okay,” I told him. “Thank you.”
He brushed a strand of hair out of my face. His voice was quiet and warm. “Does this happen often?”
“No. Only after I see my grandmother. Talking to Victoria is like running along a razor-sharp blade. Sometimes I slip and she cuts me. Usually it isn’t this bad. The last time I just pulled over here and sat quietly for a couple of minutes.”
“What happened today to make it bad?”
“She wants me to twist Albert Ravenscroft’s arm to find out if his family is involved in the attacks on my family. I balked and she threatened to hurt Nevada’s baby.”
Alessandro’s amber eyes turned dark. “She would injure her own great-grandchild?”
“According to her, he would be House Rogan’s grandchild. He’s nothing to her. Nevada is nothing to her. They have the same talent, but Nevada chose Connor. Victoria will never forgive her.”
He leaned closer, his gaze searching my face. “Why are you her favorite? Does she have something on you? Did you promise her something?”
“Yes, I did.”
“What did you promise?”
“I don’t want to tell you.”
“Did it have something to do with me?”
He was too perceptive for his own good.
“What happened to you after you left?” Sometimes the best defense was a good offense.
Alessandro crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the open door. The sunlight filtered through the trees around us, painting glowing stripes on the pavement and the car. One stripe caught him and for a moment, before he shifted out of its way, he looked golden.
“I went to find my father’s killer. I was very full of myself then.”
“Was?”
“More than I am now.”
“How is that possible?”
He sighed, impossibly handsome. “I’m a miracle of nature.”
I raised my arms. “The defense rests its case, Your Honor.” My voice shook slightly. The last aftershocks of panic dying down.
He tilted his head. “Do you want me to take you home?”
“That’s the first question you’ve ducked since you came back.”
“You won’t tell me about the deal you made.”
Touché. I stepped out of the truck. He was in my way, and I had to brush by him. He raised his arm, blocking me. Our bodies connected. An electric spark of excitement dashed through me. I made a point of looking at his arm. He refused to move it. We stood way too close, the space between us so tense with expectation, if we closed the gap, we would explode.
“Where are you going?” His voice was low, intimate.
“Wherever I want.”
“Where do you want to go?”
“Why do you want to know?”
This had to be the dumbest conversation ever. All of my brainpower was going into standing still and not raising my head to kiss him. He was barely touching me, but there was something hot and possessive in the way his fingers rested on my shoulder. I felt trapped, but there was no fear, only anticipation and lust, so much lust it was making my brain stutter.
He leaned half an inch closer, his eyes full of the orange fire that was his magic. This was the man who had stalked me through that MII hallway.
“Tell me where you want to go, and I’ll take you there.”
This was a dangerous conversation. “I don’t need you to take me anywhere. I can drive myself.”
He smiled, a slow predatory curving of lips. “But I’m such a good driver. Are you sure you don’t want me to give you a ride?”
“Are we still talking about the car?”
“You tell me.”
I tilted my head up and smiled at him. My wings unfurled from my back, translucent and radiant, like glowing gossamer. Alessandro looked at me with a desperate, quiet hunger.
“I’m going to see Albert Ravenscroft.”
“That’s what I thought. I will come with you.”
“No. I have to do this alone.”
“Don’t be difficult, Catalina.”
“If the Abyss attacks me, I will take away his matrix node. I’ve done it once already.”
“I checked on Albert. He, his father, his mother, and his younger brother are all Prime psionics. I’m not letting you walk into that house without backup.”
“I can handle the Ravenscrofts.”
He pretended to think it over. “No.”
“You are not in charge of me. According to the contract you signed with Linus, I can order you to leave.”
He leaned forward and smiled a sharp, predatory grin. “Fuck the contract.”
Wow. It’s like that, huh?
“I’ll make a deal with you,” I told him. “If I move you out of my way, you’ll surrender the driver’s seat and I will drop you off when we get back to town. If I can’t, I’ll let you come with me.”
“Mmm . . .” He pondered it, his gaze on my eyes, my lips, my wings . . . “Sounds like a good deal.”
“Can I trust you, Alessandro?”
“Yes.”
“You won’t go back on your word?”
“I won’t.”
Got you. “Ready?”
“Yes.”
I put my right hand on his left wrist and ran my fingers up his arm to his shoulder, feeling the steel-hard muscle.
“Good start?” I asked.
His voice was rougher. “Excellent start.”
I stepped back, sliding my hand back to his wrist. He followed. A step, another. Enough room.
I grabbed his wrist, raised it, turned into him so my back was pressed against his side and chest, locked my other hand on his shoulder, and straightened my legs, throwing all of my weight into it. He was several inches taller than me, which gave me the perfect leverage. My arm became a lever, my back became a pivot point, and Alessandro flew over my head and landed on his back with a thud.
Stunned eyes stared at me. I crouched, kissed my fingertips, pressed them to his lips, and walked to the driver’s side.
He grinned and jumped to his feet without using his hands. “Good throw.”
Oh no. I popped the jaguar on the nose and now he was excited.
“Who taught you that move?”
“You don’t need to know. You just need to know that it works, and I have more. You lost. Get into your seat and be quiet. I’m driving.”
He shook his head. “It’s fine. I can find my way from here. I will see you tonight.”
